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Travell
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18 Jun 2009, 5:48 pm

(I'm black) I've noticed that i'm more attracted to white women and latino women than black and asian women. For some reason when I like a white girl and talk to her, she thinks im all cool at first and all of that stuff, but then like after 2 days she starts to think Im weird and doesnt wanna talk to me. But when I talk to a black girl I have no interest in, it seems that she accepts me as a person, and if she did like me in the beginning, she continues liking me and accepts my quirks too. But the problem will be that i dont like that black girl, i like tha white girl. I like the white girl when she was nice and I still like her when she thinks im weird. its just because i like her.
It seems that most pretty white girls tend to think something is weird very quick. as for black girls, they dont give the impression that something is weird. White girls that are unattractive, or almost average, they tend to be down to earth too.
I've noticed that light skinned black girls have the tendency to think my quirks are weird as well.

Is it a light skin thing. latino girls do the same. so do asian and middle eastern girls that are pretty.
Does an attractive women that has light skin, makes her weirded out by a lot of stuff.
Why do beautiful white women act that way.
(Does it have anything to do with the way i may present myself to a woman i feel attracted to?)(am i more relaxed around darker women?)(or are women with light skin stuck up?)
Also, attractive dark skinned black women are for the most part down to earth.



RarePegs
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18 Jun 2009, 6:14 pm

I think it sounds like emotional transference. Lets say you are at your most anxious around those who attract you. This anxiety is transferred to them. Conversely, you are comfortable around those who do not attract you so much, therefore you transfer comfortable feelings to them. I think it's particularly common and severe with Aspies. This could mean either (a) being purposely attracted to the unavailable through fear of following through after acceptance or (b) assuming that anyone to whom you are attracted must therefore be unavailable. Either way, the equation is transferable between any parameters of attraction.



sgrannel
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18 Jun 2009, 6:55 pm

There's a principle of relationships that says greatest negotiating power is derived from having least interest. Could your attraction to some women signal that they have the power and that you are dealing from a weaker position?

Or maybe the down-to-earth women who don't think you're weird are receiving less attention from others and so are more likely to appreciate your attention. Could you learn to see their merits and thereby become attracted to them? I've noticed that older people in general are easier to talk to and less judgmental than young people, on average.


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Travell
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19 Jun 2009, 12:50 am

You guys are right. There has been this girl emailing me, who magically got my email. i dont know how she did, but she was from the Spain trip I went on. She was not attractive at all, and none of the guys talked to her. She was very sweet. She was also alittle insecure because no one gave her the time of day.

She talked about a lot of the attractive guys not being cute at all. she was just mad because she wasnt getting attention from them. I talked to her because she was cool and because she was nice to me. She is also down to earth. But I wasnt attracted to her.This girl is also white btw, and alittle overweight. she doesnt wear makeup, she has curly dirty blonde hair and wears glasses.
She was the sweetest thing in the world. her personality. but the pretty girls that all the guys liked were not like this, they were jerks to me.

Sometimes people look at me like "Why is he even talking to that ugly girl?". Just because im a goodlooking guy.

how come girls who wont accept my quirks, look at me all strange when i talk to unattractive girls who are down to earth?



sgrannel
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20 Jun 2009, 1:04 pm

Curly dirty blond hair? Sounds like you are at least a little attracted to her. Emphasis on the word "dirty" Hehe! Go for her.

Don't let her show of interest make her seem less attractive to you. Could all those hard-to-get girls seem more attractive than they really are just because of their apparent lack of interest? Try to undo any effect that the principle of least interest may be having on you.


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A boy and his dog can go walking
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A boy and a dog can be happy sitting down in the woods on a log
But a dog knows his boy can go wrong


Wombat
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22 Jun 2009, 3:18 am

Sorry if I annoy anyone but I feel that people have a better chance when they stick to "your own kind".

Your own kind?

That means the same race/nationality/educational level and social class.

You are better off with "the girl next door" because she was raised to have the same values and expections as you do.



