Women: How important is ________ to you?

Page 1 of 4 [ 53 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Gnomon
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 30
Location: California

26 Sep 2010, 8:58 am

Okay, ladies - I would like to enlist your aid in an impromptu survey of female dating priorities. It's okay that you might not be representative of the general population of women: In fact, it may even be more helpful, because the things that are different about you will only make more obvious the things that are common. So, please rank the following characteristics of a man in order of importance (equality of importance is a valid option, as is No Importance) in how you judge relationship prospects:

Being employed
Quality of job
Prospects for future advancement
Having a car
Quality of car
Hair style
Size of living accommodations
Good neighborhood
Nice furniture
Organized, clean home
Muscle tone
Skin
Smile
Facial Hair (either way)
Clothing style
Body shape
Shared interests
Sensitivity
Intelligence
Effort
Sense of humor
Confidence
Courage
Giving attention
Sexual prowess
Flirtation
Romantic behavior
Persistence
Respectfulness
Playfulness
Spontaneity
Forethought
Assertiveness
Aggressiveness
Submissiveness
Flattery
Openness/Sharing
Intensity
Light-heartedness
Carefulness
Fearlessness

And feel free to add whatever else you want. Once again, this poll is for women only to answer, and they should feel free to answer at length and discuss anything else of importance that you judge a relationship prospect by (though note at what point in the dating process this might become relevant). Thinking about and answering this survey may help you understand yourself much more than it helps me understand women, so I see it as having benefits all around.


_________________
"If you must label the absolute, use its proper name: Temporary." -God Emperor of Dune


Last edited by Gnomon on 26 Sep 2010, 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

26 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

Being employed - depends on the situation. Emplyed is better as it shows the person has a drive to do well, and commendable talents.
Quality of job - Again, the situation. A better job also means a desire to do well, motivation and talent.
Prospects for future advancement - ?
Having a car - Not important. BUT i would prefer someone who has a liscence and knows how to drive. Why? Because it makes the person seem less like they're incapable of everyday life.
Quality of car - n/a
Hair style - depends what suits them
Size of living accommodations - n/a just not with parents
Good neighborhood - yes
Nice furniture - don't care
Organized, clean home - don't care, as long as its not filthy
Muscle tone - prefer wobble
Skin - looked after
Smile - gorgeous with amazing chompers
Facial Hair (either way) - depends what suits them
Clothing style - See above
Body shape - Taller than 6 foot and thick
Shared interests - don't care but if so its better
Sensitivity - moderate
Intelligence - high
Effort - ?
Sense of humor - present but not a huge factor
Confidence - high
Courage - high
Giving attention - moderate
Sexual prowess - ?
Flirtation - low
Romantic behavior - high
Persistence - Depends. moderate i guess?
Respectfulness - high
Playfulness - high
Spontaneity - moderate - high
Forethought - high
Assertiveness - very high
Aggressiveness - low
Submissiveness - moderate - low
Flattery - low
Openness/Sharing - high
Intensity - low
Lightness - high
Carefulness - high
Fearlessness - low- moderate



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

26 Sep 2010, 9:25 am

Im also adding:

Maturity: High
loudness: depends



Peko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,381
Location: Eastern PA, USA

26 Sep 2010, 9:52 am

Sense of humor
Being employed (depends on the situation; if in college he doesn’t need a job while in school)
Sensitivity
Intelligence
Quality of job (I’d prefer he can live off it & that it makes him happy)
Openness/Sharing
Respectfulness
Playfulness
Spontaneity
Forethought
Shared interests (a few not everything; differences can be good even in friendship)
Hair style (Needs to match him & his head/face shape)
Smile
Assertiveness
Having a car
Intensity
Skin (clean)
Aggressiveness
Facial Hair (either way)
Clothing style (should match his personality/body type)
Effort (need it or I won’t recognize what he’s feeling)
Submissiveness
Carefulness
Fearlessness (Rationale & doing what you feel in your gut is right is more important to me)
Body shape (don’t care beyond it not triggering my sensory problems)
Size of living accommodations
Good neighborhood
Nice furniture (Clean, mold free, etc. if he has furniture)
Organized, clean home
Size of living accommodations
Good neighborhood
Nice furniture (Clean, mold free, etc. if he has furniture)
Organized, clean home
Prospects for future advancement
Quality of car (Hopefully, it runs)
Confidence
Courage
Giving attention (Not too much, needs to respect my need for space & I’d do the same)
Persistence
Romantic behavior (Sappy = icky)
Sexual prowess (I don’t give a crap about sex; EWW)
Flirtation (Don’t understand it; so I hate it)
Flattery (HATE THIS)
Lightness (What do you mean?)


