What to talk about on a first date?

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In my thread "Making a good impression on women" I made the following observations :

As well as this may work, I still have trouble with finding the right topic. Unless I really share a passion with someone (like history, music or film) I often end up either getting out of conversational material or falling into my old habbit of babbling on about topics no one is really interested in. Sure it helps to show interest in the other person's job or daily life, but if their job and daily life aren't that fascinating it's not exactly easy to fill an hour of conversation with it let alone an entire evening. I recently had two dates with two different women and while the first went pretty well (though not well enough to get any more out of it than the possibility of friendship) it seems I screwed up the second one as I had several of these "you idiot, what are you doing" moments which probably led to her decision to go back home after less than two hours. With a third date (with yet another woman - thank God for dating sites) coming up next Friday I wonder if any of you have any advice on safe conversational material that I could use to pad the time between the more interesting topics with, just so I can avoid falling into my old habbits or having to force myself talking about her job as an office clerk in a bank (not the most exciting topic).

Oh, and one more thing.... How can I figure out whether she's having a good time and whether she's interested in my romantically? I hopelessly fail at reading the signs and I don't want to either miss out on a potential romance or think I have a shot while totally screwing up. Neither are options that are easy to handle, so any tips in that particular area are welcome as well. In the past I only dated women who already had fallen in love with me after talking with them for dozens of hours on MSN Messenger, which made things a lot easier....

What about family? Where she grew up? City or country? Where she went to school. Pets. Things she does in her spare time. Movies. Hobbies. Books. Bad date experiences (those are usually hilarious and great tension-breakers. I used to love to hear and share those, lol). Interests. Anything someone may collect.

Hard for me to think of topics, because conversation always flowed very easily for me. But I agree-- just talking about someone's job is probably not great conversation, LOL.

I'd definitely leave out the part about how women are intellectually and spiritually inferior to you - cause they're so shallow and all.

That would definitely be good advice.

Pick places to go where you will have something to talk about, like a museum or exhibition. You can alternate between asking her about herself and commenting on the surroundings.

Avoid the cinema (hardly any conversation at all) and not dinner (too many awkward silences)

Hmmm. Sounds like good advice... I'll try that some of those when I'm out of topics



That's what I usually talk about until I'm out of conversational material.



Hmmm.... I've always been told to avoid talking about ex-girlfriends. I never considered talking about bad dates...



I never said women are intellectually and spiritually inferior to me. I just rarely meet women more than superficially interested in most topics.



I never considered a museum or an exhibition a suitable option for a first date, but this does seem well worth trying... although I don't want to come off as too nerdy. Out here, going to a movie or a pub seem the more obvious things to do on a first date.

Oooh, museums are an excellent idea.

hmm, having read your comments on the 'AS Males what are your views on girls', Salonfilosoof, I feel inclined to recant my earlier statement about taking your date to a museum.

In your case, the cinema would be a great choice. Or perhaps mime classes.

The fewer words you say during the evening, the better you will probably fare.

Although don't take my word for it, I'm just a woman

Comments like those are definitely one of the reason I find so many women obnoxious. You read or hear one thing, you falsely assume another and then start offending the person because of your false interpretation of whatever he said. I really want to like women, but if you behave like that you make it pretty damn hard.

Further, this date on Friday is actually a big thing for me since she and I get along quite well talking on MSN and I really don't want to screw up the first time we see one another in real life.... oh, and I've ranted to her about women a few times as well but she didn't seem to bother and just complained about men instead. That's how mature people deal with criticism.

Anyway, today she's given me some not so subtle hints that she hopes more will come out of our date next Friday. So maybe she and I could be a match...

My stories are all tragic and somber. I have nothing adventurous or humorous to say, having lived in a war zone most of my life. If women are fine with that, then great.

In a war zone? Figuratively or literally? Your name sounds pretty Dutch/Flemish so I wonder where you come from...

Anyway... there must be at least a few interesting annecdotes to tell. It can't be that you never did ANYTHING in your life that you enjoyed and can tell passionately about....

Ask her which is her favourite sexual position?

Ask her if she wants babies and how many?