Can two strong personalities ever work together?

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The past couple years, online and in real life, I've noticed a pattern, and I'm equally at fault and deserve at least half of the blame in these situations.

I've had at least four friendships (in one case a dating relationship which there's no need to get into because most of you know by now in detail) where strong personalites were involved on both ends. In each of these four cases, not only did both parties have a strong personality, but strong conflicting personalities.

The first one was an old friend (the one who eventually tried to flirt with the girl I was dating.) I always let him know that I thought he was settling in his relationships, that he just wanted to live away from home and have a loving presence to go home to so bad that he didn't care if she wasn't attractive or friendly. (His ex wasn't just unattractive, she seemed to be controlling.) Eventually, you all know me, I started to say this in harsher words, and we got in a big fight over it. That wasn't the problem though. Our whole friendship was like this...one big disagreement.

The girl I dated, no need to rehash, but I will say that she strongly disagreed with a lot of my opinions (which a lot of people do, I have brutal, sometimes offensive opinions.)

A member of this site, we talked everyday for months, until I made a few controversial comments, one that was made in jest and due to a random anger implosion caused by being randomly put on ritalin by my doctor. I will respect both the moderator's wishes and the privacy of the member of this site and not get into detail, but my point is, we both have strong differing personalities, and I think something like that was bound to happen sooner or later.

Also, a girl in her early 20s that I talk to as a strictly online friend, she has an extremely strong personality, will flat out tell you if you're boring her...but somehow it works as just as online friendship because we've found a way to talk without pissing each other off.

The first friend I mentioned, I still talk to his younger brother online, and make practically the same comments about him that I did with his brother...and we still have really good debates and conversations because he's not offended by what I say and is kind of the Robin to my Howard Stern (if you ever listened to or watched Howard Stern.)

It seems the only strong personalities I get along with are people who have similar opinions as my own. A poster on here who I'm acquainted with though not great friends with shares a lot of the same views as me on sex vs. love, so while we're both opinionated, we probably wouldn't butt heads if we talked more.

I also take my share of responsibility, Aspergers-aside, for having these opinions in the first place and having to accept the consequences of alienating people, but I'm wondering if two strongly opinionated people who often disagree can co-exist?

What constitutes a strong personality?

You have a strong personality Tim because like me in a way, you have a lot of opinions that are out of the norm. But it can also mean someone that someone that doesn't back down or doesn't tolerate bs.

People who do NOT have strong personalities usually rub me the wrong way. Although to me, having a "strong personality" and being straight up dense are generally very different things--I find that fundamental weakness and immovable density usually go hand in hand, and I will in most cases steer clear of those types, and in many cases promptly and coldly break them off if forced to associate with them.

If they can work together, they'll be unstoppable. :p Oh and i don't know if this holds any water for you people, but my parents are Aries and Taurus, which i've read somewhere is the most solid combination of the zodiac. =/ And they seem to have stuck with me so far, so... <.<

this. I find people who are weak in their persoanlity and unopinionated very difficult to deal with, they make things very unclear and its very hard to have a conversation with them. I think if I was NT it would not be such an issue as I would be able to make small talk, but I am only able to make 'big talk', discussions about important things.

I do find it very hard to be friends with people who dont agree with me, Im too harsh to be able to rescue a disagreement on anything. This is a big problem as most people disagree on some things and so leads most potential friendships to going down the toilet. I dont know a good solution though as I seem unable to hold myself back for saying my opinion and unable to repair damage done.

To answer the topical question: Yes, I believe they can. But only if they learn how to effectively bend, and be willing to do so.
Strength of personality is not synonymous with stubbornness. Even if a person does not have a strong personality, but is stubborn, then the relationship is dealt a blow.

i do not really have a much of a personality, so i guess mine would be weak.
however i am stubborn and will not accede to another persons way of being if i do not want to.

i have a "friend" who likes me more than i do him, and he is very passionately opinionated on many topics.
mostly he is delusional and he believes things like there is an "illuminati" that are controlling every aspect of the events happening in the world.