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


LostAlien
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,577

26 Sep 2010, 11:05 am

Gnomon wrote:
Okay, ladies - I would like to enlist your aid in an impromptu survey of female dating priorities. It's okay that you might not be representative of the general population of women: In fact, it may even be more helpful, because the things that are different about you will only make more obvious the things that are common. So, please rank the following characteristics of a man in order of importance (equality of importance is a valid option, as is No Importance) in how you judge relationship prospects:

Being employed (depends on situation)
Quality of job (depends on situation)
Prospects for future advancement (Important, as in plans for the future)
Having a car (little importance)
Quality of car (little importance)
Hair style (depends on care level, bald can look good but dirty/greasy hair can be not nice)
Size of living accommodations (little importance if she's interested in you and not what can be gotten from you)
Good neighborhood (depends on situation)
Nice furniture (depends on situation)
Organized, clean home (nice because it feels nice to be in a clean place)
Muscle tone (little importance but healthy is nice/ more attractive)
Skin (clean skin is good)
Smile (genuine ones are good)
Facial Hair (either way) (little importance)
Clothing style (depends on situation)
Body shape (little importance but healthy is nice/ more attractive)
Shared interests (can be useful)
Sensitivity (sympathy is good)
Intelligence (being of equal intelligence helps)
Effort (Very important on both sides)
Sense of humor (nice but not always required)
Confidence (is attractive)
Courage (can be attractive)
Giving attention (can be nice but don't overdo it)
Sexual prowess (depends on situation)
Flirtation (shows attraction so make sure to stay doing that with your partner during the relationship)
Romantic behavior (sometimes nice)
Persistence (depends on person)
Respectfulness (very important)
Playfulness (depends on situation)
Spontaneity (can be nice)
Forethought (can be good)
Assertiveness (can be attractive)
Aggressiveness (depends on situation)
Submissiveness (depends on person)
Flattery (is good when truthful)
Openness/Sharing (Honesty is good, don't tell a person everything, just say the relevent things)
Intensity (depends on person)
Lightness (depends on person)
Carefulness (balance is required between this and below)
Fearlessness (balance is required between this and above)
Honesty is important but also gentle transmission of same is important
Hope this helps



mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

26 Sep 2010, 11:51 am

Being employed - Don't care
Quality of job - Don't care
Prospects for future advancement - Don't care
Having a car- Don't care
Quality of car - Don't care
Hair style - moderately important
Size of living accommodations - Don't care
Good neighborhood - Don't care
Nice furniture - Don't care
Organized, clean home - Don't care
Muscle tone - very important
Skin - moderately important
Smile - moderately important
Facial Hair (either way) - moderately important
Clothing style - moderately important
Body shape - very important. must be toned, preferably a bit on the bulked up side
Shared interests - very important
Sensitivity - moderately important
Intelligence - moderately important. He doesn't have to be up in the Einstein range, but he should be about the same as me at least
Effort - moderately important
Sense of humor - very important
Confidence - moderately important
Courage - moderately important
Giving attention - moderately important
Sexual prowess - very important
Flirtation - meh
Romantic behavior - meh
Persistence - moderately important
Respectfulness - very important
Playfulness - don't mind
Spontaneity - don't mind
Forethought - moderately important
Assertiveness - very important. I want an equal, not a weak little boy who won't stand up and say what he thinks
Aggressiveness - When necessary. I don't want a guy who goes about starting fights.
Submissiveness - Ugh
Flattery - Don't mind
Openness/Sharing - don't mind
Intensity - very important
Lightness - meh
Carefulness - meh
Fearlessness - Not a requirement, but there's something very sexy about reckless men.

