It can be so hard starting a converstaion out of the blue!

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I've been in college for the last ten years, so I've had my share of trials with women in libraries or the cafeteria or study. I've been doing this for awhile now- you know, you pretend to be interested in something about them, they start talking about it, they drop hints about their interests and lives and you go from there, but it's still so hard sometimes! So easy to end up at a dead end. I just wanted to throw that out there for the hell of it. I'm sure others here can commiserate.

Library/study chatting is challenging already -- not everyone who does that (I would even say most) want to talk to someone. So if the conversation dies, maybe that is your cue to exit -- gotta leave them wanting more, and don't stay too long or risk getting booed off the "stage."

But, that being said, just try to be a good listener, and when they run out of steam, ask for clarification or more info on something they mentioned. I would resist talking about yourself other than little snippets -- if they bite, tell more, but make the conversation about them, not you.

Why do you have to pretend to be interested? Can't you just be interested?

I am, but not in a way I can let them know of up front. It doesn't work that way in my experience.

Find something about that person that stands out, but not in a vulgar way and use that as an icebreaker. But libraries aren't a place to start a conversation. If you feel yourself lock up, end the conversation and walk away.

Yes, just turn the conversation back towards them. Say you would like to know more about that or that interests you too. Get them to explain something and just throw in a comment here or there. Get them to smile or laugh at something is a good idea. Tell them you have to go before the conversation dries out. If you seem to be clicking together say something like I need to go grab some lunch and see if they want to come with you to continue the conversation. If not, tell them you see them around.