Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

07 Jan 2010, 8:18 pm

Hope you've got time, this is definately a wall of text.

Well, the story is that there's this girl I'm crazy in love with, No lust or anything like that, but, yeah, she made me happy and brought out the best in me - which is rare, seeing as some people would call me a "depressed and whiny Goth/emo kid". She was aware that I was in love with her, and I confessed so many times to her face; and she just ignored it like she was deaf or something, and then we kept going on with our conversation. I walked home with her from school nearly every day to her door, and then of course we hugged and whatever, and then went our seperate ways, etc.

But the strange thing about it: she insisted on listening to this song every day we walked back from school http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uimfKXgdUCQ. I was a slight fan of the band, but the first few lyrics I thought showed my situation with her. And then one day I was walking back with her, and this other dude that I really hate (but who was my best friend years ago) agreed to work together on this project for English. So we were getting along fine, and he said, "I know you like her a lot and whatever, so I'll be your wingman." Then he started making advances on her: he held her hand, asked personal questions which she happily answered for him, and kissed him a few times. And then when we got back to her house he somehow managed to let her make out with him, which really pissed me off.

But still, that's going off the track a bit, because: a few weeks later she was forced to move to a different town with her dad, and has occasionally come back to hang out with me. Her ex boyfriend, however, (who was a good friend of mine at the time), well, I didn't like to spend too much time with him, because he was a jackass who smoked too much weed and his friend we're with us one time, and this other guy mentioned he had a girlfriend, and whatever and he was drunk and high and all that crap. The real annoying thing is that she let him feel her up, and the real annoying thing about that is that I'd known her from months told her i loved her, spent time with her knew her better than nearly everyone. She let this guy do that, with me being about 10-15 meters away! I would be bound to notice and again another thing that pissed me off, of course: a few hours later she kissed me, and that was my first kiss, the thing is it was nothing awesome or anything like that. It was a simeple kiss on my lips, and then the next real annoying part is that she kissed her ex-boyfreind as well -.-' And of course I felt like crap again. So time went on, and both of us had to go home. So yeah, she insisted on walking the other guy to his house, which was the other side of town - a thing which she would never have done for me.

But still, we walked back and her mum called her on the phone, and said something on the lines of, "You're grounded and all of that crap, and you're not allowed to see them again, and whatever." And I was being the sensible one, when she insisted on walking her freind back to the other side of town and telling her, "He's capable of doing it himself. Let's just leave and let them get back. I don't want to stay out too late, because I feel as if I'm gonna get stabbed in the subway."

So we got back to her house, and she said, "Well, this might be the last time I see you," and then walked away. No hug or anything, and of course I was felling horrible on my way home. I'm definitely sure she has no feelings for me whatsoever, other than seeing me as a friend. But the thing is, that she might be trying to make me jealous and be a bit more advancing, because I'm not like that at all. However, in the months since she's moved away she's told me, "I would go out with you if I still lived in Newbury," and whatever. Sure. I knew her well and whatever, but she's an extremely bubbly person, if that makes sense to anyone. And, well, I've figured I may just as well give up on her, but my problem with that is, that I can't do that, and I don't even believe I can find someone who I loved like her.

Sure, there are girls I know that I have a minute lust for, but that's because of (well. this may sound a bit sexist) certain physical features, and the way they purpousely get you to notice them. I mean I really don't understand much about her anymore, and also since she's gone I've been feeling lonely socially as well, and haven't had nearly as much social interaction with large groups of people than when she was there. My main problem is: that girl and I always had something to talk about, laugh about, and whatever. I mean, I could hang out with her and play guitar hero with her as if she was my best friend. We could have hour long arguments, about things, without actually having hard feelings or any form of hate at all. So we just got on with what we we're doing afterwards. like nothing happened. A lot of people at school were trying to "fix us up", and saying, "Oh, you two should go out," and whatever. Every time someone said that, she kind of ran away a little and hid behind me. And one thing that kind of threw me more into the crapper when I was hanging out with her, was: I was walking down the main shopping street/area/high street of my town, and then she would start screaming, "Hot guy! Hot guy!" and the annoying ass thing about that was that the guys she was screaming about were about as attractive as a pile of cow faeces. She didn't really pay much attention to me whenever she saw me walking down the street.

When i wasn't with her, I may have drifted too far into the "friend zone". But I don't really know.

One day, it was raining real hard, and she was cold and didn't have a jacket to keep her warm, and of course I may just as well stop here, because it's the really cliché'd thing. and you can figure it out: I gave her my jacket. As a result of that i ended up with a cold, and she still didn't acknowledge me much at all. Can someone help me out here?



