oh, you have a boyfriend?

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So i was canvassing at comic-con 2010, and I ran into my best friends gal, and her friend.

after some ridiculous talk with them, we began to prance around in steampunk outfits and ask people to get all up on them.

her friend was really awesome with me, and really cool! we kinda hit off some great dialouge. Eventually she left for an unexplained reason.

I talked to my best friend's gal, and she informed me she had a boyfriend.
I just said bummer and forgot about it.

Now here is the real tricky part. We talked some more. I know we will talk more still in the future. so I figured, I should just get it out of the way and express my intrest while saying that i wont rip her away from he BF.

she responded well. and the other day we talked again. she messaged me on FB, and we rambled about random funny s**t for almost an hour. then she said "ok serious time. if this is going to continue you can fall in love with me."

I little taken aback, I told her I wasnt intrested in a relationship due to the fact she probably had a real awesome boyfriend.
I told her not to worry about it, and just relax, take it a step at a time, and we will see what happens.

we made a deal, and she went to bed.


Is it intresting or odd that she ask a question like that? Ive already mentioned I dont have an intrest in her, or an intrest in getting her away from her unnamed BF. Im perfectly content being friends.

so really, Is it intresting that she say something so straightforward?

interesting

Girls tend to like messing with guys heads and joke around a lot. It sounds like she might have been kidding. You never know with girls these days. Sarcasm is a big part of their personalities.

Couldn't agree more.

Shows how much people think about themselves.

The story of my life. Every time I try to let a girl know I really like them, they either say they're already taken or that I'm not good enough for them.

Tim (aka the unloved, unwanted, heartbroken and worthless Slipperman)

im sure you arent worthless tim.
just dont get friends listed. work at it. youll get a gal


In any case, Its just odd to me because it is true that every guy she became friends with liked her at some point. Ive known a handful of other women like this, and kind fell for one before. So, yeah. I can see why this would be serious. Im just not sure how careful i should be if i joke about that.

unfortunately, it sounds like you are her backup, just in case things don't work out with her boyfriend. there was an episode of 'how i met your mother' about that:

http://howimetyourmotherstreaming.com/s ... 16-hooked/

once there is such a strong expression of real attraction, it could be really hard to close the door. it sounds like you two had good chemistry, and there aren't many ways that this could end well, unless you are comfortable being a catalyst in a breakup. not that you could ever *cause* it to happen, but you could be a factor in it. or you could end up falling hard for her and ultimately unsatisfied if she stays attached to her boyfriend. or she could decide to cheat (emotionally or physically) to be with you.

best case scenario is that you stay friends for now, but it already sounds like feelings are brewing.

this does sound interesting. It also does sound that you are considered "her backup." I know that we all want our cake and eat it too, so perhaps she found you as really nice and cool and whatever, but since she's in this relationship right now, she still wants to be friends with you in case your friendship becomes better than the relationship she's in now.

EDIT: Basically, one of the main reasons people cheat is to see if there's something better out there than what they have now, because they'll settle for what they have now but they don't want to end up with nothing. Now I'm not saying she's cheating, but eventually you would have to give her an ultimatum if you felt that she was getting too close/intimate with you, as you don't want to loose her but you also don't want her to give herself to another man.

Last edited by jdcnosse on 29 Jul 2010, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

EXACTLY! thanks for explaining this so well. sometimes i use a lot of words without getting to a point lol.

of course, there's always the possibility that your relationship with her will never be greater than her relationship with her current boyfriend... (sorry to be pessimistic, just stating the facts lol)

If that ever happened I think I would just accept it, because it is easier to find someone new than to loose a friend. Not to mention if you did fall in love with her, you could always love each other as friends...

yeah, i guess so, as long as he is content in that possibility. i've had that experience, and it drove me to near-obsession with my friend. i was never happy in the friend zone.

wait, I'm confused. If she's your best friend's gal, isn't she your best friend's GF?

i think he meant like his best friend's friend

the girl in question is his best friend's gal's friend. Or at least that's what I took from the situation

YOU GET IT!
it my best friends gal's friend. the friend of my best friends gal.

in any case,
that whole backup thing is a possibility, but i wont rely on that. the guy she is with is actually quite nice, and from what i hear is pretty awesome.
Im fine with being friends, but ive been upfront that i only want friends. the romantic aspect has been edgy with us, and i think she felt it too, but at the same time, i think it is best she stay with her NT guy. he knows what he is doing, and they got a good thing going. im not about to mess it up.

oddly enough, we touched on that tonight, got a bit of hype, made rules that we cant hang alone together [must always be with friends], and she and i talked about other women. We talked about meeting a single awesome person, and she hooked me up with a friend of hers.

[this is getting complex.]
so, my best friends gal has a friend this thread is about.
my best friends gal friends, gal friends, friend, is who i was introduced to.

apparently after a few hour of talking to her, ive gathered she is fairly reclusive and odd. I dig it. Ill see what happens with that. we are going to meet up with some friends in a few days. ill post to update whats going on with that. [right now its all online with this new gal]

so, after some edgey talk about this new gal with my best friends gal's friend, we all broke off and went to bed.

new gal doesnt seem to be too intrested, but also seems like she know how to take intrest. we will see.

from now on, my best friends gal is called X
the best friend's gal's friend is called Y [which the thread is about]
and the new gal is called Z



sound good?

X introduced me to Y, Y and I hit it off, Y has a BF, me and Y decided it best to not go that path, Y and I have edgey talk and she asks if im a virgin [or have ever been in love], and in the end i am introduced to Z, who talks online with me for a few hours.

make sense?