Hung out to dry?

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Here's the outline;
My partner of 4 years got a dog between us 18 months ago, we live a mile apart, but I was to look after him for the 3 nights in 9 when she was on the night shift and she has him the rest of the time. Almost right from the start I felt pushed out with the dog, I never got to hold his lead or do the stuff at dog school with him etc. I felt he was only my dog when it came to paying for him and that I was basically enabling HER to have a dog.
Being a generally placid sort, my solution was to rescue my only little terrier a few months down the line. The dogs get on fine and play together. The terrier came with a few problems, but I've worked hard to resolve them and the partner has been rather bitchy about her and full of snide comments, but is coming round slowly.
Now I have a problem. The joint dog has started baying like a hound for hours on end in the day when I'm at work. This started when my lodger had to go away to help her sick mum and she might not be back for 5 more months! The barking goes straight through the wall and wakes up nest door's baby. Obviously this has to stop.
My partner's solution is to try the dog on herbs to help him shut up. Herbs! To me, this has to stop immediately for the sake of the neighbours and herbs may have a slight, short term effect. Partner refuses point blank to have the dog at hers temporarily in the day while she is in bed, just while we help him break the habit. Her reasons are that he might bark at the postie and wake HER up.
I'm left to appease the neighbours and the stress of all this is affecting my work and everything else. I feel like changing the locks to be honest and she says it's because I'm an Aspie, I see everything in black and white.
Am I overreacting and is she right? I don't know what to do.

You're being manipulated by her. Tell her why you think the dog is mainly her responsibility and say you will take it to the RSPCA if she doesn't take it.

I DO feel manipulated, but as I'm fond of the dog, that would be too hard. He deserves a good home too, which he more or less has. I feel conned and abandoned, which sounds over dramatic, but hey. Maybe the relationship, as it were, is well and truly over.

She sounds very selfish indeed. She thinks other people should be disturbed by her dog rather than her. She's the one who decided to get a dog, she's the one who should take responsibility for it.

If it were me I'd lay down the law. Tell her she either takes the dog full-time or, if you want, you take it full-time. Then at least you can do something sensible about addressing the noise.

As for the noise, dogs usually do that because they are bored and lonely. Walk a dog well before leaving it and it'll sleep while you're away (but I wouldn't do this unless the dog was mine.)

Well, selfish I agree. He is well walked, just got into a bad habit. I was just now talking to next door and they're moving to a new town in 3 weeks, so their son can have more help with childcare off family. That buys me time to help the dog, before the next lot of neighbours move in, but I reckon my so-called relationship is in tatters. And, I fear that's the way it'll stay.

I really don't think it should be your problem. What else do you do for her? Hang her out to dry for a while by stop doing other stuff for her if you do this already.

If you want to keep the dog then I guess just try to give it herbs and walk a lot and only see her when you have to.

You could pretend to tell her she has to keep the dog full time just to see what she does.

I do not get it. You've being together for 4 years and suddenly SHE decided to get a dog together without asking your opinion? Usually when a couple get a pet together is because things are getting serious and they are planning on moving forward. If she decided to get the dog without asking you then you have no responsibility here and you can ask her to keep her dog. But if you did agree, then you have to do your part.

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