I GOT A DATE! Now what?

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Last semester, I developed a crush on an attractive, outspoken girl in my economics class, but I stayed away because I thought she was straight (it would have been my luck, really). Then I found out via Facebook that she is (a) not straight, and (b) not attached. After some sweetly awkward online finageling, we arranged to meet each other for coffee and sightseeing downtown.

I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for a first date.

It is important to me to keep things casual so that the essential intensity of my personality does not scare her off. I want to avoid kissing at first because being too quick to kiss has gotten me into trouble in the past. However, I want to make sure that we're having a date, not a friendly get-together.

If you can find a small, of the main path place to eat that serves great food... take her to dinner. It needs a good 'ambiance' .. just not a local dive... ask around, everyone has their favorite place to eat. And it's question you can ask a total stranger, like the girl at the check out counter... "I'm kinda new around here and have a date tonight, can you recommend a good place to eat?"

A movie is an 'ok' option... Avatar has a love story in it. But it would be better to find a 'cultural' event or see a fun/quirky band.

Touch is important. Help her on/off with her coat. Hold doors open. Take her hand to get past crowded areas. Comment on her great earrings & brush her hair aside to get a better look.. might want to ask "can I see?" before moving her hair.

and remember to breathe! Not too much, not too little, but keep on breathing. When you get all tangle uped in nerves or thinking you said the 'wrong thing' . . .. just concentrate on taking another good inhalation and relax. We have enjoyed your online company for ages, Miss P, so you have our word for it that you are a very likeable and interesting person, so take your confidence from that . . . and breathe!

Merle

Awesome ! !

First of all, just have fun and be your most socially adapted self. Pay attention to her interests and don't go on whining about your interests if her body gesture shows she's not interested anymore. Give her a few mild compliments but don't overdo it. Try to be funny, because women like men with a decent sense of humor. Don't get too nervous and if an uncomfortable silence gets too uncomfortable just come up with some random irrelevant topic just to keep the interaction. And of course, make sure you wear your best outfit and you look better than ever.

As the time together continues, try sitting next to her and as you go to the bathroom or otherwise get up from your seat try to sit closer to get when you get back and watch how she responds. If she shows an instinctive reaction to move in the other direction, then avoid sitting too close as she's clearly not comfortable enough for that. If she doesn't show any sign of that, however, you might eventually end up sitting with your leg right new to hers, your thigh right next to hers and your shoulder right next to hers. If she's still comfortable with that and both of you seemed to have enjoyed your time together, you might try kissing her the moment you go your own way at the end of the date....

That's more of less how I got my last girlfriend

Lesbian dating? For my roommates it always ended in sex after the first date. About the third they became permanent fixtures in the home. But this was college and I digress...

So from my HS lesbian dating scene... Assuming you're both young, this is probably going to be an awkward experience. Actually dating is always an awkward experience and doesn't get easier (you just get to know the rules more).

Go out, have fun *in public* and catch a bite to eat. No touchy-feely there. Conversation and discussion.

If you can (knowing it's winter in most places), go for a stroll. You'll get some time to talk some more and at the same time, try to make your move. The move being to grab a hand and hold it. This is generally why you'll want to do it in a semi-private or private setting to avoid awkward-ness.

Go see a movie. This part lets you get close BUT you'll need to determine if you want to get close at the end of the date or in the middle. Lets you get more touchy-feely.

Physical contact is what you're going to be after. A kiss is "whoo-hoo!" whereas holding hands is completely and totally appropriate and still a "win".

Basically the girls I knew who were into the stuff (and I had the pleasure of being around) where extremely physical (hand-holding, kissing, etc.) and didn't have much of an issue with the PDA's. However, there were a few who did and preferred to go to more private locations (e.g. the beach at midnight).

Congrats!!

Congratulations!! :D:D you have done well, first of all, I would get to know more about her, I'd stick with the idea of not kissing her, on the second or the third time round, sometimes it's better to ask than just do it... Then this way you wouldn't get into as such trouble.

Has she confessed any feelings about you? If she has, it's also a very good time to tell her and that's when the full relationship begins


superboyian.

well congrats!
first off i just want to say BE YOURSELF! This person is going to like you for who you are, don't try and pretend to be someone that you're not. If you don't act like yourself, then how are they supposed to relate to you, and know the REAL you?. Try and find things in common, but don't ask so many questions that your date ends up like an interview. Try to not get nervous, most things happen for a reason, and if this is meant to be, things will eventually fall into place.

Why is it that most people here never think further behind than the actual "getting a date" part? <_<

Generally it's the hardest part and a lot of people here have a problem making the initial connection.

you know, all those people here who do get a date, but dont know what to do, reminds me of this quote from the joker in The dark knight, when joker says:

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it."

this, and i mean it, this seems to apply to most people here, or well those who get a date and not know what to do with it.

And no, this is not rude, this is just how things seem to be : /

I think there is a lot more trepidation and concern with getting the first date than what to do on the first date.

How many people need to be approached in order for someone to 'score' that first date?

Generally, the accepted number is 1:10 depending on the scene. This is where all the PUA guides come along, how to break the ice, look interesting and be able to isolate the girl. This is often the biggest and greatest challenge - men attempting to break past their own insecurity and simply being able to approach a woman.

Once you get a conversation going and figure out what each one of you like, it's not very hard to go out and have fun.

Having fun is easy, but getting her tosee you as boyfriend material and correctly responding to her non-verbal signals is much harder....

And IF you get her to see you as boyfriend material, then it's a matter of keeping her interested.... which can be just as hard.

Sometimes I really hate women.... Why do they have to be so irrational?!?

Women generally decide whether to date a guy (or not) in the first couple of dates. If you're not "clicking" by date #3, then you may as well be friends. Attempting to belabour the point and "convince" the woman that you're the right guy most of the time results in frustration.

Assume for a second you can walk into any place, talk to a woman, and arrange a date within 5 minutes. Would you spend your energy on a woman or, knowing your not getting the feedback you want, go chat up another woman in order to land another date?

In the first case, you're hoping and trying to convince one woman you're the right guy, giving all the cues and showing her all the benefits of being with you. In the other case, you're simply putting yourself out there and if the woman finds things she likes, she's expresses interest and you move forward. Regardless, it's on to the next date.

IMO, men who focus on the "date" portion are too willing to settle. They're too convinced that they're the one, and that if women would just see them for who they are, they'd be convinced they'd met the perfect guy. They're also willing to compromise and only show a limited view into their interests in hopes of not scaring the woman away. If you are able to line up a date every day, you're not one of these guys, it's okay if you focus on the date portion then.

Why do men have to be so irrational about women?