My gf broke up with me 3 weeks ago
I feel so upset, even though I didn't really like this girl all that much. I mean, yeah sure, I was in love with her, but I definitely hated so much of her that it barely counts. I even tried to break up with her the week before she broke up with me, but it was too freaking painful for me to deal with. She threatened to kill herself and said she would be lost without me. All we did was fight because she was bipolar and always in this manic agitated mode. There was a great girl underneath all that mental pathology, but I barely got to see that side. The week before she let me go, she was telling me how she wanted to get married when we're done with school. She could be so f*****g sweet with me, and then completely horrible the next hour. I spent every day of the last four months hanging out with her when I wasn't working or studying. I slept by her side almost every night. We were so close yet we had nothing in common and that's what led her to break it off with me.
I've got a date tomorrow, and the girl is honestly just not that pretty (she's not fat or anything, I just don't like her sense of style at all...too avant garde) or charming. I can tell she really likes me already (first date is tomorrow and I bumped into her randomly today and she said something like "I was thinking about you today") and we have a lot in common, but I can't feel anything for her after dating a model. I feel like my ex must've been a fluke due to her mental disorder, I'll never get that pretty of a girl again. She gave me such a rush after our fight/make-up cylces. I want to just go curl up and die somewhere and for no good reason. This is what I wanted after all.
I mean, what makes it worse is that she hasn't talked to me a single time since the break up and it seems like it was nothing for her. I saw her coming in my direction on the street the other day and tried to cross, but the traffic was too busy, so I ended up walking by her. She laughed a little bit and kept walking by me unaffected. I feel so freaking used.
ChekaMan
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Joined: 17 Aug 2010
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I move really quickly with women. Before this girl, I had bedded like 6 women in 6 months. I intended for my ex to be just another mark, but the semester ended and I had no other options over the summer. Then I wound up spending every minute with her and fell hard for her even though all we did was fight.
After this last mistake, I'm gonna put much more value on personality if I'm looking to have a relationship. There's just no spark with this new girl, she's too weird and this is coming from someone with an ASD. Extremely intelligent, phd student in linguistics just like me, she's slender, and likes a lot of the same music I like. I want to give her a shot, but I don't see it happening. If I do give her a shot, I'm afraid I'll just end up hurting her because I'll leave her as soon as some shiny thing comes along. It's like I've already won the battle and she likes me too much for this to be fun for me. What I really want to do is feel that resistance and also feel like I'd make my ex jealous if she saw me with her, which is really all shallow BS. I've never felt a real connection with a girl before, so I treat them all like objects (part of why my gf broke up with me).
If they can't do abstract/philosophical conversation, I get tired of their minds really quick and most women don't like to do this. I can certainly fake enjoying light-hearted "fun" things, but I really want to talk about more profound things. There's this persona I use to get girls and I'd love to not have to do that anymore because being extroverted takes a lot of energy for me, but in all 22 years of my life before that, being an introverted nerd not concerned with his appearance or how cool he seems NEVER worked. Eventually, they find out I'm really just an extremely nice guy with massive psychological issues and tell me that I'm all image.
HopeGrows
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If they can't do abstract/philosophical conversation, I get tired of their minds really quick and most women don't like to do this. I can certainly fake enjoying light-hearted "fun" things, but I really want to talk about more profound things. There's this persona I use to get girls and I'd love to not have to do that anymore because being extroverted takes a lot of energy for me, but in all 22 years of my life before that, being an introverted nerd not concerned with his appearance or how cool he seems NEVER worked. Eventually, they find out I'm really just an extremely nice guy with massive psychological issues and tell me that I'm all image.
You're afraid you're going to hurt her because you're already planning to dump her when a better looking girl gives you a tumble? No, you're going to hurt her.
I'm sorry, it's hard to have sympathy for you, OP. If you want sympathy, if you want a chance at developing a real relationship with a woman, then I suggest you roll up your sleeves and start working on becoming a man worthy of such a relationship. Recognize what you're doing wrong here, and start making relationship choices with some measure of integrity. Your "massive psychological issues" can be addressed, with the right kind of help - and the intention to make yourself a better person. So get to it (and don't keep this date - she doesn't deserve what you've got in store for her).
_________________
What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful...
HopeGrows
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The_Face_of_Boo
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First, I do not believe that you are an aspie or autistic even if you rub your official diagnosis on my face , I won't believe it. Unless if you show me a neurological (brain scan) diagnosis which is not yet available(but it will be ,soon)
You can't even be a socially inept NT. You are either a normal NT , or having a ridiculously mild AS.
6 women in 6 months and 2 others in 4 weeks ....wtf? Not saying this is good thing, but a man must have a hell of social skills and understanding of body language in order to attract that much women in a very short period of time (and you still studying so you're still very young) , it also means that you have a very socially active life which also requires high social skills in order to obtain it and maintain it.
it can't be just luck or just gorgeous looks. Even cognitive -whatever is - trainings can't give a socially inept that much ability.
Every time I hear a story of a very young 'aspie' guy having a new girlfriend every month , I start wondering about his condition and the validity of his label.) , it's just illogical , it can't compute. It's like saying a man with Down Syndrome is getting A++ for every math exam.
Most aspie guys find break ups hard because they feel that their relationship might be their only social life, and they realize deep down that they won't get another gf for a long time , yet for you , gfs are very expendable.
Second, whether you're "Aspie" or not (notice the " " , because I don't believe it) , you're using your charm or magic or whatever the hell it is in an unethical way.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Sep 2010, 3:31 pm, edited 5 times in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
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There is a type of downs syndrome which only has the physiological symptons but will have no impact on IQ or ability. They account for 5% of all downs syndrome cases.
Mass generalisation fail
You're probably referring to those with Savant syndrome and it's a different condition genetically .
There is a type of downs syndrome which only has the physiological symptons but will have no impact on IQ or ability. They account for 5% of all downs syndrome cases.
Mass generalisation fail
95% is a pretty awesome generalisation. Who said it must be true 100% of time? Nothing related to humans and our society and especially our mental states, is ever 100%.
The_Face_of_Boo
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I was googling about Down Syndrome and there's nothing mentioning the existence of geniuses among the DS population.
Most stats are like this:
Psychological assessment, using standard psychometric tests, was carried out in 375 cases of clinically diagnosed Down syndrome to study the degree of mental handicap. There were 160 (42.7%) cases in the severely ret*d, group, while 43 (11.5%) were profoundly ret*d, 124 (33.1%) were moderately ret*d, 34 (9.1%) were mildly ret*d and 7 (1.9%) belonged to the category of borderline intelligence.
Key words Mental deficiency - Down syndrome - Trisomy 21 - I.Q. - D.Q.
Fulltext Preview
and when I was talking about A++ in maths, I wasn't referring to borderline intelligence for sure.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Sep 2010, 3:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
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roadGames , I think you should create a sticky thread called "Learn my secret" , since you're that successful in attracting women then you must be a ladies expert , you might be jerk but you're a 'ladies man' nevertheless.
So what's your secret? Some flamboyant dance moves? Sexy roaring? Pommel horse gymnast? Your smell?
You might teach the aspies a thing or two , not in order to be players like you , but in order for them to get a one gf at least.
Who knows? That would humanist favor after all, you might make some girl happy indirectly since you're unable to do it directly.
This.
I don't even know any women in my age group that are not yet spoken for except for my ex. So it seems like fixing things with her is my only hope. I know that, rationally, there are billions of women out there. But I don't know those women, and unless I have a guarantee of some kind that she's not going to charge me with sexual harassment for trying to say hi to her (which, if I don't know her, is kind of impossible), I just can't talk to her...
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