Why do I fear relationships?

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I'm a female and ever since I went through puberty I've had guys wanting a relationship with me. The only way to avoid it is to stay home everyday, but of course I can't do that as I have to have some kind of a life.

The problem is that when guys start talking to me I think "great, I might be finally making a friend"...but then they start wanting a relationship. I have never just been friends with a guy. It's always led to them wanting to be with me, me saying no and them never talking to me again. I worry that if I say that I will be in a relationship with them then they will want sex, and I hate the thought of doing it.
I know that sounds childish but in terms of my social experience, I do feel like a child!

How can I get over my fear of being in an intimate relationship? I am tired of losing potential friends because of this.

I think a lot of women have this problem. "friends" end up wanting relationships. Its also hard to be friends with a guy who is in a relationship.

Don't give in and be in a relationship if you want friends.

This happens to a friend of mine quite alot. She makes friends with a guy, but then realises that he fancies her when she only wants to be friends. She is such a bouncy person that I think they misinterperet her normal behaviour as interest in them. So you are not alone. Most of my male friends are married to my female friends so I find that means there are no mix ups. They know I am not interested in them and I know they are not interested me. That's all I can suggest, find male friends who are already in a relationship.

Sorry I don't think this has anything to do with the guy having or not a relationship. I have guys friends that are and are not in relationships. I am wondering If this has more to do with your ability to portray or not your real feelings. I find that if you are clear about what you feel (no flirting for example if you just want to be friends) then there are not misunderstandings. This may go back again to the AspieS difficulty of expressing clearly what they feel. Just a thought.

This is pretty confusing. You're asking why you fear relationships. On the other hand, you also state that you hate the thought of having sex, which pretty much answers your question.

i was the same as a teenager. the problem you're experiencing might come from the fact that, seeing that all your guy friend end up wanting a relationship with you, you feel they never wanted to be your friend anyway,and had their mind set on sex mode from day one. And how can you have a relationship with someone who doesn't like you?
the thing you need to realise is that guys fall in love easier AFTER the relationship has started. They react totally in the opposite way you do. If you want a relationship, you will have to find a guy you like and just enter the relationship not considering what he feels for you, because he may very well feel nothing but lust. It's quite normal for a guy. the feelings come to them after sex, if they ever do.
Now if you want your guy friends to remain friends, you got good advice above, be clear about it from day one in your attitude ( you are not supposed to SAY it, they would get defensive...) just say the word friend from time to time so they know where they stand.
hope this helps...

It's just that you're not mentally ready for that kind of interaction and that's fine. I didn't date until I was 17 or kiss until I was 19. If sex is all these guys wanted from you, they aren't real friends. They're jerks and aren't worth your time anyway.

I think this is kind of harsh. You're assuming that men are good at reading intention. They are not. And quite honestly, you can be very clear with body language and verbal expression that you're just not interested, and STILL some people will pursue you. They view this as a challenge. Women do this too.

I don't see how blaming the OP is helpful here. There's a very reasonable chance that she's not doing anything wrong. As for your assertion that you have male friends who don't want a relationship - this is a long running disagreement many people will have. I personally have NEVER had a male friend that did not want to date me at one point or another in the relationship. They wouldn't always admit it right away, but they would at some point. Other times, other MEN would tell me that was what the friendship was about because they could read things that I didn't notice.

OP relationships are confusing and complicated. If you're not comfortable getting into one, there is nothing wrong with that at all. And sometimes guys will ask you out just because they want to be physical - hormones and immaturity make for a very bad mix. Stick to your guns.

the few times that guys have appeared to flirt with me, i feel so nervous that i cannot even enjoy it. its like being afraid of happiness.

@ Countess, I agree with you, there will be men that will still "try" even though you are sending clear signals you are not interested in them in that way. Some may take it as a challenge as you suggest and some may just be very bad at reading body language or people intentions. Some, not ALL though. When there is a constant pattern in anything that happens to us, we need to wonder how we contribute to that pattern. I just gave her something to think about.

I definately understand this... I've probably had it easier than you, but I've still lost a couple of good friends because they wanted more than that from me. Apparently I did generally give the impression of not really being interested in that sort of thing - not sure how I managed it though other than just generally wearing fairly ungirly clothes.
Personally I didn't feel ready for sex or a relationship until I was about 21, and one of the best side effects of having a boyfriend is the fact that the guys I'm friends with now all know that I'm taken.

That's for all the replies.
I can sort of see where some of you are coming from in regards to him wanting a challenge. I've heard about people "playing hard to get", but I was pretty sure that I was not giving off that impression. Maybe I can't read myself as well as I think I can. He told me that the first day he met me he was interested in a relationship but with me, the first day I met him I was too busy focusing on not making a strange first impression.