Give examples of sh-tests you were put through

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It would seem simple to tell men to avoid superficial women just as women should avoid men who really have no use for us - but members such as Craig28 appear to be pursuing only the beautiful young women who are delusional about their worth. So in his experience, all women are the same - they are manipulative. One can only hope that he, and the others, have an opportunity to meet some of the many women (who are actually the majority) who are worth knowing.

They aren't really. The UK, the US, NZ and Australia are all very similar in culture. Native english speaking and white western world.

There are a lot of horrible men and women in NZ, a lot. But there are also ones who aren't scumbags.

I would class Nicola and Bernadette as beautiful. Amber is not, she is average and Rachel, I still have no idea what she looks like, my mate says she looks like Lily Allen, which I can't stand. But Nicola was so beautiful, what she did to me hurt me, but I got over that in a few hours, she wasn't worth me wasting my time over.

So then it's 3 attractive women and one average woman who are like that, not most young women?

Maybe you should lower your standards a bit if it'sa repeditive problem?

I should really listen to my mate - he says that a night out with a women can run upwards to £80. He asked me how much I was spending a month seeing the prostitute I see. I told him £50. Its cheaper for me and I don't have the emotional baggage malarkey that goes with it. But, you see, the woman that I see is 6 ft tall, long black hair and is sexy. I'm happy seeing her!

Craig28 - you mentioned that you never got to take out any of these 4 women? Then they were only friends or acquiantances? But you were hurt by them? Why would you have formed an attachment to them if you were not dating or close to each other?

I am only asking because I do not understand. I am empathic but do not attach to others very easily so I cannot be hurt as frequently as I might otherwise be hurt.

I was never friends with any of them. Nicola went to my school and was 2 years older then me, she was a Facebook friend before she blocked me. Amber was a girl in my local Asda (Walmart) store that I liked the look of. Bernadette was an employee that worked at the same company as my mother. Rachel was a barmaid where my mate drinks.

Well whats the problem then?
It seems like better value for money.

I'm sure you're a good guy, you just need to get past resenting all women for things like this, and taking things to heart. I still can't see the games the barmaid is playing, I don't understand.

Also this isn't an excuse, but a possible explaination of the "games" women play due top their hormones fluctuating. At some times of the month I am happy talking to whoever, at others, everyone EVERYONE pisses me off. Its best to try ones best to keep it under control, but sometimes people get the wrong messages from it - and its honestly not their problem, its mine - so they shouldn't feel bad.

I'm not the average woman though I've got a lot of physical health problems which make it worse. On one downder I deleted about 100 of my facebook friends out of sheer frustration. They didn't do anything, I was just going through a hard time. I am fine with them not liking me because of it though. Its only fair.

Craig28 - You are making more of an emotional investment than you should in the 4 women who don't have an interest in you. You are happier seeing the prostitute since there is no emotional involvement. Perhaps you are not ready yet for a relationship that that is emotionally stressful - and you haven't met the right person yet. But you are young.

i'm confused about what you wanted. is it about sex or something else?

That is the biggest misconception in the world and it disheartens me to think how many men and women are single because he automatically assumed she wouldn't find him attractive or wouldn't date him because he made $10/hour.

Men believe that all women want a rich playgirl model because they think that women have the same list of priorities as men. Men place looks at the top of their list of priorities for a dating partner, and assume women do the same...but they do not. Men tend measure their success in life by financial achievement, and assume women measure them by much the same...which they don't.

You might be surprised by this but for a long term relationship, a lot of woman will choose the average looking guy over the super hot model because women figure that super hot guys know they are super hot, and so will be more likely to cheat.

As for money...sure it's nice to marry someone who is financially stable. If she wants a family and to be a full time homemaker, staying home taking care of the kids, the house, and her husband, then yes, he is going to have to be able to support that financially, but not all women want that.

Most woman would choose personality over money. There's nothing more unattractive than a conceded, rich @$$hole....and usually those types of men get conceded, gold digging b!tches as jerk of the year trophies.

If you ask a young woman what she wants in a guy today she'll probably tell you two things "cute" by her standards, and "funny" and she is being honest about it.

Now in the past, when men were expected to be the bread winners and women were expected to stay home and that was all there was too it, how much a man made was considered far more important and if you read personal adds from the beginning of the 20th century most of them say something like "Fair young woman of good address seeks well of young man from like."

Women care much less today about how much he makes.

yes, and thank you for saying it. humour is sexy.

I think my nice (truly a nice guy), giving (he cooked professionally and now brings in nice snacks for all of us routinely without any desire for recompense - there's your selfless giving, Hope Grows!) coworker would beg to differ RE: the financial argument above. He's been averaging about $20-30k per year, is in his mid 30s, and only now finally broke into the $40k range, which still is barely anything for Los Angeles.

He's been single for.... Well, I'm afraid to ask, but I think it's either been his whole life or most of it. He's not tall, he's not particularly handsome, and while he is very nice, very giving, and always going out of his way to be friendly and help people, I see woman after woman brush him off. It's really discouraging, and I can't help but feel really bad for him -- he's not doing anything wrong, and if anything, he's doing exactly what a lot of people say.

My conclusions -- he's not tall enough (a factor that is important, as much as no one here wants to admit it), he's not handsome enough, and most importantly, he's not wealthy enough to land anyone of quality who wants a family. It's really a shame, because he really likes kids and would probably make a great parent, having learned some hard life lessons in an abusive household as a kid.

The 4 women, I wanted for their mind, not their body.

At the same time, I am paying a prostitute £50 a month to get some action.

I'm gradually deciding whether or not to take your posts seriously anymore. I"m really not going to bandy about with the definitions, because I have the feeling that whatever I write, you are just going to reinterpret it to fit your meaning. I assure you that what you depicted in earlier posts is a fairly extreme interpretation of any of the words above. Nothing in any of the definitions means to keep giving to everyone regardless of feedback or value to yourself.

Btw, the Boy Scouts is a pretty respected international organization -- I'll pardon your apparent ignorance, but if you don't know about them... what do you know?

he had an abusive environment as a child? has he gotten therapy? probably a good idea before he has kids, as abusive environments tend to breed future abuse... it gets passed down the generations.

which of the reasons are you attributing his lack of success to? lack of money? average looks? or the combination of both?

LA is kind of known for being shallow. perhaps he could relocate to a place that is less judgemental? i don't think that this man's lack of success means that all women look for those two things in a man. just that those women might have.