And feel free to add whatever else you want. Once again, this poll is for women only to answer, and they should feel free to answer at length and discuss anything else of importance that you judge a relationship prospect by (though note at what point in the dating process this might become relevant). Thinking about and answering this survey may help you understand yourself much more than it helps me understand women, so I see it as having benefits all around.[/quote]


_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)


puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

26 Sep 2010, 12:35 pm

Being employed: it helps, but my current partner was out of work for a while, and I understood, as long as they are looking for work, I don't mind
Quality of job: I'd rather someone did something they were happy with
Prospects for future advancement: not that important
Having a car: not important
Quality of car: not important
Hair style: not important
Size of living accommodations: important when I want to live together
Good neighborhood: I'd like to say not important, but it is a little bit
Nice furniture: not important
Organized, clean home: somewhat important
Muscle tone: not important
Skin: as long as they don't have leprosy
Smile: as long as they do smile from time to time
Facial Hair (either way): not bothered
Clothing style: not important
Body shape: not important
Shared interests: fairly important
Sensitivity: important
Intelligence: very important
Effort: important
Sense of humor: important
Confidence: important
Courage: important
Giving attention: important
Sexual prowess: not very important, but it helps
Flirtation: somewhat important
Romantic behavior: somewhat important
Persistence: somewhat important
Respectfulness: very, very, very important
Playfulness: important
Spontaneity: not very important
Forethought: very important
Assertiveness: somewhat important
Aggressiveness: not important
Submissiveness: not important
Flattery: not important
Openness/Sharing: very important
Intensity: not important
Lightness: not important
Carefulness: important
Fearlessness: somewhat important



Erisad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,058
Location: United States

26 Sep 2010, 12:46 pm

Being employed - Depends on the situation. If he's a student focusing on his studies, that's okay. If he's just a bum leeching off of welfare, that won't do.
Quality of job - Same as above. Besides, it's better to have a minimum wage job than no job at all.
Prospects for future advancement - If it's available to them, great. If not oh well.
Having a car - Fairly important, since I don't drive.
Quality of car - As long as it works I don't care.
Hair style - Keep it clean.
Size of living accommodations - If it suits them, anything's okay.
Good neighborhood - I'd feel safer visiting if it wasn't an area infested with crime.
Nice furniture - As long as it doesn't break, that's fine.
Organized, clean home - Important. It doesn't have to be spotless but try to clean up a bit before you have company.
Muscle tone - Meh. As long as they're healthy.
Skin - I'm more attracted to the paler types. >.>
Smile - Important. I love a man's smile. ^_^
Facial Hair (either way) - keep it clean.
Clothing style - Fits their body shape properly and doesn't make them look like a slob.
Body shape - Same as muscle tone.
Shared interests - Important. It makes it easier to talk to a man and plan activities.
Sensitivity - Important. I can't stand callous jerks but he can't be a sniveling momma's boy either.
Intelligence - Important. Sorry, can't stand morons.
Effort - Important. Lazy people bother me.
Sense of humor - Important. A relationship devoid of laughter isn't healthy.
Confidence - Semi-important. I have self-esteem issues too so I can't really expect them to have high confidence without being a hypocrite.
Courage - Just don't do anything stupid.
Giving attention - Important. I need cuddles and attention.
Sexual prowess - Meh. I don't know what I'm doing either. Yaaay virgins. :D
Flirtation - Meh. As long as he gets his point across, it's okay. I'd prefer a more direct approach though.
Romantic behavior - Important. I'm a writer with lots of romantic fantasies. :D
Persistence - As long as it doesn't lead to abuse or stalking, it's a-o-k.
Respectfulness - Important.
Playfulness - Important.
Spontaneity - I'd prefer to have things planned but I can handle a little spontaneity.
Forethought - Important. Think things through please.
Assertiveness - No sniveling momma's boys or jerks
Aggressiveness - see above
Submissiveness - see above
Flattery - Compliments are good but use them sparingly. It'll be more special that way.
Openness/Sharing - Important. I'm not a mind reader.
Intensity - ...? What kind of intensity? I dunno.
Lightness - ? In weight or what?
Carefulness - See "forethought."
Fearlessness - See Assertiveness.



