Any advice or observations will help

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Let's start with the backstory. So my friend dated this girl for like 2 years. I became quite good friends with her. I met her sister once for about 10 minutes. Well they eventually broke up. And I didn't see her again. A few months ago I started talking to her sister on facebook. We made plans do to stuff together but it took a while for anything to come of it. She told me that she remembered me from the 10 mins we were together.

Anyway her sister, my friends ex, works near me and I went to see her for the first time in like two years. We connected really well and we hung out a few times and it turns out we really love each other like a brother sister kinda thing. I finally did a couple things with her sister and I get along with her really well and im comfortable around her which is rare for me.

First problem is some people know how I feel about my friends ex. And they think I'm only trying to date her sister because, I love her but I can't have her since she's married. But like I said I only love her as a sister.

My second problem is after hanging out with the one I'm actually romantically interested in, I tried maybe a little too hard to get us to do stuff. And I had real bad few days and told her about. And then I apologized for sending her texts about what I did and for telling her in the first place.
She only responded telling me, I don't get that I'm not the only one with problems. Their dad killed himself a few years ago and the whole family is still pretty messed up from it. I told her I may not understand the pain she's been thru, but I still understand what it's like to feel hurt. I explained the trouble I've had with making and keeping friends. And just my overall depression and lonliness.

Now I think it was a bad idea to compare our circumstances. I really want to explain in further detail to her what I meant and that I didn't mean to compare the two. And explain my lonliness and why I pushed too hard to hang out. I just told her i think we need to talk and to call me when she wants.

I'm sure we'll work it out. Afterall, her sister is now like my best friend. I really don't care if we form a serious romantic relationship. I just want her as a friend. We just have so much in common and get along so well. I might have to get her sister to help me, but I don't know yet.

If you just want her as a friend, perhaps it's best to be honest and just be friends? I know I would have preferred if my ex had done that, rather than confusing the hell out me by pretending otherwise. I found it very insulting when I found out afterwards he'd just wanted to be friends the whole time (I was putting in all the effort you would for a serious romantic relationship). As a result, there was no way I wanted to be friends afterwards.

I'm not surprised she's angry if she thinks you're comparing circumstances. I think apologising for comparing her family's problems with yours may be a good idea. I'm not saying you don't have problems; you do, and they are valid, just sometimes you just have to be stronger and realise that it's best not to share everything. Right now, she probably can't handle your stress on top of everything else in her life.

I wouldn't advise trying to use her sister as a go between; that's a bit unfair on both of them.

You're overthinking -- it sounds like you are on a good track. Just do what comes natural, don't overthink, don't force, and things will go where they are supposed to.