How to find AS women?

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So I'm fairly certain I'd be far more comfortable in a relationship with an AS woman than an NT one. A few days back I met an AS girl and instantly felt comfortable around her in a way I'm not with NTs, and we had a lot in common. Fingers crossed I can at least be friends with her, hopefully more...

Anyway, how would an AS man seeking AS women go about finding them (in case I can't get anywhere with this delightful lady)? They aren't exactly common...

Dating sites, or place an add in a science mag.

Or you could go asking about nerdy stuff until you find a girl who likes that too

Maybe... here? There's an eligible odd bod thread up there, you could look at ^

Or, in real life, perhaps aspie groups and meets? Or places where women with nichey interests might go... there's a good possibility some of them might be.

My advice to you is not to dismiss a relationship with an NT straight out of hand.. NT/AS relationships have issues, definitely, but AS/AS relationships also have issues (just different ones). Take it from someone who's tried both.

If you've met this girl, and you think you might have a chance, then keep the possibility open, but don't limit yourself - trust me, big mistake a lot of AS guys make...

what exactly do you mean by limiting yourself ?.

one limits them self if they say "I only wanna date aspies" and many men here do that, convinced that NT's are all the same and boring and stuff
I limit myself to NTs but they are so much more common, I mean I've met less then 5 aspie girls IRL and I didn't like any of them so its no huge loss

If you go into a relationship with expectations, it won't work out. It doesn't matter what the expectations are, it is doomed to fail. So if you think that AS women are better...they aren't. There was a time when I thought any women besides American women would be good, and I was wrong. What you need is someone that has things in common with you, and a diagnosis will not achieve that. Maybe you will meet an AS girl that doesn't know she has it, and you would miss out because of it.

Now, sexual preferences are a whole different category, because people can't control their height, or their skin color, or how long their legs are. It's not so much the control, but that those things never change. You could make Michael Jackson references here, but still...

I agree with Mindslave, and I think you should think what made you comfortable at the time. I think I would be terrified to meet an AS woman, my apparent mysteries were a set of tools I used, I would feel naked!
I don't believe in the absolute duality AS/NT, it is a very wide and smooth spectrum and understanding is not synonym of AS. The same way, understanding is not synonym of forgiving...
There are many good girls that are beyond the stereotype of the clueless blond shopping bot. And as Kilroy said: you would be narrowing your hunting ground by a lot.

I have yet to meet an aspie girl (I may have but I wouldn't know, its the most hidden thing on earth)

Behind closed doors and the faint glow of computer screens.

Hey we do go out... you know, sometimes.

Just like finding an AS guy, leave a trail of platonic solids and they will follow it.

This is good advice (less so, however, if you're concerned about turning off NTs in the process).

I thought I'd answer the question, but then I thought that I could not extrapolate my own experiences and proclivities to other Aspergian females, so I went with a different approach:

Where to meet and and how to spot an elusive Kaybee:
-A bookstore. She's the one who went alone and has a gigantic stack of books, which she handles lovingly. The books are probably not typical fare: Books on languages, history, social sciences; books which are considered classics or which are obscure; comic books.
-The supermarket. She's the one who is there alone with a basket full of healthy food and, sometimes, alcohol. She is avoiding getting too close to or looking at the other patrons.
-A quiet, scenic spot in town, such as a park. She is alone and is either walking/riding her bike quietly or sitting with a book. She may be visibly distracted by local fauna, watching insects and other animals rather than humans.
-A social gathering of a mutual acquaintance, especially a variety which involves games (video games, board games, card games). She'll be easily spotted in such a gathering because she will be the one who's female.
-Here. She is the one called "Kaybee" who carries a foxy image with her wherever she goes.

If you speak to her, she is likely to be startled. Approach with caution and don't make any large sudden sounds or movements. Don't touch her--she might take this as an act of aggression. Have something to say--empty greetings will only make her cagey, but she can be quite receptive to words with substance and/or humor.

I believe this is what people mean when they say, "You're not trying to be her friend, you're trying to be in her friend zone."



Speak for yourself.

exactly, thank you
finally someone understands what that term means

Are AS women really all that different than NT women? Like Kaybee mentioned, they are more likely to be alone than traveling in packs. They are likely more difficult to get to know and find some common interest to talk about unless you are already there doing the same thing. I would think it would be more difficult for an AS man to get together with an AS woman tbh out in the real world. Overall, I would think an AS woman is looking for the same things that an NT woman is looking for. And since a NT guy is going to find it easier to approach and make a connection with a AS girl, I think the odds are weighed more heavily towards that guy getting the girl. Some NT girls think your awkwardness and eccentricities are attractive. Helping you through your difficult moments feeds into the whole female nurturing thing and likely strengthens the relationship. While two AS people might understand where each is coming from better once the relationship is established, I think the chances of ever getting there are remote at best. Maybe, sites like this help if two people hit it off, but then you have the whole distance thing to work through.