MotherKnowsBest
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,196

26 Sep 2010, 1:14 pm

Being employed - very important, being unemployed sets alarm bells ringing.
Quality of job - depends on their attitude to what they do. A hardworking street cleaner is better than a banker who can't be arsed.
Prospects for future advancement - sort of important in terms of their character.
Having a car - not important
Quality of car - not important, my husband had a scrap heap with moss growing on the roof when I met him
Hair style - not important so long as it's clean
Size of living accommodations - not important
Good neighborhood - not important
Nice furniture - not important
Organized, clean home - not important, I went out with a guy who'd had his flat for 10 years and hadn't gotten round to buying a vacuum.
Muscle tone - not important
Skin - medium
Smile - very important
Facial Hair (either way) - medium, can't stand facial hair
Clothing style - not important, my husband looks like he mugged a tramp.
Body shape - not important
Shared interests - medium, you have to have some but not all.
Sensitivity - important
Intelligence - very important if they want to keep up with me.
Effort - very important
Sense of humor - very important
Confidence - medium
Courage - important
Giving attention - medium
Sexual prowess - not important
Flirtation - not important
Romantic behavior - not important
Persistence - dunno
Respectfulness - very important
Playfulness - medium
Spontaneity - medium
Forethought - medium
Assertiveness - medium
Aggressiveness - Very important that they don't have any
Submissiveness - dunno
Flattery - not important
Openness/Sharing - very important
Intensity - medium
Light-heartedness - important
Carefulness - dunno
Fearlessness - medium



RainBullet
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 27

26 Sep 2010, 10:59 pm

Being employed - I'd prefer employed. Unemployed for a short period of time (a year or under) is fine.
Quality of job - not important
Prospects for future advancement - important
Having a car - not important
Quality of car - not important
Hair style - as long as you keep it clean, I'm fine with it =)
Size of living accommodations - not important
Good neighborhood - important
Nice furniture - not important
Organized, clean home - semi-important. I don't mind messy, but you need to be able to make it look presentable when required.
Muscle tone - I'd like it, but not necessary
Skin - meh. good skin is a plus, but not necessary
Smile - very high priority :heart:
Facial Hair (either way) - I'd prefer shaven, but I don't mind facial hair as long as you keep it neat
Clothing style - important. I'm not pushy though, you can have your own style as long as you look presentable. Dressing like a hobo is not a turn on. and I hate those guys that wear their pants so low that their butt shows.
Body shape - being fit is a plus, but once again not necessary
Shared interests - I used to think this was important, but I've found that having differing interests can work out quite well.
Sensitivity - very important ^^
Intelligence - important. needs to be able to match my intelligence. Too high and too low are both not good =/
Effort - very important.
Sense of humor - very important. If you can make me laugh all the time, you have my heart already :)
Confidence - meh. I love confident guys, but the shy ones have a certain appeal too
Courage - not important
Giving attention - very important.
Sexual prowess - ?
Flirtation - towards me, not important. I would like it, but I can live without it lol. Don't flirt with other girls though. RAWR.
Romantic behavior - semi-important.
Persistence - with what?
Respectfulness - very important.
Playfulness - important. I'm not that in to the really serious personality types
Spontaneity - not that important. I'm very spontaneous, so it would probably be too much if the guy was as well lol
Forethought - not really. *pokes above* spontaneous. hehe.
Assertiveness - not very important.
Aggressiveness - important. Need to be NON-aggressive
Submissiveness - hmm, relatively important. needs a good balance though
Flattery - not important. I'd prefer no flattery tyvm.
Openness/Sharing - VERY important. I can't be in a relationship where we're not open with each other
Intensity - not important
Light-heartedness - very important!!
Carefulness - not that important. Don't get killed, but don't be over-cautious about everything either
Fearlessness - uhhhh.... depends on the situation? I would like it if you were though.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Sep 2010, 2:22 am

On a scale from 1-10 where 1 is least important and 10 is very important, 5 is neutral.

Being employed: 7
Quality of job: 1
Prospects for future advancement: 10 (in life in general)
Having a car: 3-7 depending on how much I like the guy.
Quality of car: 3
Hair style: 3-9 depending. I may be 10 times more attracted to a guy if he has a hairstyle I like but hairstyles can be easily changed.

Size of living accommodations: 1. Never thought about it. Don't really care.
Good neighborhood: 1
Nice furniture: 1
Organized, clean home: He can't be sloppier than me. No complete neat freaks either, unless he likes to do all the cleaning.

Muscle tone: 5. Average is nice. Toned is a plus, skinny is ok, super buff gym bunny is a turn off.

