Obsession and attraction

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Though I rarely find anyone I am attracted to I seem to only become attracted if I start an obsession cycle over someone. I have had women want to date me but I just don't see them as someone I want entering my personal space much less kissing!. I recently met the first woman I actually wanted to date (as opposed to them wanting to date me) since my first real relationship 11 yrs ago, this was huge for me!. We had a instant connection and electricity I thought of her constantly though we only made out once she was the focus of my fantasies. She stopped coming around and I asked her if she still wanted to date me she made it very clear she did while unbeknown to me she had a BF and a different girl!! ! needless to say I was crushed, after confronting her I came to discover she was a compulsive lair!! !! ! so my instincts and obsession led me astray I became to victim of a con artist who saw I was willing to do anything for her and I couldnt even tell she was lying, I somehow cant comprehend that others arent as honest as I. So the point is how many DXed aspies out there are able to acheive being attracted to somone without obsessing????

I can be both, more obsessive earlier on (of course) but the more women disappoint me the less I give a s**t.

It all depends on just how much I like them.

I've been obsessed with women but not attracted to them, obsession and crushing are two things and often people get them confused.

Over the past year I have obsessed over about 3 or 4 people, all men from the company I used to work for. Some did not last long, some did.

One was a romantic obsession, because when I saw the guy up close I instantly stopped obsessing over him because he wasn't that attractive to me any more.

Two I'm not sure about. I think I long time obsessed over a dude, but i'm not sure if it was romantic. I was just nuts on him.. more of a I want you in my life way.. hard to explain. Hes the sort of guy most people thought looked pretty average, for some reason I was completely fascinated with him.

One lasted a few months and I'm unsure what that was either. More of a friends type of way maybe.

One I denied for a long time and ended up falling in love with him.

Every woman I have fell in love with becomes a obsession. As far as me acting on the obsession in an appropriate way can go either way. One extreme, nearly daily texts and then on the other, complete avoidance. I have been trying really hard to find some middle ground here.