Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Sorry to be the stubborn one...

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

amwoods8644
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

09 Feb 2010, 2:38 am

But I have a point to make. I contend that it's incredibly insulting to belittle the "special interest" of someone who has Asperger's syndrome.

So, apologies for the... stubbornness of this, but how would you react if you were already feeling alone and isolated (and had clearly expressed as such) and your boyfriend/girlfriend said something to the effect of, "I know you see this as really beautiful, but to most people it's really boring."

I was simply trying to explain how hurtful it was that people dislike me when I try to bring them into my world. It's very painful. And here he did the same thing.



Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

09 Feb 2010, 3:56 am

Unfortunately, hurtful as it may be, he does have a point. That doesn't mean he shouldd nag you to give up your interest, it just means that he himself may not find it as fascinating as you do. I'm sure he has hobbies which you find boring as hell too1

Anyway, who cares whether other people like your interest'; it's your interest. :)



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

09 Feb 2010, 4:03 am

um... can you link us to the original topic?



pat2rome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,819
Location: Georgia

09 Feb 2010, 5:53 am

amwoods8644 wrote:
But I have a point to make. I contend that it's incredibly insulting to belittle the "special interest" of someone who has Asperger's syndrome.

So, apologies for the... stubbornness of this, but how would you react if you were already feeling alone and isolated (and had clearly expressed as such) and your boyfriend/girlfriend said something to the effect of, "I know you see this as really beautiful, but to most people it's really boring."

I was simply trying to explain how hurtful it was that people dislike me when I try to bring them into my world. It's very painful. And here he did the same thing.


I think he was just trying to warn you that even though you find it fascinating and can talk on the subject for hours, it might not be the best topic for discussion since your interest is largely unique to you. A better way to start a conversation is to find a common ground with the person with whom you are conversing.

He wasn't belittling it at all; I think he showed respect for and understanding of your feelings.


_________________
I'm never gonna dance again, Aspie feet have got no rhythm.


RICKY5
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,201

09 Feb 2010, 9:26 am

amwoods8644 wrote:
But I have a point to make. I contend that it's incredibly insulting to belittle the "special interest" of someone who has Asperger's syndrome.

So, apologies for the... stubbornness of this, but how would you react if you were already feeling alone and isolated (and had clearly expressed as such) and your boyfriend/girlfriend said something to the effect of, "I know you see this as really beautiful, but to most people it's really boring."

I was simply trying to explain how hurtful it was that people dislike me when I try to bring them into my world. It's very painful. And here he did the same thing.


Keep in mind that among the NTs, we have to do our best to blend in with them. It's their nature to get put off by us.