I am infatuated with someone, how do I make it stop?

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Let me start out by saying I hate being infatuated! It is like a drug...I need more and more attention from this person each day to get my fix otherwise I am devastated, and depressed. I am always thinking of her...pretty much consumes my thoughts all day long. I would like it to stop!

I know the most logical solution is, but humans, myself included are not logical (stupid feelings! Why do we have them?), and simply cutting her off is going to be near impossible. If it works out like it has in the passed, my need for more and more attention from this girl will lead her to feeling smothered, and then cut me off from her (this has happened many times before ).

So, how can I stop this without having to cut her out of my life.


If you are interested in the particulars, here they are:

I have never physically seen this girl in person...we just met in Videochat a few weeks ago, now we either do that or IM 4-6 hours a day everyday. (I wake up early to talk to her) She lives in Florida, and I in Wisconsin...I am fairly sure she does not see anything in me except someone to talk to. I like talking to her, but knowing that I will never meet her in person let alone have any kind of relationship with her but still cant stop crushing on her.

Help!

ah l'amore ...

I should write down what you feel for her, ponder about it and paraphrase it so you could casually talk with her about it. A tip: Don't hit the ground running
Just get it out of you're system, it gives trouble if you don't (regrets, concentration loss, heartache, etc.)

I don't know why it would be impossible to meet, it's not if she's on another planet (literally).
I don't know how old you are, but if you are between sixteen and twentyfive it's pretty normal to have these feelings - Hell, you're hormones drive you at that age.

Just ask to be "friends" if the feelings isn't really mutual.

Okay Lemmiwinks...smother her like you did to others before...and see if you drive her away...
because if smothering a potential mate is who you are, then just be yourself and see what happens. Some people long to be smothered. If she runs away, then you'll be done with it. When people infatuate on others, their body releases endorphins (happy makers). You are generating the release of your own endorphins by infatuating on someone. If somebody would stay with you in a relationship and things would level out to where you get to know the actual person and things become routine, you can see whether it was them you wanted or the endorphins that your body was generating due to the stimulation of a new contact or the potential you thought it could have.
The depression is the want of the drug. You just may be one of those people who have an addictive personality. I am one. I'm close to 50 now and have been married for many years. BUT when I was in my teens and twenties, I never had a relationship go longer than two weeks. I didn't get dumped. I did the dumping, because after two weeks, the fireworks were gone and I felt bored and frustrated and needed a new high. I keep myself very attractive to men and had no problem going from bed to bed until the high wore off. Then, it was just simply "move on to the next unsuspecting victim". Something happened when I turned 30. It was as if something shut off in my head. I stopped wearing make-up, high heels, and sexy cloths. I started to become very health conscience, started to eat right and lift weights. I liked sneakers! Other people stopped giving me that high. It was as though it was GONE!! Shorty after, I met my husband and we married. I am happy with him even after all these years. But the weird thing was this happened overnight as if someone fixed my brain. I can barely describe it. All the feelings I had after this change felt pure and real not like they were wrapped up in cheap, shiny tinsel. It would be best described as a re-birth...like I came home.

I like how you described that. That's really fascinating for some reason.

If you're that infatuated with someone, it's usually impossible to be "just friends" with her. Cut her off temporarily and see if the feelings would go away. If not, ask her out already. It's usually a lot easier to get over someone once you've actually rejected, and real friendship is more likely to resume than if you just sit there and act like her friend while secretly thinking she could've done so much better than all those jerks she's been dating. And hoping she'd open her eyes one day and realize that the Right Guy (i.e., you) has been in front of her all along.

Last edited by menintights on 23 Nov 2010, 1:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I like it too, because it vindicates and proves my theory about female mindset and valuation of males after a certain age. In this case, RightGalaxy had the change a bit older than the norm (I would say it happens earlier usually, like 27 or so), but it still happened.

Men have their own version, where they decide they finally need to have kids and settle down.

That doesn't explain people like me though. I've wanted to just "settle down" since I was 19 or so. Does that make me abnormal and overly weird to want that much earlier than my peers?