Last edited by black_legion on 08 Jan 2010, 1:25 pm, edited 3 times in total.

black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

07 Jan 2010, 8:22 pm

[ignore this, i can't delete it now]



Last edited by black_legion on 08 Jan 2010, 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Elementary_Physics
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 296
Location: Wisconsin

07 Jan 2010, 8:32 pm

Wasn't cliche at all - Almost heartbreaking to read. What shes done sounds so hurtful, and I can't image what that must be like. All I can say is, I am sorry.



black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

07 Jan 2010, 8:57 pm

There's nothing to be sorry about



Pobodys_Nerfect
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 600
Location: New Zealand

07 Jan 2010, 9:09 pm

What do you think she'd say if you said you can't just be her friend anymore because you love her as more than friends?



black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

07 Jan 2010, 9:39 pm

Probably nothing, or you don't



VincentVanJones
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 462

07 Jan 2010, 10:53 pm

I really want to read this and reply, but I really have trouble with the formatting, it all blurs and I get a headache. Now that you have it posted can you please go back and reformat for readability? I really do want to read this...



kingtut3
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 354

07 Jan 2010, 11:02 pm

It took me three years to get over having my heart broken. It's a normal part of having Asperger's. All I will say is give it time. Go out and build relationships, and not just with girls. That's what helped me the most. Getting into your special interest is a great way to distract yourself, but don't let that replace relationships with others. It's okay to not be friends with her if you can't handle it. If you continued the relationship, your emotions would make it impossible to build it in a healthy way.



VincentVanJones
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 462

07 Jan 2010, 11:21 pm

kingtut3 wrote:
It took me three years to get over having my heart broken.


Only 3? I envy you. I still have thoughts of "what if" about a girl from almost 5 years ago.... But it was a very messy set of circumstances....



black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

08 Jan 2010, 7:29 am

VincentVanJones wrote:
I really want to read this and reply, but I really have trouble with the formatting, it all blurs and I get a headache. Now that you have it posted can you please go back and reformat for readability? I really do want to read this...


I would if I could it's just I wouldn't know what way to really reformat it into



black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

08 Jan 2010, 7:38 am

kingtut3 wrote:
It took me three years to get over having my heart broken. It's a normal part of having Asperger's. All I will say is give it time. Go out and build relationships, and not just with girls. That's what helped me the most. Getting into your special interest is a great way to distract yourself, but don't let that replace relationships with others. It's okay to not be friends with her if you can't handle it. If you continued the relationship, your emotions would make it impossible to build it in a healthy way.


my largest problem with this advice is that i live in a small town and I already know all of the people that I share interests with, and there aren't many other people that would let me hang out with them just
because i'm a bit of a goth and they just act like complete degenerates anyway and the next part of the big problem is that theonly people I know a
that are available to hang out with In a way are high off their asses I haven't even seen my best freind in months because hes been out working and whatever(hes a year older than me so he'll be out of school and whatever) which kinda sucks for me again and I can't really spend much time goofing off with my freinds as much as I'd like to, and I don't have many freinds in school to hangout with anymore, and the social group that I was with for months now hates me, and I don't understand why so I'm pretty much forced to sit around by myself at lunch and play guitar (it's a very small school so everyone knows eachother)



Homer_Bob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,562
Location: New England

08 Jan 2010, 8:15 am

You say that now; you can't get over her and there will never be another person like her again. No offense but you are still a young kid with many, many years ahead. You will get over her and move on, it's part of life; teens always are devastated by relationship losses because they are so inexperienced and don't know the meaning of life yet. In the coming years you'll probably find someone else who is better. You got to think to yourself that your life is just beginning and this girl will be nothing but a mere memory years later. By skimming through your massive post, it sounds like she's not even worth it to begin with. It's very rare to stay with a person you meet in your teens years, it can happen but it's very rare, especially today.



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

08 Jan 2010, 8:34 am

VincentVanJones wrote:
I really want to read this and reply, but I really have trouble with the formatting, it all blurs and I get a headache. Now that you have it posted can you please go back and reformat for readability? I really do want to read this...


seconded, although if i was feeling better id try reading it.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

08 Jan 2010, 11:30 am

You fancied her and she thought of you as a friend- it was always going to be messy, but in this case, she's not over her ex boyfriend and is taking your friendship a bit too much for granted.

It's one thing for her not to fancy you (and it really sounds like she doesn't- sorry to be harsh); that's her choice.

But if she values you as a proper friend, she shouldn't treat you like trash either. It sounds to me as if she's used to the idea of you fancying her and likes it (who wouldn't want another person interested in them?) but still doesn't think of you as a genuine friend. This may be because some guys pretend to be friends with a girl until they realise she really isn't interested and drop her like a brick. I'm not saying you're like that, but it may be how she justifies her flakiness.

