In love but cant tell her

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I am an old geaser (42 years) old and there is a lovely lady in a freerecord store. I fell in love with her lovely face. Problem is the age thing: think she is between 20-30. Dont know how far she is of 20 or near 30. Took some couragement to hand over my data (msn, telefone nummer and email). I still cant tell her about my feelings for her . She knows there is something 'wrong' with me. I stuttered when i asked her to contact me.

Couple of weeks ago i got so in love with her and i was 'orbiting' her in the store looking while pretending browsing ...Sometimes i see her alone in the shop but i got shaking across the body and hyperventilations then i run off. But i am happy to see her.

She is the only one who i can talk to about games (she used to play wow on european server). She is nice in contact. Or is that just her 'freerecordshop' form ?

My mother got totally crazy about my lovelost (i cant even get to her) and she does nothing about it. 'Solve your own problems'

I even cant sleep about it. At the same time my pc fell in to fritz with a louse bsod . Computer Shop cant find the flaw .

It is like there is a virus inside of me and there isnt any virusscanner who cant help me. Cant get her out of my head...

is this silly ?

never had a girl friend before or a best friend before ? I have some friends but none i cant talk about this ...

ok , you are not in love with her, you are attracted to her. you don't know her well enough yet, i think.

How do i get her out of my system ?

It's probably not what you want to hear, but the only way to do that is to stay completely away from her vicinity of work. Don't go back there. Plus, if your behavior becomes too invasive, it could get you in trouble although you meant no harm. People can be tricky like that.

There's no easy way to get over the emotion (not "her", because you were never in love with her, you don't know her, and she is not part of the equation). You just have to force yourself not to think about it for an sufficient amount of time.

I'd be very scared and freaked out by your behavior, if I was this woman. After all she works there, she can't get away from the situation.

never been in contact with a women ever so sorry about my behavior..i have to tell her that aswell so she knows i am not chasing her...but she wanted to give my info to her collegues so i would have more friends but i refused it , maybe i shouldnt have. I am glad i did have breathly a few mins of time with her...it is up to her if she wants to contact me or not or tell me to let her loose, i cant tell. I must try to control my emotions or i must evade her for a while...But the point is the shop is on my way to the center of town so i alwayts pass it ....also i must to learn to 'work' with women. I have some friends who are women but they are not from my neighborhood /country. She is both from my country and city and she also plays games...

I think you're right in waiting for her to contact you if she wants to. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm (and I don't know what actually happened, just what I interpreted from you).

Damn. You might as well start looking at plots of to get buried in 42 isn't old by a long shot (at least it hasn't been considered old in the last few hundred years).



Doesn't matter. Age is just a number. If you click, you click.



You're getting creepy.



Yeah, it's your problem but you do have something in common to talk about.



No, not silly at all. You're infatuated with the pretty young girl at the record store and because there's probably fewer distractions in your life - things which would diverge your interest, you gravitate towards this one. It's not a crime and it's how relationships usually start.

So welcome to WP, we're all pretty atypical here and more similar to you than most of your friends would likely be.

One time, I asked a girl at a coffee shop to go with me to New York on a whim (we were on the West Coast and I struck up a couple of conversations with her over the span of 6 months). She of course said no, but that didn't hurt or matter because of the way I brought it up. IF she wanted to go, she could have had a good time (was a pianist and there were some concerts she was interested in going to). So no, you're not strange.

First you have to get over your nervousness with her. If a simple conversation with her causes you to vibrate, then imagine going on a date and the anxiety of meeting her in a semi-formal situation (okay, it may be easier, but I plan for the worse). How do you do this? Just talk to her. Make sure you're NOT going to ask her out this time or that time, that'll relieve some of the pressure. You can talk about WoW, her job, records or whatever. Just come over as the "friendly guy" and get to know her without the pressure of trying to find the right time to ask her out.

Second, once you feel comfortable with just saying "hi" and engaging in small talk - hopefully by that time you'll have enough background information to understand what she likes and would like to do. Do a little research and figure out IF she said yes, what you would want to do with her.

E.g. The girl I was chatting up in the coffee shop (I found out) like music, and then played the piano, and then liked going to concerts but there weren't any local in the SF Bay Area she was interested in. She had gone to NY and did enjoy the music scene there (got me what that is, I'm not a musician) so thought I'd ask.

If she says no - it's not the end of the world and it actually might help moderate your feelings. If she says yes, well you're already off to a good foundation and since you did your research and planned you might be considered "aww, considerate" if things did work out.

Just my .02

if she ever asks me what i want then i say friendship and i keep the love for her my little dark secret

Your feelings and reaction seem utterly normal to me as I remember them when I had crushes on girls. In fact your descriptions bring back strong memories i have not thought about for a long time.
I can't give you any really useful advice though But I hope you realize you are not alone
All I ever did was pine for them until eventually the feeling went away because I was too scared to do anything else.. All infatuation does I think fade mostly in the end, and so too feeling 'in love' - at least it did for me.

Hope I'm not misunderstood but this actually reassures me. I've been used/rejected so often that I began to thing men were not

capable of passionate love. I still stand by what I said that what the OP is describing is not real love because he doesn't know her

well enough, but that's just semantics. He really likes her and thinks she's very attractive is the real matter of the situation.

Actually OP taking that stance will help you if it turns out she's not completely what you imagine her to be.

the point is that she is so withy , so funny , so smart , so nice to talk to , to lovely to look at .Maybe that is why i am 'attracted' to her. Still i dont think it is just attraction otherwise i dont have those lovesick emotions about her during two weeks. I feel a bit hard broken because of lack of conversation between us.Maybe she is 'shocked' why i asked her she alone would contact me. She doesnt know my good and honest intentions and she doesnt know that i care about her...

Don't treat her like an object. She's more than just honest intentions and attractiveness and computer games and good behavior.

She's more than that. Don't classify her down to her bare essentials. She makes her choices and she chooses what to do when you talk to her or when you don't talk to her.

If you want to limit your choices, than go for it. But don't try to control her with what you feel is good or bad for her.

Be authentic unto yourself. Don't betray your feelings but don't betray yourself either.

and in understandable language ?

Your 42 years old and youve never had a girlfreind?

I was 40 before I had a boyfriend. He was just using me, but I'm grateful for my lovely Aspie son that came from that relationship.