She's human :-/

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There's someone I know who is very close to me. I realised that I had developed feelings for her. Problem is that she's married. Last year, I happened to over hear her saying that she might be pregnant. That shocked me to the core. I had never thought of her as having desires or urges or being intimate with her husband. I was so taken a back by this that I relapsed and spent a week and half in a psych ward. I guess my problem is that I don't see people that way. Has anyone had a similar problem?

I'm confused. You thought she wouldn't want to have sex with her husband?

I get kind of naive about that kind of stuff. A few times in situations where a friend tells me she's pregnant or when out with friends and the couple makes the announcement I always have to take a moment when i realize "oh ya, I guess they are having sex, they are married" because I kind of do get in that mentallity that all they are are what I see of them. Same as Hale with her teachers when I was a kid, I thought what they did when I encountered them was their entire life, cops were cops 24/7, from waking up to going to bed, that kind of thing.

I'm more the exact opposite.

^^ Yup.

Everyone is doing it.

Kids in my HS were doing each other. It was hard to keep track of who was with who.

People at work have sex with each other, and thus cheat on their spouses.

I'm in network engineering so I can see married people surfing hookup sites and escort sites.

On two separate occassions, people at the office got caught having sex. Both times only one of the partners was fired. Go figure.

Etc...

Everyone is doing it.

I realise that everyone does it. It was just the shock I felt when I thought about it for the first time.

Ahh, that can come as a shock. Sorry...

They do poo poos too. Just so there's no more surprises.

Yep, when the kid sister of my childhood best friend got knocked up I recognized that just about everybody is having sex if they can. I think I will always see her as a little kid, sometimes annoying, but innocent and naive. I try not to think about it. It can get depressing and be a shot to my ego.

That's funny. Not that you ended up in a psych ward, just the comment on having it slip past you that she'd have her own sexuality.

People tend to hide this IRL. I think there are a lot of reasons. You can pretty much count on it that most people where many masks, there are ample sides to them, your simply seeing one fascade. I have for instance a couple twins who lived down the street (girls) who also have and older brother - they're devout nondenominationals, ie. their parents had them listening to nothing but Christian music (Christian pop, Christian rap, Christian progressive rock), the older brother just got back from 10 years of missionary work in China, the twins are librarians/teachers in Virginia I think? All still very wholesome but, I would have a hard time - if they were married - imaging them being stagnant than not having a sexual identity within their marriages, if it was really like that they wouldn't be here, we'd have aging devout religious couple who had no kids or adopted a bunch from third world countries.

I can I guess relate to something like what Hale mentioned, ie. when I was in 4th grade I went to a restaurant with my parents and saw my art teacher drunk with her friends. Not that it rattled me but, the mode of conduct did seem very different. When you're only used to seeing adults as authority figures and not used to seeing them behave like a peer (perhaps not to you but to people with them) its a bit of a new experience. As you get older, expecially after your teens, that gap starts falling off. My boss and my bosses' boss - one's in his late 40's, the other is sixty, I call them by their first names rather than Mr. ____. Life just shifts like this, and unless someone has a very high office or place in society relationships that used to be deemed 'vertical' are much closer to diagonal.