You would deserve a gf only if/You would only get a gf if...

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There have been confrontations between members of both genders and male members (such as fs with his sexist ideas) who promote/say ideas that are offensive to many, or even with male members who whine or showing lack of self-confidence.

Members (and usually females) usually tell them remarks such as:
"You would only get a gf when you start to respect women"
"You would only get a gf when you stop whining" (often said to ToadofSteel)
"You would only deserve a gf when you love yourself"

etc etc....

Ok, if we take a look around , we see:

-Many sexist men with wives/gfs.
-Many men who abuse their wives/gfs (=no respect to them)
-Whining men with wives/gfs ( I have 2 male coworkers who don't ever stop whining yet they have gfs , one of them even whines of being in committed relationship and not being able to hook up with other girls anymore , the other whom his salary is the highest keeps whining about savings and expenses.....so I keep hearing daily whining.... whining , whining / In return, I never whine in real life).
-Many men with low self-esteem and self-loathing with wives/gfs.
-Total Bastards with gfs/wives.
-Sissies with gfs/wives.

etc...


Seriously, those remarks are irrelevant to reality. Such remarks might make those wp members better men ...better humans , but they do not reflect the reasons why they aren't having gfs.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Sep 2010, 1:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Female posters here state that I don't have a girlfriend because I don't respect women! WTF! I respect women, lots of women. They seem to forget that I have AS and I come across as disrespectful. So, when it comes down to it, I am being called out on something that clearly isn't my fault.

Well I actually agree with one of those lines up above.

In order to find a healthy relationship, it IS important to know and love yourself. To be at peace with who you are, and comfortable with your own ability to love yourself and be happy alone. THEN go looking for a girl. You won't seem so desperate and women can sense that.

Incidently, I've also learned that if you are happy with yourself, and DATE (or marry) a woman who hasn't quite found the same inner peace, you're going to have to make a hell of a lot more effort to demonstrate to her that you are interested in her, because she'll be a hell of a lot less likely to intuit it, or see it when you DO try and demonstrate your appreciation and love.

And this probably applies to the reverse (women looking for men).
And most likely to the homosexual community too.

A lot of idiots are in a (mostly dysfunctional) relationship, yes. If you want to be one of them, then suit yourself. As for me, I'm perfectly happy telling people what they should and shouldn't be looking for, I'm idealistic like that.

I am not one of them already nor I want to be one.

Do not assume.

Besides, this is a general thread and not a thread about me , so there's no need to address me.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 01 Sep 2010, 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's not you, it's generic "you."

Yes, I agree. Do not assume.

I hate the generic "you." , it's confusing .....use 'they' ,'him', 'one' instead :p.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 01 Sep 2010, 4:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

what is the point of this thread exactly? to tell men that they can have girlriends if they are disrespectful to women and have the best of both worlds?

but, in real life maybe those men hide it better than the complaining people on WP, or maybe their redeeming qualities are truly outstanding, or even... maybe they are with women who have low self-esteen who believe they don't deserve any better (who would want a girlfriend like that?) anyway, we can't compare them side-by-side here.

what i do know is that a negative attitude, where a man is demeaning to women, is a definite NO for most women. end of story. perhaps it is just easier to sort that out online as opposed to in real life.

about loving oneself (i include complaining/whining in this category) - it's true that a person can hate themselves and still have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), but their choices will be very very very limited. not too many women (or men for that matter) want to be in a relationship with someone who has extremely low self-esteem... because they are DOWNERS who need near-constant attention and support. that's too much weight on the shoulders of a potential mate.

there are always exceptions to these situations, but why settle with the limited choices available in the tiny pool of people who will put up with a person's misogyny/low self-esteem/complaining? better to improve oneself, widen the pool, and have infinitely better odds of finding a mate.

[edited to take out the 'you' words, to prevent confusion]

Its point is to make us return to the cave age when cavemen liked to drag cavewomen by their hair lol: (which is just a cartoon theory btw).

Kidding...

Don't worry, there's no agenda behind this thread, nor it will change any member's attitude. Those who have disrespectful attitude toward women will stay disrespectful toward women and those who respectful to women will remain respectful to women. My one silly thread won't change anything.





but for how long those men can hide it ? The men that I am mentioning in my examples are men who have been in relationships for too long. (one married since 5 years , one with a gf for 2 years.)




Yes, redeeming qualities should be also more talked about too.




Yes,not all women are idealists and perfect, a 'gf' doesn't necessary have the same mentality of those who are saying those remarks. Probably men with the bad qualities I mentioned above want such women. Fs for example might go for a wife who would never tell him 'no' and that girl might be happy with being so submissive (regardless how stupid this sounds) .




In reality, most men who are demeaning to women can get gfs/wives. How much this behavior decreases their mating chances tho? ...no one really knows.



Many women have low self-esteem and downers , a man with -5 self-esteem can get a woman with -5 or even -10 self-esteem.




Yup, I believe too that it's a matter of a 'general value' , for example we can assume that a bad quality such as low self-esteem is "- 7" , his good-looking might be "+2" , his good job might be "+3" , his intelligence might be "+5". So the 'general value' would be -7 + 2 +3+5 = 3 , the higher the general value is the higher his mating chances.




Thank you....let me give you a huge French kiss as appreciation.
no , wait , you're married and I just ate garlic pie....no casualties needed here ....so forget it.

I definitely agree with sentiments of the original post. I may sometimes come across as whiney on here but I feel I don't really have anywhere else to vent. I'm not exactly the same here as in reality!

When men complain about not being able to get a woman, I just roll my eyes. There are way more straight women out there for them than their are queer woman out there for me, but I still manage somehow to get women tripping over themselves for me. I'm not especially attractive or anything. Asperger's can actually help you here if you use it right - I go up to a woman and tell her exactly what I'm thinking, and I get points for being direct and clear. But then, what I'm thinking is usually something complimentary to her, because my personality is somewhat poetically inclined.

Having worked in the gay community for a while I observed how things happened there in terms of dating and found it quite different. Most there find it much easier to find a mate than most straight people I've ever met so I don't really see this as valid!

all right all right i suppose i could calm down. your posts always get me up in a tree, then you explain what you mean and my irritation ends up deflated. interesting online talent!

you understood exactly what i meant about the ratings/point system. i don't think people consciously do this, and i think our ratings vary from person to person, but i do think we all use something like this on an unconscious level. for example, in my opinion....

intelligence is the most important for me, so maybe that would be +7. appearance is moderately important to me (maybe +5), but not in a sterotypical way - i tend toward appreciating actors like the 4th Doctor Who, Alan Rickman, Hugh Laurie, etc. kindness/attitude/altruism would be another +6, and so on. my list would be different from someone else, probably. misogyny would be -10000000 or more hahaha!

off-topic: are you buddhist, can i ask? buddhist people seem to come across calmer online.

I agree with Mark, in a perfect world men wouldn't set unreasonable standards, and neither would women. Maybe some of us were born knowing how to bargain in the dating world but I think the majority here are still trying to learn that. I think it's better that whatever is bothering them is better addressed here on WP rather than out in a place where bad decisions can affect lives.

In real life we are all crazy.

hah!