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Allan
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04 Jan 2011, 5:41 am

I've been texting this girl who I like but there is one big problem: I don't know what to say. I don't want the conversation to die but I can't think of anything to keep it going. Any help would be appreciated.



astaut
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04 Jan 2011, 5:47 am

I have the same problem :? I usually just ask questions, and if they keep answering that means they want to talk. But if they're being short I wonder if they don't want to talk. Say some kind of remark then ask a question, and if she doesn't start trying to engage in a conversation say something like "well you seem busy so.." and end the conversation politely.


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04 Jan 2011, 6:46 am

Think of some things you don't know about her and ask her about them. Likes, dislikes, past experiences, future goals/hopes, beliefs, etc. It's usually best to use transitions and not just ask questions at random, though--don't want it to seem like an interrogation.


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Allan
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04 Jan 2011, 8:32 am

Thats a good idea. Kinda hard about the not know part. We were in the same elementary and middle school.



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04 Jan 2011, 8:44 am

Try asking her about views on things

Like where does she plan on going to college

or just try talking about current events in the world

Then there is always hollywood people to talk about

Most Importantly..Like KayBee said....try not to attack her with rapid fire questions one after another
Try to share your thoughts as well on said topic.
It might be a good idea to try to form your opinion clearly before just bringing up a random topic.



Allan
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04 Jan 2011, 8:59 am

So I shouldn't ask for her opinions on the oil crisis?



HopefulRomantic
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04 Jan 2011, 9:02 am

Allan wrote:
I've been texting this girl who I like but there is one big problem: I don't know what to say. I don't want the conversation to die but I can't think of anything to keep it going. Any help would be appreciated.


Please tell her about your hopes, dreams, fears, interests, hobbies and your attitudes about life in general. Tell her about your feelings.

End of the day, if she cares about you - she will be thrilled to listen to you!

My contention is that friendship (predicated upon mutual respect and regard) is the cornerstone of any worthwhile relationship. If the relationship or friendship has lasting endurance - then you should be able to tell her who you are (the good, the bad and the ugly) and who you want to become!

Take a shot! Best of luck!! !



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04 Jan 2011, 10:10 am

At the moment, you've got an advantage because you can ask her how her Christmas and New Year's were, and you can ask more questions, etc.

Also rehearse conversations in your head in your spare time, plan out what you might say next time you talk. This tends to work well for me, and I have the same problem as you when it comes to keeping conversations going.



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04 Jan 2011, 12:56 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
At the moment, you've got an advantage because you can ask her how her Christmas and New Year's were, and you can ask more questions, etc.

Also rehearse conversations in your head in your spare time, plan out what you might say next time you talk. This tends to work well for me, and I have the same problem as you when it comes to keeping conversations going.


Yes, both of these things. ^ Ask her if she got a good haul or if Santa brought her everything she hoped for. This is a great, non-creepy way to find out what things she likes/is in to. Keep it light...


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04 Jan 2011, 1:43 pm

Try and make the conversation flow. I mean if she's just been talking about what she did at the weekend, don't suddenly go "so what do you think about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?" It's ok to ask random questions now and then to move the conversation on, but don't just jump from one thing to another.

When I'm talking to someone I try and think of something about myself that relates to what they've just said about themselves. ie if they're talking about a film they watched last night, I can tell them I've seen it too (if I have) and talk about that a little.

I'm not sure if this is good advice, obviously just my opinion. And I'm definitely not experienced with women so dunno if you should listen or not :lol:

Although I would say this - whenever I'm really stuck, I find just agreeing helps. Nod along, yeah, smile, laugh at their jokes. People usually like talking themselves more than they like listening (especially women - ha! only joking - I am gonna get lynched for saying that :lol: ) so they're less likely to notice. Try not to do it too much though, as you'll just look a bit simple/dumb. But if you really can't think of anything to say, agree and nod along

Also depends on where you are - if you're talking to someone at college for example, you have an advantage as you can ask about a class you missed, have they done that assignment yet, what lectures do they have this afternoon etc... safe smalltalk that will always work (I think)



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05 Jan 2011, 4:41 am

Volodja wrote:
I'm not sure if this is good advice, obviously just my opinion. And I'm definitely not experienced with women so dunno if you should listen or not :lol:


Nonsense, that's great advice! There's been a lot of very good advice in this thread. If you follow it, Allan, I think you should do okay. ^_^ And I want to second (third?) the suggestion of rehearsing things to say in your head ahead of time. Not obsessively, mind you, just enough that you have an idea of what you might say to help boost your confidence and/or give you something to start with.


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Allan
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05 Jan 2011, 10:08 am

So I shouldn't write a script up before I talk to her?



Allan
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05 Jan 2011, 6:00 pm

UPDATE:

It looks like one of the Saturday's this month we might hang out.



Last edited by Allan on 06 Jan 2011, 7:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kaybee
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06 Jan 2011, 5:54 am

Allan wrote:
UPDATE:

It looks like one of the Saturday's this month we might hang out. If so I need opinions on how I look compared to her.


Why? You both look fine. Hope we've been helpful. Also, you probably shouldn't post her picture. I'd be quite displeased if someone was posting mine without my permission.


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Allan
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06 Jan 2011, 9:06 am

Because I've been told numerous girls that I'm hideous and it's greatly affected my self-esteem. Also, yes you all have been helpful.