To those of you in successful relationships...

Page 3 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

billsmithglendale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,223

08 Jul 2010, 2:46 pm

Despite my advice here to look for people in similar interest groups (which I still stand by, as it is the best way to get good leads), mine have all been completely random --

Two of them I met in class -- HS and College. It happened to be someone I sat near, we noticed each other in some way, and things snowballed from there. In one case it was a slow burn until we finally got together (she had a BF at the time, but did not later on in the year), and with the other things progressed very quickly.

I met my wife locally, in my neighborhood, on a walk -- we liked what we saw, started talking, and things once again snowballed.

I also had a fling (don't hate me, my marriage is still intact and my wife knows the truth) with the GF of a coworker -- he brought her in one day, we met, she contacted me online the next day, and once again..... ....things snowballed.

And that's it for my successful relationships (ones that go to real intimacy that was reciprocated). I did also date a dorm neighbor in college, but that was a complete disaster for both of us. One of those situations where she was probably just trying to be nice and didn't have the heart (or the sense) to reject me, and it ended with a lot of acrimony and hurt feelings on both sides for the rest of the school year. In fact, even now she won't connect to me on FB, when at least my original ex will.

My general feeling is that lonely people, but especially lonely Aspies, don't meet nearly enough people. Grow the sample size (i.e. meet more people), and the randomness of love (see my examples above) will get you someone.



Dilbert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728
Location: 47°36'N 122°20'W

08 Jul 2010, 2:48 pm

We "met" on eHarmony. Our personalities are freakishly similar.

I dated a lot in real life before we met, and while the looks and common interests were there on such dates, the chemistry and/or common values were not. eHarmony fixed that up and we clicked immediately the first time we spoke on the phone. That was reaffirmed the first time we met in person.