How do you stop crushing on someone who can accept you?
Okay so I admit I have a similar topic at Members-Only Discussion but I accidently posted it there so I decided to repost it here instead.
The title says it all. Currently I'm trying to do just that. The girl I have a crush on currently is a celeb crush (but I'm not gonna say her name) and also advocates for Autism. But the problem is that she's got a boyfriend. I've been under some distress since yesterday. Not only that, me and my pals have formed this disability rights group of sorts to help raise awareness and I can't afford to have this issue affect my psyche. I need to end this issue so that I can help others effectively and be a proper role model. So anyone know how to? ![]()
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Hello, friends.
Meet other women. You may not be able to stop being attracted to her (and there's nothing necessarily wrong with that) but if you feel too fixated on one person, directing your thoughts towards a range of other people may help. If you really are obsessed you may need time, perhaps weeks, to get over your infatuation.
I share some of your principles in that if a woman is taken I won't be all that forward with her, though it wouldn't necessarily make me lose hope entirely. A better reason for ending your supposed fixation is that you do not know this person.
I share some of your principles in that if a woman is taken I won't be all that forward with her, though it wouldn't necessarily make me lose hope entirely. A better reason for ending your supposed fixation is that you do not know this person.
I agree with this commentary. As you appear to be a honorable gentleman, your conscience gets in the way of making advances toward a woman who is emotionally unavailable due to being in a committed relationship.
Perhaps, Shakespeare said it best: "To thine own self be true" and "Discretion is the better part of valor." In short, at the end of the day honor and excellence of character is defined by our actions and decorum. Remaining steadfast to your own personal code of ethics is probably your best course of action!
Good Luck!
In terms of crushes, if you really like someone, or at least your perception of them, then you should theoretically wish positive things of them, even at your own expense.
If you cannot do this then it's not really the other person you care for and you are driven by entirely self centered motives.
For example, if I liked some guy a lot, and found out he was married, I would not want anything negative to come upon this man so, even if I had an opportunity to win his heart, I wouldn't take it, as doing so would be unfair to his wife and destroy his marriage. In fact, I'd probably ask how his wife was every time I saw him, just to remind him of her.
I would also reason that, as I haven't become close to this man, I don't really know him. So at the moment, whatever it is I liked about him would be superficial. A lot of times people are not attracted to the person themselves, but their superficial impression of the person along with whatever embellishments they have formulated in their mind. In other words, the person they like does not really exist.
And last, I would realize there are a lot of people in the world. There is probably someone similar to this man out there, who isn't taken. I just need to find him. So why would I waste my time with this man who is not available when I could be looking for a similar man who is?
HopeGrows
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Stop fantasizing about her. No matter what the nature of your fantasies (sexual, having a relationship, living together, etc.), your fantasies are feeding your feelings for her. If you want the feelings to diminish, stop imagining a relationship, life, sex, etc. with her. It may take a while, but your crush will dissipate and eventually fade to non-existence. Good luck.
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What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful...
You aren't in love with your husband?
If you cannot do this then it's not really the other person you care for and you are driven by entirely self centered motives.
For example, if I liked some guy a lot, and found out he was married, I would not want anything negative to come upon this man so, even if I had an opportunity to win his heart, I wouldn't take it, as doing so would be unfair to his wife and destroy his marriage. In fact, I'd probably ask how his wife was every time I saw him, just to remind him of her.
I would also reason that, as I haven't become close to this man, I don't really know him. So at the moment, whatever it is I liked about him would be superficial. A lot of times people are not attracted to the person themselves, but their superficial impression of the person along with whatever embellishments they have formulated in their mind. In other words, the person they like does not really exist.
And last, I would realize there are a lot of people in the world. There is probably someone similar to this man out there, who isn't taken. I just need to find him. So why would I waste my time with this man who is not available when I could be looking for a similar man who is?
Hey if I have a crush on any girl, that's girl's happiness comes before mine. I have honor, alright?
I'm trying to get rid of that but so far, it's been hard for me. I'm still trying my best though.
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Hello, friends.
