Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

My self-esteem dealt a blow today....

Page 1 of 2 [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 7:52 pm

While I was on the dating site OKCupid, I decided to go through a trial in which my profile pictures are paired and compared to profile pictures of other people. Once the trial was over, I discovered that 12 out of 25 people chose me over the other, and 13 out of 25 did not. To be fair, though, I only had two pictures, and one of my pictures was much more well-received than the other. Do you think my poor-ish scores may have something to do with the fact that I only had two pictures of myself?



Peko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,381
Location: Eastern PA, USA

13 Jul 2010, 7:55 pm

Uhh... you almost had a 50/50 split. You're average, which is just fine :wink:


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


bewarethebob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 627

13 Jul 2010, 8:00 pm

peko is right.
hits are hits.



conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns

13 Jul 2010, 8:01 pm

Peko wrote:
Uhh... you almost had a 50/50 split. You're average, which is just fine :wink:


+1

Post a few more pictures and see what happens.

Besides, only 25 people viewed your photos. That's hardly a representative sample.


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17


Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 8:47 pm

conundrum wrote:
Peko wrote:
Uhh... you almost had a 50/50 split. You're average, which is just fine :wink:


+1

Post a few more pictures and see what happens.

Besides, only 25 people viewed your photos. That's hardly a representative sample.


Thanks for the advice....but I can't help but worry that most of the people who did choose me only chose me because I was simply the less unattractive one. :?



zena4
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,054

13 Jul 2010, 9:01 pm

Sometimes, it's best to be the less unattractive one.
At least it's better than being the uglier one.

It's easier.



Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind

13 Jul 2010, 9:32 pm

post pics here?


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl


Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 9:45 pm

Sedaka wrote:
post pics here?


I didn't really find it necessary at first, but I guess it couldn't hurt.

Image

[img][800:768]http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/Mathew_2010/100_1292.jpg[/img]

^ this is the pic of me that did better than the other



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

13 Jul 2010, 9:49 pm

To be honest, even Johnny Depp couldn't post there and get 25/25. I don't see why your self esteem is affected because people pretty much voted you as a normal person.

Even if none chose you you might have been compared to the same 3 muscle men all of those 25 times.

You can't pass judgement until you know who you're being compared to.

If I posted there and got 12 or 13 out of 25 I would be stoked. You never know who you're being compared against.



Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 9:56 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
To be honest, even Johnny Depp couldn't post there and get 25/25. I don't see why your self esteem is affected because people pretty much voted you as a normal person.

Even if none chose you you might have been compared to the same 3 muscle men all of those 25 times.

You can't pass judgement until you know who you're being compared to.

If I posted there and got 12 or 13 out of 25 I would be stoked. You never know who you're being compared against.


Actually, I did get to see who I was being compared against.



Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind

13 Jul 2010, 10:05 pm

they look fine to me. both are similar and the small one kind of squishes your face.


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

13 Jul 2010, 10:09 pm

Descartes wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
To be honest, even Johnny Depp couldn't post there and get 25/25. I don't see why your self esteem is affected because people pretty much voted you as a normal person.

Even if none chose you you might have been compared to the same 3 muscle men all of those 25 times.

You can't pass judgement until you know who you're being compared to.

If I posted there and got 12 or 13 out of 25 I would be stoked. You never know who you're being compared against.


Actually, I did get to see who I was being compared against.


What did they look like?



Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 10:09 pm

Sedaka wrote:
they look fine to me. both are similar and the small one kind of squishes your face.


Thanks. I was also thinking that I looked extremely pale in the smaller picture. :?



Science_Guy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 506

13 Jul 2010, 10:13 pm

12 out of 25 isn't that bad. Your profile on here also says you're a guy so you shouldn't even worry about your looks. A girl will date an ugly guy way before a guy will date an ugly girl.



Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind

13 Jul 2010, 10:21 pm

try pics of you doing something you like to do.


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl


Descartes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,288
Location: Texas, unfortunately

13 Jul 2010, 10:24 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
What did they look like?


Most of the guys I won against ranged from being average themselves to not being very attractive at all. I did manage to beat out one guy whom I even considered to be pretty attractive, and given the choice between myself and him, I would have chosen him.

Science_Guy wrote:
12 out of 25 isn't that bad. Your profile on here also says you're a guy so you shouldn't even worry about your looks. A girl will date an ugly guy way before a guy will date an ugly girl.


Actually, I was being judged by other guys.