Is sex only for two people who love each other?

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Is sex only for two people who love each other?

I ask in response to this post on another site which I don't agree with. Basically he argues that sex is only for two people who are in love and that wanting sex outside that context leads to sexist attitudes.


Help Aspergers Son Have Sex

by Zach (Site Admin) on June 21, 2010

in Mail Bag

So the mother of what I presume to be an adult with Aspergers wrote in asking for help on getting her son with Aspergers to get some. Yes literally, she wants help to get sex for her son. Frankly I am quite disturbed by this request, and I do wonder if it is a troll or a real mother, however lets give her the benefit of the doubt. She wrote in requesting help to get her son some sex:

i am the mother of craig who is 28 and has high functioning aspergers, he wants to experience sex but im not sure how to go about this for him, any ideas.

thankyou

carol

I’m going to give an answer she was not hoping for but I feel that due to my moral code its the answer I’m going to have to give. Sex is for two people who deeply love each other, and it involves a lot of risks (STD’s, pregnancy, being seen naked, etc) and requires a lot of trust between both partners. Sex is not something that should be used as a fling to meet an ‘itch’. I really think you should help your son pursue meaningful relationships – not pursue sex. Teaching him to pursue sex will give him the wrong idea about relationships, about woman and could damage him and future relationship possibilities even more.

Now I’m sure your saying, “My son can’t have relationships.” Yes, your son can – many other people with Aspergers have great and happy relationships. It takes a bit of work and someone special as a partner – but its worth it. I know this from experience.

I thought the whole when-two-people-really-love-eachother thing was reserved for a birds and bees talk. Otherwise it sounds a bit ridiculous.

Which is ridiculous when you think about it. The whole point of a sex talk is to be honest about sex,and not to leave their child feeling skeptical or lied to. With that bond of trust is broken then even if the parents have something important to say it will fall on deaf ears.

In an ideal world, it should be, but reality unfortunately doesn't play out that way...

You have sex with a stranger, and you "make love" to your "partner"

At least, that's how I separate the two

Why do you believe that?

Do you ever think that partners have sex for reasons other than expressing love?

For me it is. I would never sleep with someone I didn't love because if I did, I would never forgive myself for behaving in such a way. It's just not in character for me to f**k someone because they are good looking. D:

Why would that be a bad thing for you?

Because it's just not in my nature to do that. Maybe it's because I'm still a virgin and I can't just give it up to the first dick I come across. If I were to sleep with someone I didn't love, I wouldn't be a person. I would be an animal incapable of controlling her desires and I don't want that. D:

You can do whatever floats your boat. None of us are saying you're wrong or anything (just stating our opinions). People like Erisad and I see sex as something that is so intimate that it is to only be engaged in with someone you share such a deep connection with. You might not see it that way. And we're not forcing you to see it our way, just asking that you understand that, yes, some folks think like this...

It's the second sentence. You lose your faith, then your virginity, then your heart and your sexual morality go with it. It's the natural order of the fall from grace.

Sex is for up to 3 people who think I'm sexy. That's my belief

So are people who have sex with people they don't love not people?

Why would you want to control your desires?

@JohnisBlind - Because if I didn't control my desires, I'd be a slut and I don't want to be that. :/

@Pistonhead - So it's impossible to maintain any standards after losing one's virginity? I don't believe that.

I think the myth (particularly popular among girls) that love and sex go hand-in-hand has to go just because how detrimental it has proved to be for teenage girls, but I agree with this:

It's dumb to believe that having sex will solve his problems.

And for the record, I'm one of those sex-is-for-procreation-only people. It makes no sense to have sex for fun, just like it makes no sense to eat for fun.

No....not if you are madly in love with that person till the day you die.

It's the breakup, knowing you've been cheated on or used that does it for you. Knowing how little it meant in the real world. It just completely destroys the value you place on it.