A thought on fantasy

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Not particularly a sexual fantasy, but just any image of a potential partner, for any kind of relationship for that matter:

I've heard a lot of people complain about fantasies in a negative way, being repelled by those who have a hard time separating fantasy and reality, etc. I've never really understood why people think having fantasies about people is such a negative thing.

I'm the kind of person who spends a LOT of time in my head. I also spend a lot of time thinking about things that seem perfectly real to me, even though I cannot experience them directly with my senses, and have no choice but to appreciate them mentally, at least if I want to understand their full "glory". For example, molecules. This leads to me having an overactive imagination, which is good for things like science, computer programming, etc., but when applied to relationships it's a bit of a different story.

The other day the following dawned on me--"I like to imagine women who are pretty, not who like to imagine being pretty". I realized there is a kind of asymmetry here, maybe you could even say an unfairness. Essentially, things are easier to imagine than to create in real life, and within my fantasies the girl receives the full "burden" of bridging the gap between fantasy and reality. When I imagine something like an electron, behaving in a highly idealized way, the electron is not imagining me, and so it doesn't matter that I may be dressed in a manner that looks awkward, lying oddly in bed, and with a big gap between my ideal, inner world and how I look on the outside. Now, it's not as if my inner, imagined world doesn't ever help me find or create beauty or value in the real world, but there is a gap to be bridged there that doesn't exist for a beautiful woman, whose beauty already is there on the outside.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but I'm convinced there is something to this, and why sometimes us dreamy people have trouble finding partners, or get accused of feeling entitled.

A fantasy is a dream land where anything can happen. In my mind right now, for example, I'm flying a Lamborghini to the moon. But if you expect fantasies to be anything like reality, that's where the trouble starts - because the world just dosen't work that way, much to our misfortune.

Use fantasies to live out a dream life and stuff, it can be great fun, but don't expect what works in fantasy to work in real life, that's all. If you do want your fantasies to parallel real life, you need to make your fantasies realistic and take things like you brought up in that post into consideration (so don't imagine a perfect beautiful women).

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Reading your post I remember a thought I use in my next book (The Opposite Of Magic): Oftentimes fictional stories are more true than the real... You are absolutely right, it often happens dreamy people couldn't find a mate easy...
I remember also an event from my childhood that was probably the reason why I still haven't found the girl of my dreams. When i was about 10 years old I saw a girl with long, amazing, light-auburn hair...So great, that her appearance helped me to create the perfect image of the mermaids from my 1st book Tale of The Rock Pieces... Girls with such hair had amazing powers, besides their hair couldn't get wet no matter for how long they stayed underr water ...
I've never met this girl again, I guess I didn't find at least similar to her through the years... that's why probably I'm still single... Hope now, when my book is published, I could find her or alike?
But on the other hand dreaming could be a great experience, I guess everyone would agree? Many of dreamy people wouldn't change their dreamy experiences for any other real event? Best wishes to all fans of fantasy! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (a greeting of the water dragons' hunters).