Any advice on how to handle this?

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MDD123
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02 Sep 2010, 11:44 pm

So last month, I finally tell this person in my reserve unit how I feel about her (this was right before a transfer anyway) and she's seeing someone else. In a week or so, I'll be going back and I'll be likely to run into her again. I really don't want to give her the impression that I'm upset about it (not gonna blow her off) but I don't want it to look like I'm still trying to get with her. I really don't know this happy medium too well. I'll only be around her for 2 day max but there's I still have feelings for her and I don't want to risk making an ass out of myself because of that.

Has anyone else here been in similar situations where they managed to make it through the day after without things getting awkward?



ToadOfSteel
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02 Sep 2010, 11:55 pm

Let me tell you this right off the bat: there will be awkwardness. What you need to do is demonstrate that your personal life will not interfere with your ability to work with her. Being able to maintain a professional relationship is important in the working world, and your ability to not let the attempt get to you and render that impossible will show a lot about your character.



foreveryoung
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03 Sep 2010, 12:06 am

Treat her like you'd treat a guy friend or anyone else...don't outright ignore her, but don't act awkward, like "Oh you rejected me and it's clearly gotten the best of me." Picture her taking a nice deuce or with 20 extra lbs. Should help.



MDD123
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03 Sep 2010, 8:46 am

Yea you're right, I too have a feeling that awkward is gonna happen no matter what, all the more reason to take work seriously. I can't say I'll picture her on the can, but I appreciate the caliber of advice you're giving, instead of convincing myself that I'm less attracted, I'll just convince myself how important my work is (since I may get moved up a little) and how I'm more focused on that than a romance that didn't happen. I think it's time for me to break out the NLP book.



ToadOfSteel
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03 Sep 2010, 9:06 am

foreveryoung wrote:
Picture her taking a nice deuce or with 20 extra lbs. Should help.


You better watch out though, there are guys into that sort of thing... otherwise 2girls1cup would never have been created...



RightGalaxy
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03 Sep 2010, 9:32 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
foreveryoung wrote:
Picture her taking a nice deuce or with 20 extra lbs. Should help.


You better watch out though, there are guys into that sort of thing... otherwise 2girls1cup would never have been created...


Do you mean a "douche"? Well, 20 extra pounds in all the right places might make you hungry for some boom,boom,boom!



MDD123
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03 Sep 2010, 12:47 pm

So aside from the NLP approach, does anyone have practical advice?



Shebakoby
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03 Sep 2010, 1:21 pm

This might seem like closing the barn door after the horse is gone, but shouldn't it be discovered whether a person IS seeing someone else before telling them how you feel?



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2010, 1:24 pm

Act as if you don't give a damn.

If you are a truly autistic, then you shouldn't be the kind who explicitly shows his emotions.



MDD123
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03 Sep 2010, 5:58 pm

I didn't have any way of knowing before I told her, and if I asked her, it was going to become appearant that I was interested. Now that I know, I just want to salvage this by not making anything out of it, and when I like someone, it's hard for me to hide it, people can just read it out of me.

So far the plan is to not think about the "feelings" aspect which fits nicely into the "focus on all the work" aspect. If I run into her, imagine that I'm brad pitt''s character from "Burn After Reading" who pull off cheerful and platonic at the same time. It was a close call between that and the "toilet" idea though :lol: