Who here has never been in a relationship?

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Can firmly answer, at the age of 27, none of the above. No kissing, no relationships, no anything. And it's not a lack of interest on my part. I''ve had girls try to flirt with me often enough. Just most of the time it flys completely past me until hours or days or even months later. Not that it would matter. Even when they are so blatant about it that I see it right away I have no idea how to handle it. So I end up just shutting down and walking away. Sucks.

I have never been in a relationship. I find it very hard to find a same-sex partner.

Still human. Most people (and other social animals) biologically need quality social interaction to survive. In my opinion (which I shall express, regardless of the risk of being burned alive) Aspies can fall into many categories; as part of their Aspieism(?) having never had this need, having adapted in some way to not having this need, having found ways to fill this need, or(in my unfortunate case) having found no way yet to adapt. Also in my opinon(is that an angry mob in the distance?) the last category probably accounts for most of the severe depression and suicidal ideation associated with AS. At least it does in my case.

Well, your story gives hope to those still a few years younger... excuse me for asking, but do you have any intentions of having children (or already have them) too? Because personally, I believe having children doesn't mean just procreating, but also all the steps involved in raising them, spending quality time with them, neing there for them when they need you... and although it's true that human males can father a child up to an advanced age, not being around later when they are growing or not being able to take care of them certainly would suck, IMO. I'd like to be able to teach my children everything I've learned throughout my life, and make good persons out of them. I wonder what others think of the issue.



I believe you can for some time distract yourself from all that by focusing on other things, but sooner or later that won't be enough. It is a need, after all, and as you yourself said, we're all human.
At least when I'm depressed I don't have suicidal tendencies. Instead, I do things I normally would think more about before doing, like buying stuff I like but don't really need. I'd rather spend that money hanging out with someone, but not having that someone, well... the bad part is when I'm out of a job and keep spending my savings from time to time in such things. Probably if I had someone she would talk some sense into me...

Be careful what you wish for. A girlfriend or a mutual romantic interest isn't a cure-all. It WILL likely make things worse after it ends. I haven't seen a therapist since June of 2008, and will now be seeing someone to talk me off the ledge because of a girl that broke up with me a year ago and haven't seen in any capacity since July.

I frankly dont think that children are really in the stars for us. My gf is only seven years younger than I am and that is already a risk factor.
Besides neither of us, especially not her are ready to take on additional responsibilities as we are still trying to get our lives sorted out.

But that is quite another and very long story.

i've never had a propper relationship, i've been round girls but the geekiness creeps them out

I've found a way to adapt and have developed a pretty solid emotional armor. Anytime I feel like I need someone, I remind myself that most relationships just outright suck.

Over 20 years old and I have yet to have a female friend. I also made it a point to not make any kind of friends through the Internet since I feel it's too easy to hide your true self and act like someone very different. I really do wonder about my odds of finding a girlfriend, since I have many doubts about the whole soul mate concept. How can I randomly find someone that's "just right for me" randomly where I happen to live? For all I know, such a person could be located half way across the world. Also, how would I find someone that's willing to deal with all my weirdness and often "deviant" views on various subjects? So I guess the idea of a "soul mate" isn't someone that's a 100% match for you, but when around half of all marriages end in divorce, at least in America, I can't help but feel something is wrong.

39 never had a relationship

19 and never in a relationship.

Me

Almost exactly the same for me, only I'm 28

I've recently turned 30 a couple of weeks of ago on the 28 of April. Never even had a date before.

Last edited by Jono on 11 May 2010, 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Attraction isn't a choice. You can't "choose" to fall in love with someone you're not attracted to, and I'm sure you agree with me on this. Very few men (except for Heff) believe that they'll end up with a supermodel. On the other hand, good looks are an indicator of a healthy specimen. This is to make sure that more healthy individuals are born.

All the above? Check. I've had absolutely nothing in my life so far ;no girlfriend, no affection, no fun. I've imagined what it would be like to have sex and I have to say I really want it now. I'll admit I'm tired of waiting. The first couple years like my later teen years, I really didn't care that I had nobody but now it's bugging me. I see gorgeous girls around me all the time that I want to screw whether it's random girls I see in the public or at school; there is at least one female in every place that I go to that I would want. In the end I really don't even want a girlfriend per say but to just get a friends with benefits thing instead. On the other hand maybe I'm better off getting nothing because if I get it once and never get it again that could be worse. At least I don't know what I'm missing.