UnrelentingHorror
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22 Jun 2009, 4:17 am

I disagree wombat.
Though if we look to sociology we see a higher correlation of relationships with these things that is also from a number of other factors.

I think his big problem is one alot of us get at times. He gets anxious around the people he really likes and they not only pick up on it but its also affecting how hes acting and talking negatively so its like this harsh double-whammy kinda deal.

So no travell there is no genetic predisposition relating to skin color for any behaviour. You just gotta start learning whatever mental tricks help you to manage your anxiety better and just do what needs to be done.
Your going to be attracted to certain things thats just a fact. No need to over think that aspect of things.
Work on yourself a little bit while getting to know some more lovely looking people and you'll be out there having fun in no time I predict.



PatientZero
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22 Jun 2009, 6:50 am

Wombat wrote:
Sorry if I annoy anyone but I feel that people have a better chance when they stick to "your own kind".

Your own kind?

That means the same race/nationality/educational level and social class.

You are better off with "the girl next door" because she was raised to have the same values and expections as you do.


What if the girl is born in the same country has the same educational level and social class but a different race?
It isn't as black and white as you're making it, there's always something else to it that changes everything.



Travell
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22 Jun 2009, 10:06 am

but why is it that when I act weird around the girl i dont like, she doesnt care, but the girl i do like she thinks im weird and is turned off.



MDD123
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22 Jun 2009, 11:36 am

Well, I'm starting to think you're a magnet. If you are attracted towards somone, they move away, if you're just being polite enough for them to get away, they move towards you.

Attractive women might see this and become confused, they might not understand why such a quirky man can seem so natural around someone and may feel insecure or jealous.

In many ways we are similar, although I am not Black, we share similar tastes. Your quirkyness is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it tells the world you are different from all the others, my quirkyness gives me a feeling of individuality and I can take pride in that, too much pride could be a turn off, but so could too much shame, there is a balance and it will take time to find. You are 18 and I am 25, when I was 18 I did not have the capacity to even ask the questions you are asking, you are on the right track.

I don't mean to sound racist, but white women tend to expect more, you've noticed this is somewhat true. I think that in order to get some of the more attractive ones, you'll have to rise well above your white peers, this is an unfair reality, but I have the same struggle sometimes myself even though I'm white. I find women of middle east and latina descent to be the most attractive and non demanding groups. This isn't 100% accurate, but you have noticed a pattern here and unfortunately, the average pretty blonde white girl is harder to please simply because she's been taught to think everyone is out to please her. This should not stop you from obtaining what you want however, I just believe that you will face a challenge that many are unwilling to face. You seem very willing though and I think that you will end up with what you want in the end.



Travell
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22 Jun 2009, 11:54 am

MDD123 wrote:
Well, I'm starting to think you're a magnet. If you are attracted towards somone, they move away, if you're just being polite enough for them to get away, they move towards you.

Attractive women might see this and become confused, they might not understand why such a quirky man can seem so natural around someone and may feel insecure or jealous.

In many ways we are similar, although I am not Black, we share similar tastes. Your quirkyness is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it tells the world you are different from all the others, my quirkyness gives me a feeling of individuality and I can take pride in that, too much pride could be a turn off, but so could too much shame, there is a balance and it will take time to find. You are 18 and I am 25, when I was 18 I did not have the capacity to even ask the questions you are asking, you are on the right track.

I don't mean to sound racist, but white women tend to expect more, you've noticed this is somewhat true. I think that in order to get some of the more attractive ones, you'll have to rise well above your white peers, this is an unfair reality, but I have the same struggle sometimes myself even though I'm white. I find women of middle east and latina descent to be the most attractive and non demanding groups. This isn't 100% accurate, but you have noticed a pattern here and unfortunately, the average pretty blonde white girl is harder to please simply because she's been taught to think everyone is out to please her. This should not stop you from obtaining what you want however, I just believe that you will face a challenge that many are unwilling to face. You seem very willing though and I think that you will end up with what you want in the end.