Skin: 1. If her has acne scars that just makes him look rugged in my book. Not a bad thing.
Smile: 7. Crooked teeth are ok. Rotten teeth are not.
Facial Hair (either way): 5 depends on the guy.
Clothing style: 4
Body shape: 7. Like I said, average is fine. Pregnant is not.
Shared interests: 4. A few things in common are good. Doesn't have to be everything.
Sensitivity: 7. Somewhere in the middle.
Intelligence: 9
Effort: ???? What do you mean?
Sense of humor: 4-6 depending.
Confidence: 10
Courage: 9
Giving attention: 6-7
Sexual prowess: Negotiable
Flirtation: Depends highly on situation.
Romantic behavior: Sometimes, not constantly.
Persistence: I'm a no means no type person. But in life, yes, be persistent with work related goals.

Respectfulness: 10. He has to respect himself as much as me though.
Playfulness: Depends on the situation.
Spontaneity: 7
Forethought: 9
Assertiveness: 9
Aggressiveness: No psychopaths or men with bad tempers.
Submissiveness: No pushovers or mama's boys.
Flattery: Eh?
Openness/Sharing: 9
Intensity: ???
Light-heartedness: Sometimes.
Carefulness: In what way?
Fearlessness: Not to the point of stupidity.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

27 Sep 2010, 4:00 am

Chronos - Intense is is a personality type. It's the opposite of laid back. Intense people like to tease out discussions, to the point of insanity. Laid back people would probably just say "lol whatever - lets go have some fun!" or discuss it for a bit and then get over it without going on an on forever about little things noone even thinks about. Flattery means the guy flatters the woman all the time, in other words brown noses her.

My descriptions seem kinda biased but they are true.

Some women are easily flattered and absolutely LAP it up, or any attention. Others do not want to be treated like that. They don't want a lapdog. They want an equal.

Flattery is not always in the form of words but also actions.



Last edited by hale_bopp on 27 Sep 2010, 4:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

27 Sep 2010, 4:06 am

Got my wife to answer

Quote:
Being employed 9
Quality of job 7
Prospects for future advancement 7
Having a car 7
Quality of car 4
Hair style 8
Size of living accommodations 5
Good neighborhood 5
Nice furniture 4
Organized, clean home 5
Muscle tone 7
Skin 6
Smile 8
Facial Hair (either way) don't care
Clothing style 7
Body shape 7
Shared interests 6
Sensitivity 8
Intelligence 9
Effort 7
Sense of humor 10
Confidence 8
Courage 7
Giving attention 7
Sexual prowess 7
Flirtation 7
Romantic behavior 7
Persistence 7
Respectfulness 9
Playfulness 8
Spontaneity 7
Forethought 7
Assertiveness 6
Aggressiveness 5
Submissiveness 4
Flattery 5
Openness/Sharing 7
Intensity 6
Light-heartedness 6
Carefulness 7
Fearlessness 6

My conclusion:
1. Women are fussy :roll:
2. Why is my wife with me :lol:
3. 8O



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

27 Sep 2010, 4:07 am

nostromo wrote:
Got my wife to answer
Quote:
Being employed 9
Quality of job 7
Prospects for future advancement 7
Having a car 7
Quality of car 4
Hair style 8
Size of living accommodations 5
Good neighborhood 5
Nice furniture 4
Organized, clean home 5
Muscle tone 7
Skin 6
Smile 8
Facial Hair (either way) don't care
Clothing style 7
Body shape 7
Shared interests 6
Sensitivity 8
Intelligence 9
Effort 7
Sense of humor 10
Confidence 8
Courage 7
Giving attention 7
Sexual prowess 7
Flirtation 7
Romantic behavior 7
Persistence 7
Respectfulness 9
Playfulness 8
Spontaneity 7
Forethought 7
Assertiveness 6
Aggressiveness 5
Submissiveness 4
Flattery 5
Openness/Sharing 7
Intensity 6
Light-heartedness 6
Carefulness 7
Fearlessness 6

My conclusion:
1. Women are fussy :roll:
2. Why is my wife with me :lol:
3. 8O


lol! Good answer. I think lists need to be taken with a grain of salt. ;)



nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

27 Sep 2010, 4:16 am

Socrates who was short, bald, ugly and had no job (not to mention no car) wouldn't have got a look in. Nevermind he had a great sense of humour apparently, and was exceedingly clever and considerate. He wouldn't have ticked enough boxes!



ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

27 Sep 2010, 7:15 am

Why isn't there any honesty or fidelity item on that list? I would think most women would want a man that doesn't cheat on her...