I keep saying hurtfull things bye mistake to my sweethear

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I keep saying hurtful things bye mistake for example my girl friend. She was over on Monday and Tuesday at my apartment. That is my college student days in witch I need to be alone to focus on my college classes. So I asked her of Tuesday when are you going to leave?

She got very hurt and upset at me.

She also wanted to use my eBay account of her to buy something. She has one so I could not understand why she just could not use the forgotten password feature instead of using my account.

She got very angry about this.

I hate it when i accidentally say and do things that hurt her.
What can I do to keep from making these mistakes?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I think she was being unreasonable there TBH, there was nothing wrong with that at all.

Anyways, before you say something to her, try and think about how you would react if she said it to you. Might work.

This is the really really hard transition from being two individuals to being a couple. Being an Aspie makes it even harder--you don't see the signs of her getting mad until she actually blows up. But, I suspect it isn't much easier for NT couples, as guys normally want to stay independent and girls normally want to transition to couples much faster.

I think the saying goes--you can't live with them, you can't live without them.

Beware the overly emotional/hypersensitive/emotionally abusive GF. There are plenty of women, especially young ones (who have not yet learned the life lessons of supply and demand at an older age, and how that changes) who get very spoiled by being in constant demand and pretty much use their BF as an emotional punching bag. My first GF was like this, and it really did a number on my self-esteem and my peace of mind.

It's one thing to say "When are you going to leave?" vs. "I have to get some studying done, so it might be best for both of us to study quietly now or for me to not be selfish and let you do something else somewhere else while I study" -- It's another to have her walk all over you with your Ebay account when, yes, she can quite easily get the password for her own. Don't let her laziness masquerade as "you saying something hurtful."

Women (and men) who act like this usually come from verbally abusive or overly controlling parents. If this sounds at all familiar, be prepared to push back verbally when you are right.

If you said it exactly like that, then yeah, it probably sounded to her as if you were bored of her company and wanted rid of her, or that she was wasting your time.

You could try framing it nicer in future; something like 'hey, I love hanging around with you. I really need to study all day tomorrow, but can I see you on [insert next day you want to meet]? Make it sound like you're really reluctant to see her go and when she is gone, send her a text or two telling her you miss her. It may sound like over kill, but if you're bad at askign people to leave, I'd err on the safety side for a while.



Again, it really depends on what exactly and how exactly you said this to her that would determine whether or not she's being unreasonable. Sitting here, I understand completely that she could just use the 'forgotten password option' but if you think about it from her perspective, it would have been just as easy for you to buy it for her and let her pay you back if you already have an active account It's not that big a deal, unless you think she's untrustworthy and won't pay you back or something. Doing small favours for each other like this is a normal interaction for most couples.

Say the meanest thing you can think of and you will become enlightened.

The ebay account thing is justified. She has no right to use your ebay account, nor should she expect it.

As for telling her to leave, you could have been more tactful, just by saying something like "I love seeing you and stuff but its really important to concentrate on my studies, do you mind if we hang out 3 days instead of 5?" etc