What is your relationship status?

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What is your relationship status?
Single and Looking 23%  23%  [ 90 ]
Single and Looking 23%  23%  [ 90 ]
Single, not Looking 12%  12%  [ 48 ]
Single, not Looking 12%  12%  [ 48 ]
Married 5%  5%  [ 18 ]
Married 5%  5%  [ 18 ]
Engaged 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
Engaged 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
de facto 0%  0%  [ 1 ]
de facto 0%  0%  [ 1 ]
Long term relationship 5%  5%  [ 19 ]
Long term relationship 5%  5%  [ 20 ]
swinger 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
swinger 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
single, but have sex 2%  2%  [ 6 ]
single, but have sex 2%  2%  [ 6 ]
Internet Relationship 2%  2%  [ 9 ]
Internet Relationship 2%  2%  [ 9 ]
Long distance relationship (not internet) 1%  1%  [ 4 ]
Long distance relationship (not internet) 1%  1%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 400

ELLCIM
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20 Apr 2006, 1:29 pm

Tequila wrote:
TigerFire wrote:
Because that's what everyone here has been doing so far when I mention anything about me.


I don't think that's true. It's when you start wallowing in self-pity that people get exasperated with you.


I don't mind any of the wallowing in self-pity. I mean, I do it, and I have tons of sympathy for others like me who have had zero success in the dating world. So, bring on the wallowing! I enjoy reading others' stories, and it is a good method for people to anonymously complain. Complaining makes people feel better, or at least it does for me. Sure beats internalizing, which is what I used to do before I exploded at someone last year after I couldn't hold in my anger any longer.

Nobody needs to be positive all the time. I find omnipresent positiveness a turnoff. I actually prefer being around negative people to SOME degree, because if we're always positive about everything, then we develop false security. We have to constantly be critical of all facets of our lives and society, or else we cannot improve ourselves.

It is not a lie to say that many of us, including myself, complain to get attention. But, that is because some of us here have depression (a common symptom of AS), and it is paramount to anyone who has depression to be able to express themselves to others. Suppressing that only makes them worse - that's what happened to me last year.



ELLCIM
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20 Apr 2006, 1:43 pm

Finally, to reply to the original post, I've been single my whole life obviously, but I haven't been looking constantly.

From the time I turned 14 for about a year and a half (Jan 2000 to July 2001), I wasn't really looking much. Then, I was looking heavily for a bit less than a year (to May 2002). I stopped looking for awhile (during which time I was diagnosed with AS), and didn't start looking again until March 2003, shortly after I turned 17. I was looking to some degree throughout '03, but it wasn't until I turned 18 in 2004 that I began my present level of looking, with a slowdown from about September 2004 to March 2005.



hale_bopp
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20 Apr 2006, 2:32 pm

de facto means living together but not married.



Jonesh
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20 Apr 2006, 3:20 pm

Well, I am single but still hooking up and stuff. The problem is it never lasts beyond a little sex and I (or her, that has happened) break up after a few weeks at most. I can't really keep up the interest and I'm also very picky about who I even choose to hook up with ^^;;;
Luckily, being picky hasn't stopped me from hooking up. But they never seem to be good enough to be with in a longer relationship -_-;
So, I'm single but I have sex ;D

I used to pity myself alot before, but now I've thought about a few thinks and I have realised that selfpitying is quite counter-productive :P
I live a much better life now in general :D

First post BTW, this site seems nice. I've read through most of the articles and such already.

-Jonesh the Swede



Sorce
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20 Apr 2006, 3:37 pm

I'm single and looking. Which is probably my main problem. I look but I don't act.



Nuntar
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20 Apr 2006, 6:51 pm

Pity this poll doesn't allow you to choose two options. How do I select "engaged and in an internet relationship"? (With the same person, I mean........ not cheating on one with the other!)



Laz
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20 Apr 2006, 7:10 pm

Nuntar wrote:
Pity this poll doesn't allow you to choose two options. How do I select "engaged and in an internet relationship"? (With the same person, I mean........ not cheating on one with the other!)


Im in a relationship with someone from Leeds

You could always vote swinger for a laugh (add some flavour to the vote)



Elanivalae
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20 Apr 2006, 10:59 pm

I'm married.



Young_fogey
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20 Apr 2006, 11:46 pm

A relationship just ended so I'm looking again.



emp
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21 Apr 2006, 3:07 am

ELLCIM wrote:
emp wrote:
Tralce wrote:
I'm single and looking. I was in a 144-day relationship that ended cataclysmically.


hmm, I have to wonder if it ended partly because you knew exactly how many days.


Pretty stupid reason to dump someone. Many NT couples anyways know the exact date they started, and they celebrate monthly "anniversaries". And the number of days is easy to calculate in seconds if you know the number of months/years.


If I had a girlfriend who knew exactly how many days we had been together, I would think this creepy. Stalker-girl. Unless she was a maths fan, then it might be acceptable.



Young_fogey
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21 Apr 2006, 10:21 am

Regarding the counting-days thing:

It's not necessarily creepy and can be cute - after all, as has been mentioned, there are normal people who celebrate six-month anniversaries, etc.

And here there can be two standards, one for NTs and one for AS people. Among our people, many of whom are maths savants (I'm not), it would be normal behaviour and, when understood, flattering!



ELLCIM
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21 Apr 2006, 12:10 pm

emp wrote:
If I had a girlfriend who knew exactly how many days we had been together, I would think this creepy. Stalker-girl. Unless she was a maths fan, then it might be acceptable.


I don't see what's creepy about it.



Energy
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21 Apr 2006, 12:21 pm

Im single at the moment, ive had relationships.. one of them even lasted a few years but ultimately Im feeling increasingly less motivated to try and form a relationship. Im just not able to provide the stimulus women are looking for... Im a little too wrapped up in my own world I think :(

really digging out the aging threads now



emp
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21 Apr 2006, 1:40 pm

Young_fogey wrote:
Regarding the counting-days thing:
It's not necessarily creepy and can be cute - after all, as has been mentioned, there are normal people who celebrate six-month anniversaries, etc


Anniversaries of marriages, not of a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Remembering exactly how many days you have been together seems like the behavior of someone who has formed an incorrect or excessively intense type of emotional attachment. Not necessarily, but it seems like that.

Counting the days is like saying to your girlfriend, "I cherish every day that we are together!" You might think that sounds nice, but a statement like that is symptomatic of an broken view of relationships, similar to how saying "I need you" is the wrong attitude in a relationship. The problem with "I cherish every day..." is that if you truly cherish every day of your relationship, then something is wrong with the relationship because in a healthy relationship, there will be at least some days that you do not cherish, it is not all peaches and cream every day.

I realize this might be entirely non-applicable in this case -- I am just speaking in general. What I say above does not necessarily apply in this particular case.

Young_fogey wrote:
And here there can be two standards, one for NTs and one for AS people. Among our people, many of whom are maths savants (I'm not), it would be normal behaviour and, when understood, flattering


I already acknowledged that it is OK for a maths savant/fan. It would also be OK for someone who has a usual habit of counting days for all sorts of things, or a particular interest with dates/times.



blue_bean
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22 Apr 2006, 5:20 am

Single and looking
Not actively hunting but open to someone new :)



paulsinnerchild
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25 Apr 2006, 9:08 am

Single and not looking. Perhaps because I have not not a romantic bone in my body.