"It just happened?"

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meh. If it happens, it happens. If not, I'm not overly concerned about it. I don't push the issue. The only thing I ask is that we know we love each other before we do it (so, obviously not happening when I first meet her)

Range, there are websites all over that specialize in hooking up people who are just looking for random sex (absolutely not my thing - never has been, never will be). But since it seems to be your thing, why don't you start with thestranger.com, look at AshleyMadison.com - surf the web (that's what you like to do anyway). Since you're not interested in all the trappings of a relationship (like massages or watching movies) then you should pursue an NSA hook-up. As a matter of fact, you might want to start googling just that phrase.

The movies were actually pretty good.
& with that attitude & those expectations you're prolly going to have some difficulty.
or at the very least have more to worry about in the way of sexual diseases.

You got to invest some time and effort dude.
it's like farming, you can't just pop some seeds in the ground and say, "grow damn it!"
you gotta water the poor things, plant them in good soil, protect them from birds and insects.
even if just a little. It's called the bare minimum.

what you seem to be after is a blunt-spoken white hooker. Good luck with that.

A lot of young women are sluts anyway, why go through the pretense of putting on 2 hour movies and giving neck messages? I was just talking to an 18 year old online who claims she's a relationship girl but has slept with 14 men in 2 years and hooked up with another 32. I know it's the Aspie in me, but I don't understand the games NTs play when it's obvious the two people want sex. And I'm also not willing to play those games with women who might actually just want to watch a movie and get a message without it leading to sex.

My ideal relationship would be a girlfriend that is a slut for me and me only because she's in love with me. We'd go in stores and make out pressed against the displays, we'd have sex in bathrooms, we'd go out to eat and just talk about nothing, we'd walk around hand in hand knowing we're a great looking couple. If we were to watch a movie, it'd be to enjoy the movie, not to lead to other things. I realize this relationship only happens in moves, which is why I'm single.

Range, when you talk about women who appear to be sexually active, but are apparently not interested in being sexual with you, you say things that are pretty misogynistic - and that is very unappealing. I seriously think you should talk to your dad, and ask for nothing but cash for Christmas. Use that money to buy yourself a nice escort, and get the job done. You've really begun to swing back and forth between coming off as a nice guy who just wants to find a nice girl, and some woman-hating, sex-starved person I would not want to know.

I'm both Hope. Since I don't have the nice, personally and sexually compatible girlfriend that I just mentioned, I'm bitter about not getting sex from sluts when other men are, and other men use deceptive methods to get the sex (i.e. pretending to want a relationship, making empty promises, borderline raping the girl i.e. the freezeout method.) I'm a nice guy who wants sex because he doesn't have a girlfriend. When I was dating that girl, I wasn't masturbating at all despite not having intercourse. I'm lonely, and the feelings and the desire for touching a female subliminates into feelings of misogyny and horniness.

If anything, it's hating men, not women, because I feel at least I could give women casual sex without lying to them or being persistent about it.

Seriously, there's a solution to your problem - get an escort. Nobody has to know. Use a condom, use a dental dam. You really are starting to scare me.

I've looked into escorts. Unfortunately, I don't have thousands of dollars to spend on one night. I get 400 dollars a month from social security that is written in my parents name, and they use it for food and when I need to buy clothes or get a haircut. The kind of escort I would want, appearance-wise, and being able to kiss/touch them, not just have the intercourse...would be thousands of dollars.

And I don't understand why I'm scaring you...because I'm a guy that wants sex but doesn't want to be an a$$hole about it? Believe me, if I could become completely asexual, I would. Life would be a lot easier. And i'm not saying that to vent. I really would become asexual.

You're scaring me because you're really starting to objectify women on a very fundamental level. You seem to be cultivating an intense dislike for women, and I'm worried that if you don't do something to fundamentally change your situation, you're going to end up like that guy who shot up that health club. You need to deal with this better than you have been dealing with it, Range. I suggest you lower you taste in escorts, and find one that will get the job done. Or try those websites I mentioned, but you need to stop this emotional tailspin you're in, because nothing good is going to come of it.

Btw, I know that I'm the problem as an Aspie, not the world. You don't have to remind me about that.

And no, I wouldn't become the guy that shot up that health club. If anything, I'm more likely to have another suicide attempt. Three christmas's ago, I was so lonely over not having female company that I swallowed pills and had to be rushed to the hospital.

