Failed Engagement

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Okay I just got out of a relationship with my Fiance. I was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult and I'm really trying to work through it. I thought I would be okay getting married but we've had serious problems in our relationship concerning communication mostly.
She finally decided to just dump me and break of the engagement (for the second time). I completely understand that she maybe has been hurt by me not fully understanding her feelings. I mean the main issue was cell phones. I have had the same cell phone company since I was a teenager, and she really wanted to switch to another company. She has been seriously unrelenting and even created a new line with her company without discussing it with me first. I really didn't like the company when I went to talk to them after some encouragement from my psychologist. I didn't like her phone company mainly for the fact that they didn't communicate to me very well. I asked questions, but couldn't get clear answers. My psychologist asked her to agree to disagree. After that she was very upset, said she hated my psychologist, and that she is full of you know what... And gradually it led to her dumping me.
It doesn't help that my family wasn't very happy with her either. Is that normal? Or is that Aspergers? I can't seem to find someone that my family agrees with. Everyone I date says they don't like my family or they say they were treated poorly. Do I just attract women that my family doesn't like because I have Aspergers?
I'm okay that this girl doesn't want to live with my problems. That's okay, and she said some hurtful things to me about how I'm abusive and she hopes that I never get married or date anyone else to hurt them... I just want to find someone that can understand the way my mind works. How do I go about finding that? Can I have a successful marriage to an NT? Or should I look for someone with AS? I hear two AS people can be even worse, is that true? Should I be looking for my opposite or someone the same?

If it helps, your ex sounds as unstable as ever.

A word of advice? Don't expect anyone to be a mind-reader and to understand you 100%. And don't jump into a relationship shortly after you broke off an engagement either.

That's normal, and probably a bad sign.

SHE wanted to basically control YOU by trying to force you to change cellphone carriers? And She threw a hissy fit and called YOU abusive? Unless there's something I'm missing, it's like "Wait, WHAT?"

Crazy woman is crazy.

It doesn't sound like either of you were prepared for the rigors of marriage if a difference of opinion about cell phone carriers could break you up. If/when you get seriously involved with another woman, I hope you consider some serious pre-marital couples counseling before you make a decision about marriage.

The funny thing is, that's exactly what I did. I asked her to visit my psychologist with me first. And we had been doing regular visits through it all.

I am going to be very cautious going into a new relationship. I really felt like I did everything I could. There were just so many issues that I couldn't handle I guess and she just decided to give it all up. Moving forward, maybe I will just make sure they are okay and understand AS before we go on a first date.

That's about all there was to it. Maybe I missed something between all of that? She felt like, wow, you can do this one little thing for me? But I was thinking, if it's such a little thing, why is it so important? She suggested switching over to my carrier, only I wasn't ready to do that. I told her what I want is to just keep them both the way they are.

I mean over all in the relationship, I felt like she was hiding something. She basically told me she lied to me all of the time. She said that she never really loved me. I used to question her about how she would put me second to other plans that she had. Like she wanted to hang out with her friends and I thought it could just be me and her. My family thought it was strange that she didn't want to be with me all the time. They thought hey, why doesn't she want to be with you all the time, that's not normal... Is it normal though for someone not to want to be around an AS person all the time? That's the question.

I think that's a very wise plan, OP. Also based on your response about her lying all the time, etc. - sounds like you dodged a bullet (maybe your reluctance to consolidate your cell phone carriers was just a subconscious way of putting the brakes on the relationship).

As far as her not wanting to be around you all the time....it's kinda hard to say. When I'm in love with a man, I pretty much want to be around him all the time. But I'm kinda surprised to say you'd want her to be around you all the time, as lots of Aspies really, really like and need their alone time/space.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be flip because I know this is a serious loss for you - but it seems like this relationship was not the right one for you.