Your best bet is to do as others here have suggested; chat to people, hang around with others and don't rule out any other girls you meet. I guarantee she is not the 'love of your life'.



black_legion
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: England

08 Jan 2010, 12:22 pm

i doubt there would be anyone in my area that i would have simular interests with that one, doesn't make themselves look like a sex toy, or doesn't do drugs or three and finally not be a total b***h towards me and be completely closing even if she was new to the group i was with and all i was saying was something on lines of hi. :?



dddhgg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,108
Location: The broom closet on the 13th floor

08 Jan 2010, 1:16 pm

I've cleaned up your grammar and punctuation, and formatted your story somewhat. Maybe you could copy/paste it back into your original post. (Man, I do wish today's kids would learn about punctuation and paragraphs more thoroughly. :D)

Quote:
Well, the story is that there's this girl I'm crazy in love with, No lust or anything like that, but, yeah, she made me happy and brought out the best in me - which is rare, seeing as some people would call me a "depressed and whiny Goth/emo kid". She was aware that I was in love with her, and I confessed so many times to her face; and she just ignored it like she was deaf or something, and then we kept going on with our conversation. I walked home with her from school nearly every day to her door, and then of course we hugged and whatever, and then went our seperate ways, etc.

But the strange thing about it: she insisted on listening to this song every day we walked back from school http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uimfKXgdUCQ. I was a slight fan of the band, but the first few lyrics I thought showed my situation with her. And then one day I was walking back with her, and this other dude that I really hate (but who was my best friend years ago) agreed to work together on this project for English. So we were getting along fine, and he said, "I know you like her a lot and whatever, so I'll be your wingman." Then he started making advances on her: he held her hand, asked personal questions which she happily answered for him, and kissed him a few times. And then when we got back to her house he somehow managed to let her make out with him, which really pissed me off.

But still, that's going off the track a bit, because: a few weeks later she was forced to move to a different town with her dad, and has occasionally come back to hang out with me. Her ex boyfriend, however, (who was a good friend of mine at the time), well, I didn't like to spend too much time with him, because he was a jackass who smoked too much weed and his friend we're with us one time, and this other guy mentioned he had a girlfriend, and whatever and he was drunk and high and all that crap. The real annoying thing is that she let him feel her up, and the real annoying thing about that is that I'd known her from months told her i loved her, spent time with her knew her better than nearly everyone. She let this guy do that, with me being about 10-15 meters away! I would be bound to notice and again another thing that pissed me off, of course: a few hours later she kissed me, and that was my first kiss, the thing is it was nothing awesome or anything like that. It was a simeple kiss on my lips, and then the next real annoying part is that she kissed her ex-boyfreind as well -.-' And of course I felt like crap again. So time went on, and both of us had to go home. So yeah, she insisted on walking the other guy to his house, which was the other side of town - a thing which she would never have done for me.

But still, we walked back and her mum called her on the phone, and said something on the lines of, "You're grounded and all of that crap, and you're not allowed to see them again, and whatever." And I was being the sensible one, when she insisted on walking her freind back to the other side of town and telling her, "He's capable of doing it himself. Let's just leave and let them get back. I don't want to stay out too late, because I feel as if I'm gonna get stabbed in the subway."

So we got back to her house, and she said, "Well, this might be the last time I see you," and then walked away. No hug or anything, and of course I was felling horrible on my way home. I'm definitely sure she has no feelings for me whatsoever, other than seeing me as a friend. But the thing is, that she might be trying to make me jealous and be a bit more advancing, because I'm not like that at all. However, in the months since she's moved away she's told me, "I would go out with you if I still lived in Newbury," and whatever. Sure. I knew her well and whatever, but she's an extremely bubbly person, if that makes sense to anyone. And, well, I've figured I may just as well give up on her, but my problem with that is, that I can't do that, and I don't even believe I can find someone who I loved like her.

Sure, there are girls I know that I have a minute's lust for, but that's because of (well. this may sound a bit sexist) certain physical features, and the way they get you to notice them. I mean I really don't understand much about her anymore, and also since she's gone I've been feeling lonely socially as well, and haven't had nearly as much social interaction with large groups of people than when she was there. My main problem is: that girl and I always had something to talk about, laugh about, and whatever. I mean, I could hang out with her and play guitar hero with her as if she was my best friend. We could have hour long arguments, about things, without actually having hard feelings or any form of hate at all. So we just got on with what we we're doing afterwards. like nothing happened. A lot of people at school were trying to "fix us up", and saying, "Oh, you two should go out," and whatever. Every time someone said that, she kind of ran away a little and hid behind me. And one thing that kind of threw me more into the crapper when I was hanging out with her, was: I was walking down the main shopping street/area/high street of my town, and then she would start screaming, "Hot guy! Hot guy!" and the annoying ass thing about that was that the guys she was screaming about were about as attractive as a pile of cow feces. She didn't really pay much attention to me whenever she saw me walking down the street.

When i wasn't with her, I may have drifted too far into the "friend zone". But I don't really know.

One day, it was raining real hard, and she was cold and didn't have a jacket to keep her warm, and of course I may just as well stop here, because it's the really cliché'd thing. and you can figure it out: I gave her my jacket. As a result of that i ended up with a cold, and she still didn't acknowledge me much at all. :cry: Can someone help me out here?


_________________
Dabey müssen wir nichts seyn, sondern alles werden wollen, und besonders nicht öffter stille stehen und ruhen, als die Nothdurfft eines müden Geistes und Körpers erfordert. - Goethe