How do you talk to a person of the opposite sex. Really?

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I went to an after party for a big road race I competed in. It was a nice, casual, low key thing at a house, and I had a fairly good time chatting with the people there except...

There was this one girl, looked about my age, absolutely stunning, with a wonderful smile and a great laugh (you could hear it across the way). I so wanted to talk to her, but dammit, I. Just. Couldn't. I'd linger close, but wind up talking with someone else, and drifting away. And then it came time to leave, and I felt an utter failure.

It's so strange. There are a lot of women I can talk to, but they're either spoken for, or older than me, or otherwise unavailable to me. The ones who could be potential matches cause me to freeze up. One thing, I think, is that I feel that no matter what I say, it will be fraudulent on my part, because I've initiated a conversation based "I find this person attractive, and want to learn more." Except I feel guilty.

Yet this is perfectly natural, don't you think? Why do I feel guiltly? Especially when I know that I'm not a shallow, looks only person. Truly. I mean, yes, one it comes down to it, potential partners out to be attracted to each other physically. But I care much more about what's going on inside...what they do, what they love, what their ambitions are. I've met women in the past who were pretty, but quickly became ugly to me because they had nothing on the inside. And I've known plain people who become attractive through what they've got going on.

I suppose my solution could be that I only associate with conventionally unattractive people, and hope I get lucky with one of them, but that still doesn't resolve the problem at hand. I wanted to talk to this girl, and I couldn't. There have been countless girls like her, and I shudder to think at what I've lost by not overcoming this silly, stupid fear of mine.

What do I do?

BR

LADIES, PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE THE ABOVE PLEA FOR HELP

Going up to a beautiful woman and introducing yourself is about as hard as working out SQRT(PI) in your head. The key to this is practice because once you get used to walking up to one stunning beauty after another you'll lose some of the fear. It would however help a lot if the women, on seeing a guy struggling a bit, would help him out instead of making excuses and moving on. Please remember though there are no magic chat up lines that will make women fall at your feet, you just have to be yourself.

So, walk up to her. Look her in the eyes (yeah, hard, I know), and say 'hello, I'm Brian'.

Now comes the next hard bit, what do you talk about? The key here is that you need to listen to what she's talking about and then try to respond. Having decent conversation skills helps and this is why you need the practice.

Come on folks, let's help out Brian and see what we can all learn here.

Vanilla_Slice

Perhaps if you feel dishonest Brianruns10 by approaching women you find physically attractive, try being totally honest to break the ice. Explaining that you find them attractive and want to see if they are as nice as they look. When I say this, I don't mean tell everything, just this one thing and see if you can talk easier to attractive women. I know that sometimes this will not work with women but it's worth a try.

Women are like us, but they don't get nervous approaching men as much as we do.
Except in anime.

So as LostAlien says, walk up to them and say, "I'm too nervous to talk to you."
You could also purchase this shirt and wear it.

As a pretty attractive NT woman, my advice is to just try and say hello and ask her about herself or whatever she's doing. Be casual and genuine.

Really attractive women get hit on ALL the time. One more guy coming up to you is sort of expected (not to sound arrogant, but it's true). So, it's much less of a big deal for her than it is for you. She already has a lot of practice deciding if she's interested or not, or turning someone down. And, the more sincere you are the better, I think. Attractive women get hit on by all kinds of players and smooth talkers. Unless she's totally shallow, she's probably sick of the players. So being sincere is a great differentiating strategy.

I do agree that all women have some sort of human obligation to at least be polite to people (so long as they arent boorish and aggressive) who express an interest in them. It's hard to have to be the one initiating and taking risks all the time. And it's hard to face ongoing rejection. Most women don't understand this because they're the ones who are being approached.

We tend to imagine the worst case scenarios in these situations. It goes something like this:

Guy: Hi, I'm Andy, nice to meet...

Pretty Girl: Who do you think you are, loser?! Get your geek self away from me before my real man friends beat the crap out of you. If I wanted you to talk with me I would have already started the conversation. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? Hey everybody, look at the loser who thought he could just talk to me like he's anywhere NEAR good enough for me.

Everyone: HA HA HA!

Guy: (Slinks away)

As a matter of fact, this was also an XKCD comic, except it was all in the guys imagination, and the girl just thought "I wonder why that guy never talks to me?"

I guess the only advice I can give is not to fear any conversation, but to treat it as an enjoyable experience. Talking to a pretty girl should be FUN, not scary. Be genuinely pleased to meet her, not because you hope against hope she'll be your girlfriend, but because meeting people is better than not meeting people. Even if she turns out to be a b***h, at least you know one more person to avoid.

The problem is: for a neuroypical guy, it is a challenge to talk to a sexy girl. For an Aspie, it seems like climbing the Everest.

you gotta deepen your voice so you sound like james earl jones and say "hey baiby lemme get yo digits"

Talking to someone of the opposite sex begins with Listening.

Listen, listen. But don't ask too many questions. Get a sense of what they like to talk about and talk to them about it. And if what they like doesn't interest you, tough luck, but you'll find common ground after some time. That will be the beginning. And who knows, maybe you'll learn something new about yourself and what you can do.

I'm still marveling at the fantastic differences between Women and Men. You can never talk to both of them in the same way. There are different aspects of yourself that you can show to one and then the other.