no genuine, intelligent guy would respect me.

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every man i have dated ended up losing interest in me (if it was an actual relationship to begin with) and started keeping me in their company for sexual purposes only. the relationships would start out well.... and then after about a month or so they would realize that i can't hold a conversation or express my thoughts/emotions very well or tell what they are thinking and they'd pass me off as 'stupid' and their respect for me would gradually wane. they would stop calling me or attempting to communicate with me outside of texting/'emailing, they would openly express their disdain for me ("subtle" sarcasm, disagreeing with any statement i make, blowing me off, etc) and the only time we would be together was in situations when we could have sex. this has happened with almost every single relationship i have been in. and then there are the guys who immediately reach the decision within a day of meeting me that i'm only good for sex.
i'm so tired of being used... but at least since my fairly recent diagnosis i have gained a more realistic interpersonal perspective. i didn't know i had AS in the past and i used to VERY naive.

well anyway, i'm fairly intelligent. maybe i'm not a genius but i know i'm as intelligent as all of these guys who think i'm stupid because of the way i interact socially. i can't seem to meet any intelligent guys who are interested in me for more than my body. it's so frustrating!

i have come to the conclusion that the man i am currently "dating" is only trying to fatten me up for the kill. he has sex only on his mind and i am going to start avoiding him now.
here are the reasons why:
-we've known each other for 2 months and been on 5 dates and he still only wants to communicate via email on this stupid dating site. he hasnt even added me on facebook.
-he doesn't seem to listen to anything i'm trying to convey and sounds lethargic in all of his replies
-he cancels our dates almost every other time we arrange to meet up
-the last time we hung out, he was talking to me and staring at my ass/hips/crotch the entire time!
-he asked me if i wanted to call our hang out sessions "dates" and left the question unanswered when i asked him
-he steers the conversation toward sex-related stuff when we talk online and doesn't want to know how i've been or what i've been doing. etc.

i don't expect instant commitment or love, i just want something that feels more fulfilling. i feel like i'm not genuinely respected by anyone or cared about. :rant:
what should i do?

Dump this last guy. ;-/ He sounds like as ass to me.

What should you do? Keep dating. :-/ Eventually you'll find a great guy.

There's no helping it. Some people get lucky and run into a great person fairly easily. Most of us need to meet many many people until we find the one we like.

Date an aspie!
Dump this one and start looking for a guy that meets your intellectual needs. Maybe have a friend you trust help set you up?

Dump him...

Then you have control of the relationship and that will help your self-esteem.
Maybe find a guy who shares your interests. What are your interests???


Even nice guys think about sex a LOT.

Something more fulfilling. What does that even mean?

People don't spiritually 'fuse' into some pink fuzzy amorphous ball of luuuuuuuvvvv, no matter what the romance writers say. There's one person, then there's another person, then there's the sex parts where they connect, then there's stuff they're both interested in, at least some of the time (but honestly, I've rarely met a female who shared any of my interests and when they did, it didn't make us any better a match). That's it.

Ultimately, you look for someone you can trust enough to live in a mutually supportive codependency,so there's somebody around to call 911 when you get old, fall and break a hip or have a heart attack. I don't believe another human being can fulfill you, but I can assure you it's possible to waste years of your life looking for one who can.

Personally, I think finding someone who's open and honest about only being interested in good sex and lots of it, is the better deal. Those are the people who are least likely to use, abuse, hurt and abandon you because they don't want anything else from you.

But all the guys posting replies here seem to be respectful of you...

Guys can be real jerks sometimes & your much better off without guys like that. Not all guys are like that but unfortunately those guys seem to be more actively pursing women maybe because they have more confidence or their only looking for sex so they come on to lots of women IDK. The guys who are not like them usually get noticed much less because they fade in the background & may be more included to start as friends & take things slow. Maybe you could meet a great guy on this site

I respect you.

haha. i agree with that. because in this world there are good people, and there are bad people. the bad people get more relationships because they have no morals, and because of this they make empty promises. however a good person does not lie, so it comes up as this person having less to offer. now there is no way, aspie or nerotypical, to detect these lies. i agree with the guy who said keep dating, because eventualy you will come up with a genuine guy. and maby dating an aspie will help. becaue you can relate better and have a deeper bond but thats my oppinion.

Here's a place to start:
You are breathtakingly beautiful. (I'm not saying anything else til you read that a few more times). It isn't all lying on your surface. When a guy has the balls and takes the time to "see you" he will fall hard for you. Don't allow anyone else to undermine your beauty. You are worth it. You are a hand-crafted piece of art, one that should not be trampled by pigs. Suey!

Here's the problem. A guy who only wants what you can see is helplessly worthless. If he doesn't care who you are, he is shallow. If he is so mentally lazy that he won't even see who you are and "check you out" on a deeper level he isn't even a good friend. It isn't your fault. Really.

I am a highly intelligent guy, genuine, sincere, but unfortunately I'm already taken. I have a high IQ, I program in 14 languages for a security company. If I wasn't married, I would be interested. Even though you have a hard time with feelings, so do I, and I can almost never communicate the way I want to. There are guys like me out there still, so don't give up. You know, men are like parking lots. The good ones are either taken or handicapped.

Here's a litmus test. If any guy likes you in a turtleneck, or a winter coat, and is willing to hang out just for fun, likes talking and laughing all night for no reason, that is your man. As for the other batch of losers you've had to deal with, hang in there. Most guys are like that, unfortunately. There are diamonds in the rough though. I feel for you though, I accidentally found my wife somehow, and if not, I would have major hard times (as a nice guy) being taken advantage of.

I wish I had a brother or clone I could send you so you don't feel this way, sadly I don't. Hang in there friend, it will get better.

It really isn't any better on the male side of the gender fence. There are a lot of really lousy women out there but there are some really good ones. Sometimes you have to dig through a lot of rocks to find a diamond. Even then the diamond still needs to be polished up. All you can do is learn from the bad ones and try again.