asking out a muslim

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I know this girl, she's sweet and personable, and I'm not sure if she's into me, but we're comfortable enough to where I think it's not unreasonable to ask for a date. No harm in asking, right? She's muslim- she wears the burka. Can someone tell me whether it's taboo to date outside their religion? Are there any muslims here that could tell me how her family might react?

best way to find out is to just try RESPECTFULLY. Something like

I'd never wish to cross a bridge Im not allowed... but would it be out of line IF(accentuating IF playfully, even saying it a couple times(or like BIG IF), add a hypothetically speaking) I asked you out?

"if she says like on a date", you instantly(and deadpanned/emotionless, or sarcasticly) say no, I wanted to go to library and read together..... let her laugh it off then say but seriously, I've noticed I enjoy your company, and I'd like to indulge in it a little more, see who you are when you're ACTUALLY trying to impress me....
(as in you believe she's gonna say yes anyways)
you know, make her know instantly what you're asking but do it in a manner thats new, fresh, interesting, not just, you wanna go on a date. Thats the biggest problem guys have with chatting up women. A girl can get chit chat from anyone, she wants to either LOVE what she sees(just like us guys), or ENJOY whats she's hearing.

if she says only if you become muslim (and if thats a problem), you joke it off like, what's allah like, if he's as nice as you I might join his teaparty.... but only IF theres a seat by you.....(wait for response)(if she's political as well as being religious, thats solid gold, otherwise take out the tea unless you're in england)

But how her family might react? You cant think that fast, that far ahead. You dont even know if a dates in the cards yet, cant worry about acceptance from her family. Just wonder if she enjoys your company as much as you do hers... Beisdes, times have changed and 9/11 changed many muslim families, in america at least, into cutting down extremist views/uses of scripture/societal rules. All that matters to a smart set of parents is a guy that wants to take care of their daughter, never think of hurting her. So as long as you fit the bill, why not go for it? you got a 50 50 shot, thats bettin odds...

BAD idea! You're essentially making fun of the Muslim god. While it's not going to turn the whole world against you, like with the Mohammed cartoonist, it won't make the girl think highly of you, either, and that's in the best case. Muslims tend to be more strongly religious than Jews or Christians, so don't make any jokes about their religion, with a possible exception of you being a Muslim yourself, which you're not.

Want to verify what I just posted? Google "Muslim humor", then "Jewish humor" or "Christian humor", and compare the number of results you find. Big difference.

I concur with Aspie1, don't make fun of her religon. Most of what Emoal6 said may help though. It's good that you know that she may be uncomfortable with this.

My own advice would be a little different (and perhaps childish) but asking a mutial female friend to subtly check how she feels about you. If she (the girl you're talking about) comes back to you annoyed/distressed then you can say you knew nothing about it and keep the friendship. I'm not muslim but I'm female and I've lost friendships with guys because they asked me out when I was only interested in being friends. Although, they kept pushing it, so, this girl may be more at ease with a direct aproach but I view this may be a better option than being direct (if it's possible).

Wait a second, the burka? For your sake, I'm hoping that you've misunderstood the various terms, 'cause if she's really wearing one of these then she/her family is probably a bit too extreme in their beliefs to allow anything.

The burka, or the hijab?

If it's the burka, there's no hope for you.

If it's the hijab, it depends on the girl. I was convinced all Muslims were conservatives and obedient until I saw one girl wearing a hijab who was also wearing makeup, high heels, and form-fitting clothes. You better bet this girl doesn't care what her parents think about her dating you.

If she's "sweet and personable," though, there's a good chance she won't date outside of her religion and you'll only confuse her by asking her out. Don't ask, don't bother, move on.

Stop being so condescending.

You know what... I don't know. I guess I ought to learn the difference.

Okay, I just learned the difference. It's just the hijab.

Not at all.



She'd be the best person to ask; otherwise you're working with what people think they know--even if the information is solid.



Again, a better question for her to answer.



Your best bet is to just ask; skip trying to learn before hand how she or her family handle their religious beliefs. Additionally, if you get turned down, respectfully accept it and acknowledge that you respect whatever decision she makes, for whatever reason.

Naturally I did just that but was suprised at the results. There were 20 million hits for Christian humor compared to 3 million hits for Muslim humor. I expected that. What I found surprising was a mere 300 thousand hits for Jewish humor. I'm an American and in the U.S. there is a strong entertainment tradition of Jewish comediens so I really expected more. From the Borscht Belt to Jerry Seinfeld to the entire cast of all Judd Apatow movies (plus Judd Apatow himself of course) and many, many more and only 300 thousand hits?

I am not the best Muslim since I am culturally-Muslim atheist , but I might be the closest candidate here.

If she's really wearing a burqa then her parents would react the same way of KKK parents would react to a black guy trying to ask their daughter out.

If it's hijab , it would still be quasi-impossible to accept him unless he commits to convert.


and oh , if the veiled girl wears full make-up tight full-ass-showing jeans and pink tight tops that doesn't mean that she or her family are tolerant toward other religions and would accept marrying them. Heck, even if she doesn't wear any hijab would not necessarily means that ,too.

Sometimes, the only difference between a fundie in burqa and a fundie with no kind of veil is just the outer appearance , it's so common that both types have the same rotten inner side.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 20 Oct 2010, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Don't forget the chador as well.

Boo! I never even saw that you were in Beirut. One of my favorite students (yes teachers definitely have favorites ) was from Lebanon. His Arabic was so beautiful. I think I prefer it over the Egyptian Arabic I hear a lot at work.

Ask her if she screams Jesus Christ in the midst of passion with a man. That should tell you everything you need to know.


Seriously, just ask her if she is interested in men outside of her religion as a topic of conversation. You can use it as a discussion point to talk about Islam and it's beliefs. If she says it is no problem, then you can simply segue onto a more personal level and ask if she would consider dating you for example. Really, it should be easier than asking out some random girl because you can treat it as if she is educating you about something you know nothing about. If she doesn't seem interested then you can just act if it was a hypothetical example, and if she is interested then she will probably give you easy to read cues to go ahead and ask her out. Now, if only I could come up with this stuff for myself.

I don't know if this applies at all, but when I was in college I sort of hung out with a Muslim guy - we were interested in each other, but it just never took off. Maybe it was because he was a guy rather than a girl and we were in college, and his family was very far away but his religion was never a very big part of our conversations, even though he was quite religious. He was a complete gentleman and actually never even physically touched me.

A couple of years ago, I worked with two Muslim girls (sisters). They did not even wear a hijab, just had normal western style clothes. But they were so quiet and reserved, I wouldn't have bothered making a move if I had interest in one of them.

the black burqas make them look like ninjas