I'm not too sure what it is exactly...it's probably many things wrapped into one...whether it would be fear of rejection, my high school experience, low self-esteem and conidence...but now that I'm in college, I have talked to a few girls in my classes but have never closed the deal, mainly because I have no experience and have no idea how to ask...but for some reason I like the chase of trying to get there and the frustrations that come along with it, I'm not sure if I'm in a shell or something but I feel like I would rather not try and fear rejection and just continue to wonder what if?...even though it makes me upset thinking about it like the one girl who I mentioned last time in my stats class...she dropped the class over thanksgiving break, which was the deadline to drop and in her last class she didn't sit next to me like usual but one seat behind that and talked to some other girl.
So I missed another chance but I like the feeling of contiuing my quest while I get upset about still having no real friends of the opposite sex...do I have a problem, like I feel I'm trapped in a feeling of self-pity? would that be the way to describe it...I don't know I'm really confused on what's wrong up there...I need to figure it out...any suggestion or reasons?
01 Dec 2010, 1:03 am
