Do you see the point in dating?

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 


Do you see the point in dating?
Poll ended at 13 May 2006, 1:13 pm
Yes 32%  32%  [ 9 ]
Yes 32%  32%  [ 9 ]
No 18%  18%  [ 5 ]
No 18%  18%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 28

deep-techno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,080
Location: Exeter, UK

15 Apr 2006, 1:13 pm

Do any of you see the point in dating? I don't, since dates aren't important in my life and they are not biologically compulsary. I am only a teen, but I don't understand why people think that it is important to have a boy/girl friend at their age. I will be happy without a girlfriend or a date, but if they were intelligent and kind and honest (maybe even an aspie!) then I would go ahead if they came to me.

People at school can be very childish about someone 'fancying' someone else, too. For one thing it doesn't even concern them and they just want to be stupid (that they probably are) and that they've probably got something better to do. I have never really been anyone's date (well, about 7 years ago in primary school when I was more socially capable) and I will not waste time on something that can completely backfire. Besides, friends are more inportant to me than dating and I have a few friends that I talk to most of the time.

Do you see the point of dating? It would be interesting to hear your points of view.



Odda
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
Location: Caught in the depths, and infinite vastness of cyberspace.

15 Apr 2006, 2:10 pm

I may be wrong, but I believe dating is a good way for two people to get close to each other, and have a good time, and see if their compatible. But I feel you on how people seem to think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the most important thing in the world. I personally have better things to do than date, and I enjoy being single.



GroovyDruid
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide

15 Apr 2006, 2:25 pm

deep-techno wrote:
Do you see the point of dating? It would be interesting to hear your points of view.


Your question is candid and refreshing. I understand why you might ask it.

I do see the point in dating. Although dating is not usually easy for me, I find that communication with--in my case--a woman of character and wit adds much to life. Also, sex with a person one respects, admires, and to whom one commits can bring a lot of joy in the sharing of the act and also in having children.

A lot of aspies become bitter about dating. It's no wonder, considering how we are treated at times. But I encourage you to keep an open mind on the subject. Just as you don't have to pursue it single-mindedly, don't kill it in the bud, either. Reserve your decisions until you are a bit older. (I say this from my own vantage of 25 years old.) We aspies often develop at a more leisurely pace, and there's no need to make decisions in your teenage years about whether you'll be a dating person or not. You might not fancy anyone until you're in your 30s, and that's just fine.

Our culture throws a lot of bad information our way in the area of love, sex, and marriage. The culture tries to rush you. Don't buy it. I think you've got the right idea in that you're taking your time and sorting this out.



Aspie_Chav
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,931
Location: Croydon

15 Apr 2006, 2:29 pm

I am sure you are one of the lucky people who don’t need anyone to be happy. If you are not one of those people then, to my knowledge, there is nothing you can do about it. Loneliness is like a prison, or should I say it is like a slave master punishes you for not finding anyone. Feel bad like this for a long time, and you soon forget about noble thoughts, like self respect, honesty, patients or even being yourself.

I feel like the only choices I have to make it stop are bad ones. I just want it to stop, please, make it stop, please make it stoop!! ! :(



Lonermutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,724
Location: Namsos, Norway

15 Apr 2006, 3:13 pm

I see absolutely no point in dating whatsoever.



Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

15 Apr 2006, 3:48 pm

if you can't date someone, or get to know them, how do you expect to find someone to marry, or a lifelong partner?



TheBladeRoden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,208
Location: Wisconsin

15 Apr 2006, 4:01 pm

arranged marriages?


_________________
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own" -Adam Savage


Paula
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2005
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 728
Location: San Diego Calif

15 Apr 2006, 5:22 pm

Oh no no no no no, can you imagine what your parents might come up with for you???? Oh wait...I'm sorry, maybe your parents have good ideas........I must be suffering from some PTSD from my parents idea of a great guy for me. I absolutely think dating is a good idea, then that way you get to know a person before yuo get serious with them.



ELLCIM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 513
Location: Canada

15 Apr 2006, 7:03 pm

deep-techno wrote:
Do any of you see the point in dating? I don't, since dates aren't important in my life and they are not biologically compulsary. I am only a teen, but I don't understand why people think that it is important to have a boy/girl friend at their age. I will be happy without a girlfriend or a date, but if they were intelligent and kind and honest (maybe even an aspie!) then I would go ahead if they came to me.


Having a girlfriend is a very important thing to some people, including myself. I for one have a need in my life (as opposed to me being needy, although I can be that way sometimes :oops:) to have someone to spend a lot of time with and cuddle with when I'm down, and to have fun with too. It may not be important to you, as it is not important to some people.

Some people need a boy/girlfriend, and that's fine. Some people don't need one, and that's fine too.



Veresae
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,023

15 Apr 2006, 7:18 pm

I see the point in dating, but then I'm interested in relationships and romance as opposed to just sex.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

15 Apr 2006, 7:51 pm

I do and don't.

I understand why people do it, but I could never really be bothered with it myself.



Aspie_Chav
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,931
Location: Croydon

16 Apr 2006, 2:55 am

Veresae wrote:
I see the point in dating, but then I'm interested in relationships and romance as opposed to just sex.


I prefer needing someone for sex rather then love. Needing someone for love is so depressing.



emp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,002

16 Apr 2006, 5:29 pm

Needing?! As plenty of people will tell you, in a good relationship, the couple do NOT need each other. Needing someone for love... needing someone for sex... needing someone to be your girlfriend/boyfriend... that is completely the wrong attitude.

In a good relationship, the couple do not need each other, but WANT to be with each other. Think about it, which is a nicer thing to say, "I need you" or "I want you" ?

I choose to be with you because... I have to be with you because I need you, am forced to be with you ? Or because I just simply want to be with you?