If I thought I was a threat to anyone but myself, I would be in therapy right now. But after getting bullied my whole life, verbally assaulted by everyone of my peers and laughed at by random strangers in college classes and in public, nothing is going to make me completely flip out on the world. I'm all set.

Okay, I'm just about to log off, but don't crawl back into that hole of inaction. The only thing that will accomplish is to have you back here, again and again, nursing the same frustration and anger and pain that you've been nursing for a while. Do something about it, Range. Look at those websites, find a more affordable escort, and stop letting your virginity dominate and poison your life. It's not going to be perfect, it's not going to be just what you want - you'll compromise - just like everybody else who achieves the goal of having human contact. Most of us aren't living the dream, Range. Most of us have had way more heartbreak and disappointment when it comes to love and sex than thrills and butterflies. You're no different. Lower your expectations, lower your standards, and start moving forward with your life.

Not sure if you'll get this before you log off, but I'm happiest when I'm not thinking about women whatsoever. There have been brief stints where I'm just focused on my family and doing anything but thinking about women, such as a month ago when I was trying to form a band, but I can't control my hormones. It's like that Seinfeld episode "Serenity Now, Insanity Later"...If you bottle up your heterosexuality, it will just explode or implode, and that's what's happening right now.

Also, I'm no threat to myself either, at least in the foreseeable future. I didn't want to give off the impression that I was suicidal. I'm not.

Hopefully the 55 year old woman, that I'm friends with and talk on the phone with, will want to have sex with me if we get along when we meet. If not, I'm sure I'll find somebody else. I'm not holding out for the second coming of Roz or Daphne, don't worry.

Hope, I got your response via private message. I'll admit, I'm not up for the idea of a hooker, even a high class one. My pride wouldn't allow it, and a lot of the reason of wanting sex is to want a woman that wants to have sex with "me" and it will be just as nice for her. I know guys personally and online that have been to hookers, and they said, unless you're looking for cold, uncompromising sex and just looking for a hole and an orgasm, you'll be disappointed. But it's a moot point anyway because I have no money, never have more than 100-200 dollars on me at a given time, and every cent has to be accounted for to the government.

Part of the reason I'm having so much difficulty finding sex is because I want the romance sex even if there is no love. When I fooled around with my girlfriend, there was a lot of kissing and touching on my part, and I also out of genuine respect would always tell her that she was beautiful. I'm not going to get that at a bar or a club, let alone with a hooker.

I admit that my preferences make it harder than it has to be, but I have had offers online the past year or two where I could have lost the v-card, no strings attached, but the women were mostly thoroughly unattractive, and the ones that were decent told me upfront "I have no problem being your first, but I'm not into the mushy stuff."

I'm just being realistic and know that the obvious answer - finding a girlfriend that I'm attracted to and have feelings for - it's much easier said than done given the not driving. I can mask the aspergers and just be less blunt than I usually am - I've done that around women and not felt like a phony either. I can't mask the not driving with someone that lives 30 plus minutes away from me.

So the answer is to find a hook-up online. If this doesn't work (I'm giving it to around March) I'll just go out in person and do it the old fashioned way and look for a girlfriend locally.

'

this is exactly how it 'just happens', therange. two people feeling comfortable with each other, having chinese take out watching a movie and holding hands and maybe a kiss or two and the mood is right and they are alone and the lovemaking just happens. Then it is done and you can snuggle and eat the cold chinese and watch the rest of the movie. Don't overthink it. If it wasn't going to happen, it wouldn't have, but when it does, it's nice.

And I agree with HopeGrows, make sure you already have the condoms bought and handy.

Hey, I feel you bro, even though I'm a woman. All I want is a rich man who'll give me money and buy me things, but doesn't expect me to do inconvenient things like spend time with him, have his children or stay faithful to him. I could pimp myself out, but I want a guy who'll shower me in riches because *he* wants to, just because I'm so frickin' awesome. BTW, I'm a meth addict who dropped out of middle school when I was 16, I've never had a real job or a car. I like to spend most of my time hanging out at truckstops selling HJs and of course, doing meth. I hate men, why don't they just give me what I want when I want it? But I need a rich man to make me happy! Woe is me!

And just in case I didn't spread the sarcasm thick enough... "/sarcasm"

You are right. That is exactly how it happens.