The Line

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It seems to me that flirting works somewhat like getting as close to crossing some line as you can without actually crossing it.

I'm not exactly sure where this line is but you have probably crossed this line if a girl slaps you or a guy tells you to go away because "that is creepy and disgusting."

So the question is, where is this line drawn?

There are many ways in which "flirting" manifests itself, but the most "on the edge" I can think of is demonstrating that you've thought of them in a sexual manner in such a way that you somehow manage to make it seem like you're just being fun or silly. If you say something sexually edgy to a woman that may suggest that you are attracted to that woman, but in a manner that suggests you are being funny (that she actually finds funny), then it gives you enough ambiguity to back out as if you were just being funny, while at the same time charming the woman with your humour. I've seen a few socially capable guys do this without appearing to destroy their chances.

This process, for me, is difficult and high-risk, and just given my overall nervous demeanour and nonjudgmental ways that I think I'm known for, I suspect that if I tried to do this with people who know me, it would not be taken as a joke and would just be painful. I like to think of being skilled with it as more of an advantage in flirting than a requirement, and perhaps something that wouldn't work with everyone anyway, and just stay away from overtly sexual language with women.

I would say that to be good at flirting you need to be an absolute master at body language, say something provocative and the you need to look for a reply as well as listen. As aspies we therefore have a problem

Vanilla_Slice

I can't flirt because I don't know how close to get to the line or how to step back if I get too close. I can't flirt mostly because it feels ridiculous.

What'd you do?

What I want to know is how the heck to recognize flirting & who it is directed at. One of the few lines I know about flirting is to make eye contact with the other person, but do not stare very long (I personally had a problem with a guy staring at me for a half hour as I ate a sandwich ).

This is it for the responses?

There is so much fun that could be had with this topic unlike most of threads in this forum.

Most of the responses I have seen so far are talking about verbal flirting even though it's pretty easy to get away with being pretty lewd these days. Some people I have seen do phsical contact pretty early and get away with it. I'm questioning whether flirting has to be subtle at all, maybe getting close enough to being slapped without it happening is easier than we think but it requires being more brash than we think we can get away with. I'm asking for what are the upper limits of what one can get away with. Is there a way to flirt without subtlety?

Is mooning ever an acceptable flirt if timed right? I've heard of Italian guys sometimes pinching random women's butts, would it be funny to cosplay as Super Mario and running around pinching butts or would that get you slapped?

I would think these would get you slapped but I can not say that this would 100% not work.

What'd you do?

I think the line is a restraining order
I don't know where the line is. I apparently sound like I'm flirting with women when I'm just trying to be friendly with em. They end up getting mad cuz they think I'm coming on to em when I knew they wer taken; yet when I'm trying to flirt with single women I somehow come off sounding like a gay friend This is why I'm trying to find someone online; I ran into some problems at work a few times cuz of this I probably should not talk to women offline

My current mood on the line is to just go ahead and cross it's banality in whatever prerogative makes you happy, and see what happens. What the h3ll, eh?

Pregnancy. If it can result in pregnancy, it ain't flirting anymore.