he believes that they wish to reduce the population of the world to 500 million and they will enslave those 500 million by subterfuge.
he thinks they created the 2004 earthquake that produced the indian ocean tsunami's, and he thinks that they can create and steer hurricanes. he thinks that they were responsible for hurricane katrina, and he believes that everything that happens that is a decremental development to the way of life of people is attributable to them.

he stifles all conversation by leading them back to his conspiracy theories.

example: (i remember dialogue accurately)

me: it is condemnable that the government allows foreign ownership of residential property.
house prices are outrageous because there is no supply, and they will not allow developers to produce more housing due to constrictive legislation, yet they allow people in other countries to buy up all our houses and leave them vacant because all the foreign investors want is the increase in property value. they are so rich that they could not care for rental income, and they buy hundreds of houses and let them sit vacant for years.

him: yep! it's all part of agenda 21. don't you know that that is what they're trying to do? they're forcing us into poverty and....

me:oh for gods sake you're not going to rant on about that again are you?

him: are you kidding? how dare you talk to me like that!!

me: ok. are you trying to tell me that the thousands of rich chinese investors are all part of the "illuminati?"

him: what?

me: well they benefit from all this, and if the "illuminati's" agenda is to drive everyone into poverty, they obviously have an exception for those investors ? you say it is a tightly concealed secret, so how many people can be trusted to keep the secret. it's like your hangar 57 clap trap you trot out. all those thousands of people kept the secret did they?

him: no! the media is controlled by the illuminati and they don't let that stuff go to air.

me: so every reporter that got the "information" has kept quiet have they? that means even more people are keeping the secret. the editors are told by the illuminati to shut their reporters up and everyone involved with the suppressed stories are also keeping the secret huh?

him: i'll show you a video on youtube that proves it.
me: it will prove nothing. it is just an opinion of someone who has compiled whatever snippets of information they find suspicious.
him: you really are closed minded aren't you.
me: well i do not let my mind get blown out my ear by the ramblings of people who rabidly froth about their scant stitchings together of anecdotes that are passed from other paranoiacs.

him: how dare you!! !
me: just so.
him: hmmm well watch it will you? and then decide.

then i see the video goes for 61 minutes and i refuse to watch it.

me: no i am tired and you had better go home now.

him: oh right! now you see i am starting to win, you'll pack up your bat and ball and go home huh?

me: i am already home and i never got my bat out in the first place ...luckily for you.

him: don't be a smart arse man!

me: i am telling you to go home now and you will be out the door within 2 minutes do you hear?

him: you really need a hiding. you are an insufferable pr*ck!! !

me: well then don't suffer me. surely you can find some grizzling lackey to preach your stuff to elsewhere!

him: you really do take the cake mate!!

me: yes and i do not like cake anyway. get out now!! !

he will then go because he will not push me past a certain point, and after a few weeks he will ring me and ask to come over and it will happen over again.

he has a strong personality and i have a strong shell.

sorry about this post. it is probably not relevant, but it is only about 3.5 mouse wheel scrolls long.

b9, your "friend" sounds rather annoying.

I know somebody who defines a strong personality as "someone who never needs encouragement or support", and she would only date those types of people.

To clarify for everyone, by strong personality, I mean opinionated, dogmatic, and more importantly, outspoken. I don't mean strong as in the mentally strong, Jack Bauer kind.

Wife and I are both very opinionated, although we also know there are times when it is wiser to keep one's mouth shut. Neither of us wanted a 'pushover' for a partner.


M.

That definition would sum me up quite well.

I don't know where I fall in this but I think it means a straight shooter, to the point. I really hate the shuck and jive people who never let on where they stand. Those types can be strong but they annoy the bejesus out of me and I just don't want to deal with them.

Strong personality or not, if both parties are unwilling to cooperate or allow for differences of opinion and this happens frequently, it makes having a relationship of any kind more difficult.

You can have a strong personality and still know how to respect another person's stance. If, however, you're in a habit of trying to convince the other person you're right and they're wrong, that will no doubt cause problems.

Strong personalities can only work if the two parties are willing to atleast respect one another as individauls and one another's points of view. If that cannot be done than a friendship cannot last. You can have strong opinions and be friends with others with strong opinions, even if the two disagree 100 percent with each other. Its all about mutual respect and the ability to reciprocate with one another in an open minded fashion.