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Live and Let Live: Yes Preferences are Limiting but . . . .

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HopefulRomantic
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20 Oct 2010, 6:55 am

everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?



Last edited by HopefulRomantic on 20 Oct 2010, 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aimless
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20 Oct 2010, 7:14 am

Unfortunately, I agree with you, so you'll get no fight from me. :)



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20 Oct 2010, 7:22 am

Aimless wrote:
Unfortunately, I agree with you, so you'll get no fight from me. :)

+1



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20 Oct 2010, 8:04 am

Who knew we were harboring such radicals here on the Wrong Planet?


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LostAlien
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20 Oct 2010, 8:22 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?

Possibly.

Also possible is that the insulters have no way to argue their point (and remain respectful) and thus resort to hurtful words.

Also possible, that the insulters have a less worldly view and thus think their way is the only way things should be, thus justifying bad behaviour.

Or it could simply be that some people are jerks.

There could be other reasons but I just can't think of them at the moment.



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20 Oct 2010, 8:25 am

A person's choice for a partner is their choice. If not, then maybe I should go contest the marriage of the woman I like the look of.



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20 Oct 2010, 11:25 am

I also agree as well. We are all different and ve all have different values, in this area.


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20 Oct 2010, 11:37 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?


I have preferences, but there's no way i'd every meet a woman that met every single one of them (or even half of them)... which is why i usually ignore most of my preferences and focus on the one thing i can't control: whether she likes me back or not...



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20 Oct 2010, 12:40 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I have preferences, but there's no way i'd every meet a woman that met every single one of them (or even half of them)... which is why i usually ignore most of my preferences and focus on the one thing i can't control: whether she likes me back or not...


But I think the point is, still, you are the one who should decide which of your preferences you're willing to ignore, and which you aren't. Some people hold out for the whole long list of what they'd like, and never find anyone, while others settle for the first person they can get. That is just another area where every individual should make their own choice. Any preference from 'alive and interested' all the way to 'must match every quality I'd like and look exactly like the picture I have in my mind' is reasonable, for someone. Yes, some people are more likely to find a partner than others, but they're free to adjust their standards whenever they realise that. There is absolutely nothing about granting each person's freedom to have their own preferences which says otherwise.


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20 Oct 2010, 12:43 pm

HopefulRomantic wrote:
Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?


No, the people doing the insulting mistakenly believe that making another 'miserable' will bring them satisfaction, pleasure, or happiness.


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