Anti-soulmates
This is what my boyfriend said to me the other day.
"We aren't soulmates. We are like... anti-soulmates."
I do feel that he is right.
I try and try to understand him, but the fact is I never completely will because I'm NT.
He probably won't completely understand me either.
Any other AS/NT couples feel like this?
I told him we're like two stars orbiting each other.
It feels nicer than "anti-soulmates".
the imagery you offer is beautiful
but do you not deep down feel great sadness?
_________________
www.chrisgoodchild.com
"We are here on earth for a little space to learn to bear the beams of love." (William Blake)
Thank God for science, but feed me poetry please, as I am one that desires the meal & not the menu. (My own)
Things never seem to go easy with us. It's heavenly for a week and hell for a few days before it gets good again.
At least it's not boring...?
Chris Rock said that those were the best relationships. In reality, you guys are soul mates because like I said, soul mates are plenty and you have met somewhere in a past life. This will never be a stable relationship, you shouldn't be together but it will be a nice ride.
the attraction of emotional unavailability
soon wears off when ones self worth
gets stronger.
Soul mates are only really found
when the intensity of 'push n pull'
abates.
In my own persnal experience only in
stillness can my own soul and a
significant other be really heard,
respected, and enjoyed together.
Wishing you well.....YOU desreve it
as much as he does.
Chris.
_________________
www.chrisgoodchild.com
"We are here on earth for a little space to learn to bear the beams of love." (William Blake)
Thank God for science, but feed me poetry please, as I am one that desires the meal & not the menu. (My own)
I read in a Dr Phil relationships book that people do not have to be soul mates or like the same things or even do hobbies together, to be able to have a very long and happy relationship. I found it very useful as a lot of relationships books say for a good relationship you must understand each other really well and that sort of thing so it was a breath of fresh air. I will put a link incase you are interested in it.
http://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Resc ... 319&sr=8-1
It seems wisdom can come from many unlikely sources, from Dr.Phil to Chris Rock
Thanks guys.
It helps to think that there isn't one single way for relationships to be correct.
I think I've been getting closer to achieving this inner stillness that you talk about criss.. I'm just not completely there yet.
Today was a tough day.
My boyfriend is still in withdrawl / or is mad at me. If he's mad, I'm not sure what it is, and he won't tell me.
The project I'm on at work hit a big roadblock, so that sucked.
I asked to see him tonight because I needed a hug after a hard day, and because I won't have a chance to see him for a while - I have a 4 day trip with some girlfriends.
He said no, he'll see me when I get back.
He needs what he needs, so I'll put on hold what I need.
Do AS people understand that emotional needs are needs too? Are you just unable to help with these needs even when you recognize them?
When he gets me sad, it's hard for me to tell if I'm with him for some sick sense of martyrdom or whether I'm with him ....um... lets see... for what? Clearly not happiness, not right now. For the future?
The only word that comes close right now is 'For Truth'.
Because I love him and he loves me, therefore we should be together.
I suppose that is truth.
Anyway. That's my blurb for today. Hope you guys don't mind me using this thread as a sort of vent.
I tried talking to my friend about it but I started feeling like I was always dragging down her mood.
You know how us NTs always need to talk
Thanks guys.
It helps to think that there isn't one single way for relationships to be correct.
I think I've been getting closer to achieving this inner stillness that you talk about criss.. I'm just not completely there yet.
Today was a tough day.
My boyfriend is still in withdrawl / or is mad at me. If he's mad, I'm not sure what it is, and he won't tell me.
The project I'm on at work hit a big roadblock, so that sucked.
I asked to see him tonight because I needed a hug after a hard day, and because I won't have a chance to see him for a while - I have a 4 day trip with some girlfriends.
He said no, he'll see me when I get back.
He needs what he needs, so I'll put on hold what I need.
Do AS people understand that emotional needs are needs too? Are you just unable to help with these needs even when you recognize them?
When he gets me sad, it's hard for me to tell if I'm with him for some sick sense of martyrdom or whether I'm with him ....um... lets see... for what? Clearly not happiness, not right now. For the future?
The only word that comes close right now is 'For Truth'.
Because I love him and he loves me, therefore we should be together.
I suppose that is truth.
Anyway. That's my blurb for today. Hope you guys don't mind me using this thread as a sort of vent.
I tried talking to my friend about it but I started feeling like I was always dragging down her mood.
You know how us NTs always need to talk
ask him to write down whats making him cross if he wont tell you.
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