online dating...from chats to serious stuff

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hey all

Sorry if something like this has been posted before but i could do with some feedback. Im on a dating site and have been messaging somebody from overseas. Its all been going quite well learning about each others cultures and interests. We have also had a long 'private' chat online. Im getting a feeling that i really like this person, ive seen her photo and i think she is stunning looking. She likes my sense of humour and seems interested in me but im not sure how to go about telling her how i feel or whether it is a good idea. She does mention that my part of the world is a place she would love to visit so do i invite her over (2hr flight)?...I know it sounds ridiculous but i think im falling for her and when shes online and doesnt leave a message I think she cant be that interested....any advice? thanks in advance x

I am a lesbian but hope that sexual orientation has nothing to do with this scenario.....love is love... peace x

Last edited by keriEFC on 26 May 2010, 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm. If you aren't sure how she'd respond maybe you could raise it in a casual or even a jokey way. I'd just say, "Hey, how'd you like to visit sometime?" next time she mentions it.

hi...i have mentioned it in a jokey way and she has replied in a jokey way that she would visit and its top of her wish list but we've since gone off topic and im not sure how to mention it again. Even though i am interested i dont want to come across as too interested...i feel like ive got to tell her how i feel but dont want to make a fool of myself and mess it up

Patience might bring it around again. Or you could carefully finesse the conversation in that direction. It's so hard to tell without 'being there' whether just being outright honest with your feelings is the right thing to do. It may be! How long have you been chatting for?

not long about a week altogether....but i feel really comfortable chatting with her, i know its only online and its easy to hide behind a computer screen. I feel out of sorts with it all as i get butterflies looking at her pic its bizarre!

Do you ever speak to each other on the phone? That would be a way to get a more direct answer about her coming to visit.

not got around to exchanging numbers yet....i only have a mobile phone as well so phoning overseas could be very expensive. I sometimes think im being ridiculous you know? I never thought it could be possible to feel such a connection with somebody on the internet without ever meeting them. I think Moog is right patience is the key.....Im so goddamn impatient though lol!! !

Since calling international is expensive, you could try talking to her over skype and do some webcaming and stuff. This could give you two a better idea whether you'd really want to meet in person. Cause it makes a difference when chatting thru chat vs. actually talking. I think you two should take it slow before just suddently flying out and visiting each other.

2 hour flight is nothing. Would you have doubts if the person lived 2 hours away with a bus? True, the cost is still expensive, but the reward...

Just dont get your hopes up too much, people you talk to online are usually not quite the same person you end up with at the dinner table IRL.

A week's not a long time, not that there should be any time scale on how soon you meet.