I don't think you sound racist at all.
I have seen so many black guys who are attracted to beautiful white women. They either end up with no white woman or an unattractive one.
Its also seems like beautiful white women like really dark black men (ugly or not), or just ugly black men. It feels like the only time an attractive black man like me, that isn't burnt black or ugly, can get a white woman is if he's famous or it is known that he has a lot of money. Attractive black men usually end up with unattractive white women. idk why that is.
Also its hard to be what a white woman wants. you dont know if she wants a gangster or a smart intelligent hardworking black man who has a future. I have had this one white girl who was beautiful, have her sister tell me to leave her alone. The girl that i liked kinda looked at me and looked away. i dont think she wanted to talk to me. but one day i started a new semester in school and i had a class with her, she found out I was smarter than her and I have a 4.0 gpa and in the IB program a program higher than her, and she began to talk to me nonstop. (im talking about the girl i like, not her stupid sister), and then I would correct her and she would love every second of it. im not saying he liked me cuz idk, but it seemed like when she found out that i wasnt some ignorant lazy nigga trying to get into her pants, and i actually had a future, she was more attracted.

ther's nothing wrong with that, but u think she should have gave me a chance when i was trying to talk to her. maybe she was shy, maybe she wasnt sure if i was just some dumb ignorant stereotypical guy.
This is why i believe black men have so much trouble getting attractive white women. but when an attractive black man is successful, like a doctor or something, the beautiful white women will be all over him, along with all the other types of women, b4 they go for the asian, white, middle eastern or, latino male doctor.
I have heard that black men are the most masculine appearing men because they are so dark and muscular. and white women are far from masculine so opposites attract. but it seems that the masculinity doesnt matter if you are dumb or dont have a job, and many times from my experiences I feel they prejudge me that way.



Travell
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22 Jun 2009, 12:45 pm

This is the absolute ideal beautiful white girl:
Image
Image



CrinklyCrustacean
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22 Jun 2009, 12:47 pm

^ Miss Photoshop! :P



j5689
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22 Jun 2009, 3:30 pm

I was gonna say, I wish we could switch places so you could attract white girls and I could attract black girls, but since you say you have trouble with light-skinned black girls too then nevermind because that's all I want, lol.

I know how you feel though.



MDD123
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22 Jun 2009, 3:56 pm

Travell wrote:
This is the absolute ideal beautiful white girl:
Image
Image


Nice! She's pretty hot, her eyes tell me that she wants you to notice her attractivness without being obvious about it. This is simply my interpretation.

You should have no reason to feel any shame about your character. You seem motivated towards improvment, but are more than willing to enjoy the vices that other men enjoy. The mistake that many men make is to let their vices be an example of who they are. Gangster rap sells an image of strong self respect but little regard towards others. It also puts vices such as drugs and sex on a higher level than some people like. This can give you a hard time maintaining a positive image when trying to rise above your peers. Shunning the basic things you like will allow people to typecast you into a very rigid non-emotional person. This is appealing at first, mostly because of the negative racial stereotypes that many people have. But on a level of attraction, it will eventually turn prospects away.

I show the world a positive image of myself, but I'm not ashamed of bringing up what I like. I personally have natural urges that I slowly reveal over time to the right people (not to come onto them but to demonstrate that I'm as capable of loving as I am of working). I also love smoking pot to unwind, I'll let anyone know that because I'm not ashamed of what I use to deal with stress. Many other people use pot themselves and are often ashamed to admit it. I''m not trying to say shame is a bad thing, but at some point you'll have to let the other gender know that you don't hold onto your shame.

I can reccomend the tao ti ching, the art of seduction, and the 48 laws of power if you want to reference ways to express yourself better and improve interactions. I've also heard a rumor that german girls are notoriously attracted to black men, they don't see too many and I hear the red carpet is rolled out over there. A friend who visited england told me that american accents are an aphrodesiac to the locals there and that women are quick to notice a foreigner's voice. Either way, there's tons of blondes and really good odds, I personally like burnetts better, but I can see the attraction to blondes. You might just want to tread carefully so you don't end up in a committment too fast, 18 is way too young to get hitched, I hope you have fun though.