Long term relationship with an aspie

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orangesun
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Joined: 20 Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 27

24 Jan 2010, 10:32 am

Hi guys,

As some of you might recognize, I'm back again.
Last time I posted here I think I was with my gf for about 7 months, and now, we have been together for a year (just over).
There is just a few questions I need to ask - I'm not sure if this is a dating or AS matter, but I thought you guys might be able to help, it helped last time.

Anyway to the point.
After a year of dating, I am starting to become confused about where the relationship is headed, we seem to be talking less, and we have cut down our meetings to once a week now (used to be twice, and sometimes 3)
I personally think she thinks the relationship is fine, and she has been having a few problems with friends recently (exclusion) and I have been helping her and supporting her with it.

But I just don't know, is that the way of the Aspie? Do Aspies usually turn the notch down after a while and stop "saying" things which make one another feel good - because it seems like I feel rather neglected as we slowed down our sexual relationship (she said we were moving too fast), and to top it off, we hardly talk on the phone anymore.

From time to time she says she misses me, but I don't know, I still love her, but I would just like some insight on if this is a normal trait in a long-term relationship with an AS person.

Many thanks, and any feedback would be appriciated.
Orangesun.



Lene
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Joined: 27 Nov 2007
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24 Jan 2010, 2:37 pm

Orangesun, you have been asking the same question more or less for a long time. You always seem very worried about whether your girlfrind loves you or not.

I honestly don't know what to say that will make you feel better that's different from all the other replies people have given you over the months. She may find it hard to express emotions and that is something she will need to work on, but equally, for this relationship to be healthy, you need to either accept that she does love you and stay with her, or that she doesn't and move on. This limbo isn't doing yourself any favours.

She sounds hard work, and I wouldn't blame you for walking away, but if you are going to stay with her, then you need to be strong and independant and not let doubts creep in.

Also, who says you are not allowed some input into how often you meet up? If once a week is too little, say so! You sound almost too scared to say anything in case it rocks the boat!