WTF?

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So today was my big semi-annual date. She lives closer to downtown LA than I do so I suggested a fashionable coffee-house in West Hollywood. I spend a good part of my day trying on every single thing in my wardrobe in every possible combination (and I have a LOT of clothes) trying to get everything just right. I leave way early to allow for traffic. I get about 5 miles away and see a plume of smoke ahead on the freeway and lots of brake lights going off. Doesn't look good so I text my date that I am running a little late but will be there soon. About 30 minutes after our date was scheduled I call her to tell her that I will be another 15 minutes. She says that our meeting will have to be short because she has to leave in 30 minutes.

She only scheduled 1 hour for our date and didn't bother to tell me.

So I tell her to just leave, I turn around and go home and I get there 3 hours later.

So no date at all, even if I was there on time she still would have said "see you later" after 1 hour, after I had driven all that way...

What did I do to deserve this? I am doing everything I can to "put myself out there" like I am supposed to but all I do is get treated like sh!t...

Maybe I DO suck after all.

Although I don't know the details, it seems that she didn't schedule 1 hour, she just was mad that you are late. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that you might lose your clothes at the end of the date.

It doesn't seem to me like there was any other motive behind this. Just seems like bad luck. A lot of people have to schedule their time, I wouldn't get offended. A lot of people don't have plenty of spare time. Can't you see it as someone made the time to meet up with you? Besides, if it went well you would arrange to meet up again, so it doesn't matter if its only an hour.

These things happen, perhaps she's been stood up before so was immediately defensive? If she's only able to see you for an hour, trust me, it's less strain on her time to reschedule entirely, you don't know what else is happening in her life, and the fact she went out of her way to see you, even for just an hour, and wait around when you were running late indicates to me she really did want to see you.

Perhaps next time spend less time on clothes and try to arrive a bit early.

I'd never want to live in LA/OC. And West Hollywood is the Castro of LA.

Sucks about the girl though, we somehow get the short end of the stick...

Next time you'll have a better idea of what clothes to wear without having to go through them all, so that's nice.

Bad luck on the traffic. Reschedule? And maybe leave earlier next time to allow for congestion.

She might have deliberately gave you an hour in case you're really weird or bad company (which I'm sure you're not, but she doesn't know that).

An hour is quite a long time to give to an unknown quantity.

Thanks everyone for the feedback (I'll just ignore the LA bashing)

I can only speculate as to her motives, but I still think that she should have told me that she only had one hour to meet, otherwise I would have rescheduled for a time when she was less busy.

I knew that traffic would be bad, and I left plenty of time for this. I could not have reasonably anticipated the car fire though.

It just seems like I've had an unusual extended streak of bad luck (this is not the only dating disaster I've had this week). I would settle for just one boring date that didn't involve some sort of petty humiliation or insult - is that too much to ask?

I don't think you were humiliated or insulted... I think you should attempt to reframe what occurred as something more emotionally neutral; it really wasn't as bad as you are making out, unless I'm missing some detail.

It just sounds like failure to plan from both sides. Her behavior does raise all kinds of questions: as in we don't know if she's a doctor, lawyer, or in some other profession where her time is in fact not fully her own (ie. that she wouldn't have had a choice). We also don't know how long you guys talked, if things ever warmed up on Match.com to where she showed a distinct interest in you vs. just agreeing to a date.

Mind you, I live in a major city but its one that's been on the population fall for decades so - I can just about get across town in 30 minutes given the right time of day. If I were in that situation and had to plan ahead, if it is considered common courtesy to leave early to get to a particular area of town to - say - shop, get something done that I needed to in order to know that I could get to the date on time, I'd do it. If not pre-planning can be a deal breaker and the girl in question proved that she was worth the trouble, I'd just be sure that I planned for aberrations - especially if they're common.

That said though, I think that's the only lesson going forward - not that you're a loser, just do things differently the next time. That and, if a girl is all the way across town, you may want to find someone who's cool enough to be understanding of just how far you need to travel and can understand if she calls you straight over from work and you don't get there for two or three hours? Otherwise, if someone needs you to bend the laws of physics when you have a hard beginning time set - they either need to find a guy who has different hours than they do, or, they need to just try for the guy in the next apartment over.