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Gremmie
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13 Apr 2010, 10:53 am

Does anyone else have this? What I mean is occasions when you just lose all romantic feelings for someone. My boyfriend and I argued a bit on Saturday and now I just feel nothing. It's like the emotional stress of that just washed everything away. I still feel like he's my best friend but the idea of kissing him or anything just doesn't feel quite right (unusual for me). It worries me a bit - if my feelings are so fragile then should I really be in a relationship? Just waiting to see when they'll come back this time.



ToadOfSteel
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13 Apr 2010, 11:59 am

That might just be a sign that you need a little alone time. Have you been in contact with him a lot lately?



HopeGrows
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13 Apr 2010, 12:04 pm

Gremmie wrote:
Does anyone else have this? What I mean is occasions when you just lose all romantic feelings for someone. My boyfriend and I argued a bit on Saturday and now I just feel nothing. It's like the emotional stress of that just washed everything away. I still feel like he's my best friend but the idea of kissing him or anything just doesn't feel quite right (unusual for me). It worries me a bit - if my feelings are so fragile then should I really be in a relationship? Just waiting to see when they'll come back this time.


It doesn't sound unusual to me - feelings of attraction ebb and flow in a relationship.

I guess I'm wondering if you feel like the argument you had was resolved? Sometimes there can be a lingering resentment when an argument isn't resolved (just stopped), and that can affect attraction.

Or is it possible that you learned some things about your bf (through the argument) that fundamentally changed how you feel about him? Sometimes it's not the subject matter that's the problem so much as the way your partner approaches conflict resolution.

Maybe spend some time considering the argument, and if there's still something that's bothering you about it. I think what you've described is normal....just give yourself some time, okay?


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Shebakoby
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13 Apr 2010, 1:24 pm

I'd have to have them first.



KittenWithAWhip
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13 Apr 2010, 10:48 pm

I think it's normal. "Feelings" are chemical combinations that your brain churns out. When those go a little topsy-turvy, then it may take a while for the romantic ones to normalize. A little dopamine, seratonin, and oxytocin (cuddling is reeeeaallll good for this one, but ya gotta feel like it again first) and it'll probably be back to right. ;)


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CerebralDreamer
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14 Apr 2010, 1:53 am

Gremmie wrote:
Does anyone else have this? What I mean is occasions when you just lose all romantic feelings for someone. My boyfriend and I argued a bit on Saturday and now I just feel nothing. It's like the emotional stress of that just washed everything away. I still feel like he's my best friend but the idea of kissing him or anything just doesn't feel quite right (unusual for me). It worries me a bit - if my feelings are so fragile then should I really be in a relationship? Just waiting to see when they'll come back this time.

It happens. Just try to avoid assuming those feelings will never come back. I've found that I go dry anytime I get really upset with someone, and I've already made one mistake because of it. Just give yourself some time to normalize, and see if things pick back up. People say not to rush a relationship forward, but that advice is even more important when it comes to break-ups.

Give yourself some time to think, and don't make any hasty decisions you might regret later. (I guess this is me saying, don't pull the same stupid stunt I pulled...)


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Spazzergasm
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14 Apr 2010, 1:17 pm

Blips seem to be normal.



Gremmie
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15 Apr 2010, 12:49 pm

Thanks. It's good to know that I'm not just being a complete freak!
We hadn't actually resolved things properly I don't think. We just skipped over them so yeh resentment lingered a bit - actually mentioned it to him so now we are sorted and life can continue in peace. :)
I sort of realised that the few times it's happened before it doesn't magically just go away - he's noticed before and we've sorted it. I don't think he did notice this time so I had to actively bring it up.