Dating NTs

Post Reply New Topic

Who on this forum has dated NTs?

I have but feel that we didn't click and feel that my condition was a hindrance I am only mildly autistic (I get all types of humour and can come across as an NT). However I think I put NTs off due to my lack of facial expression. So for those who have dated NTs what do you think were the obstacles that occured in the relationship?

Hmmm, sadly i haven't really dated anyone, let alone NTs.
Rather hoping that will change soon though haha.

i get what you mean about the lack of facial expressions though.
Not so much that i don't have any, so much as my face just doesn't automatically make them accordingly.

I've dated an NT, and I'd say I was the obstacle.

I didn't during most of the 1980s as the girls then (neurotypical ones that is) would have said f**k off I'm fed up not hard up meaning they would not be seen dead going out with someone who got Asperger syndome. The only women That were interested in me had learning disabilities (an IQ of below 70). That was from 1988 onwards and 1989 I had someone (she was as thick as two short planks) who evenually lied about me to her mum and also had Aspiphobia as she used to be friends with aspiphobes. Because of her lies her mum though I was the biggest shithouse ever. Even her dad threatened me. I've never had anyone loyal to me or loved me unconditionally that I felt attracted to and was completely independent. that is not living with their mum and dad. Now with the woman lying about me and other betrayals I would not be seen dead going out with a neurotypical. I've been hurt too much by neurotypicals to last a lifetime. I have lited facial expressions and sould a bit like halfway between a Vulcan out of Star Trek and Trigger out of Only Fools and Horses. If I never went to an industial therapy unit in 1988 I would not even had that and been a 43 year old who never even dated before

Nope.

I have. It went OK because, even though she wasen't a aspie, she was a little different to everyone else. Thing is, we had little in common, so it fell apart in the end really.

Of course, if you could find a NT who you have things in common with and who you get along with, and who is understanding, then it could work out.

Dated, yes... and my wife isn't on the spectrum, though I would not refer to her as being NT, either. Biggest obstacles I faced? My need for routines, and the difference between our respective rates of change. If I look back, I would say that in most cases my partners changed about as much in six months as I typically change in four years (interests, social groups, appearance)... makes it hard to evolve together as a pair. Why did I get married? My wife and I have known each other for almost a decade and continue to grow closer together and can find multiple ways to talk/communicate when we're struggling. I have confidence that despite the difference we can continue to share and find that common ground.


M.

Interesting, I feel the same way about my wife. Too "something" to be NT. I'd say our biggest obstacle is my lack of energy/required time to recover after a long work week.

OP, as far as your lack of facial expression, have you considered any type of therapy or training that might help you improve your facial expressions?

I think the things you have in common with a person (core values, coping skills, good communication) are probably much more important than whether you're Aspies or NTs. Improving your facial expressions might make it easier to attract someone, but it's very important that you are selective when choosing someone with whom to pursue a relationship. It's the commonalities that will become the basis for your bond. Good luck, sweetie.

because of your picture everytime I read your posts I picture Alan Rickman talking

I have three times, and in each case it worked out great in all possible capacities while things were good. But when things started going downhill, our ways of approaching "problems" in every case were so wildly different and incompatible that it resulted in a long, drawn-out, unfixable downward spiral and eventually a devastating crash-and-burn.

Do you picture Lori Petty or her character Kit talking when I post?

I don't know who that is but I picture you looking like the person in the picture

The better question is does he picture drunk ass Jimmy Dugan when he responds to you... I know I do

who is that?

The girl in her avatar's baseball coach.