As an NT female...

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13 Mar 2010, 12:51 am

...I'd like to reassure those young, single and inexperienced guys that there is hope for you all Many girls (NT or otherwise) find AS traits attractive and you don't have to feel doomed because of them. That is all

ToadOfSteel
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13 Mar 2010, 12:58 am

Do they find us attractive enough to approach us? Or at least give us signals we can actually understand that let us know that it's perfectly okay to make an approach ourselves? Because most aspie guys, myself included, are worried about what could go wrong...

This is the webcomic I link whenever I want to explain what goes through our minds, and I've used it a couple times in wrongplanet posts:

[img][650:173]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/creepy.png[/img]

Postures
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13 Mar 2010, 1:04 am

That cartoon is awesome!

Unfortunately a fair amount of girls rely on guys to make the first move. I certainly would never approach someone I found attractive out of fear of being rejected. However there are girls out there confident enough to do it, you just gotta let them find you.

GoatOnFire
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13 Mar 2010, 3:22 am

Postures wrote:

...I'd like to reassure those young, single and inexperienced guys that there is hope for you all

Many girls (NT or otherwise) find AS traits attractive and you don't have to feel doomed because of them. That is all

What about the old, single and inexperienced guys?

Any aspie traits in particular you were thinking about that would be a good idea to play up?

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DavidM
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13 Mar 2010, 4:20 am

I make women work real hard if they want a piece of me. They need to earn my attention.

PLA
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13 Mar 2010, 7:17 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

And some of us may grow accustomed to being the scary man people circle at a distance. Like a shark in a small pond. :roll:

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WoundedDog
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13 Mar 2010, 1:21 pm

Postures wrote:

Unfortunately a fair amount of girls rely on guys to make the first move. I certainly would never approach someone I found attractive out of fear of being rejected. However there are girls out there confident enough to do it, you just gotta let them find you.

Double standards are a turn-off.

MichelleRM78
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13 Mar 2010, 3:49 pm

I had no problem asking my AS boyfriend out first. I also expected him to ask me out on subsequent dates, however. No one wants to be doing all the asking.

iceman314
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13 Mar 2010, 4:12 pm

Well, even if the girl makes the first move it can be difficult. I probably wouldn't know if a girl liked me unless she jumped up and down shouting it out

WoundedDog
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13 Mar 2010, 5:41 pm

MichelleRM78 wrote:

I had no problem asking my AS boyfriend out first. I also expected him to ask me out on subsequent dates, however. No one wants to be doing all the asking.

And now you know how guys feel.

MichelleRM78
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13 Mar 2010, 6:31 pm

WoundedDog wrote:

MichelleRM78 wrote:

I had no problem asking my AS boyfriend out first. I also expected him to ask me out on subsequent dates, however. No one wants to be doing all the asking.

And now you know how guys feel.

Do I? I think guys put way too much pressure on themselves. It doesn't have to be something formal-- just a "hey, you free saturday? maybe we can do something." In fact, most women, after their teens, don't want a formal question. Casual is "in." I would think that most women, after a date or 2, would be willing to ask-- not just willing, but wanting to ask to do stuff.

MichelleRM78
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13 Mar 2010, 6:32 pm

iceman314 wrote:

Well, even if the girl makes the first move it can be difficult. I probably wouldn't know if a girl liked me unless she jumped up and down shouting it out

Yea, that's pretty much what I had to do, LOL. I actually had to tell him "I like you." It worked for me

ScottF
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13 Mar 2010, 10:56 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Ironically, the little dude's cartoon thoughts are actually what happens to me... women seem to be turned off by me...

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Postures
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13 Mar 2010, 11:20 pm

WoundedDog wrote:

Postures wrote:

Double standards are a turn-off.

How are those double standards? I would probably approach people I liked if I had more self-esteem as I have no trouble with talknig to strangers. I can't speak for the majority of females though. The ones I know prefer being approached.

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Postures
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13 Mar 2010, 11:23 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:

Postures wrote:

...I'd like to reassure those young, single and inexperienced guys that there is hope for you all

Many girls (NT or otherwise) find AS traits attractive and you don't have to feel doomed because of them. That is all

What about the old, single and inexperienced guys?

Any aspie traits in particular you were thinking about that would be a good idea to play up?

Old, single and inexperienced guys have a chance too

In my opinion shyness, awkwardness and obssesions are good Aspie traits to play up. Personally I find them adorable and I'm sure there are plenty of other women who do too.

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PLA
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14 Mar 2010, 6:21 am

Postures wrote:

GoatOnFire wrote:

Postures wrote:

...I'd like to reassure those young, single and inexperienced guys that there is hope for you all

Many girls (NT or otherwise) find AS traits attractive and you don't have to feel doomed because of them. That is all

What about the old, single and inexperienced guys?

Any aspie traits in particular you were thinking about that would be a good idea to play up?

Old, single and inexperienced guys have a chance too

In my opinion shyness, awkwardness and obssesions are good Aspie traits to play up. Personally I find them adorable and I'm sure there are plenty of other women who do too.

My shyness only makes me look brooding and scary.

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