How can one NT make one Aspie feel very much loved?

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I dunno if this was asked before, hehe but i'm asking now, so... How?:?:
What do I have to do to get love through? How can I touch his heart?
Answer as if asked how can i touch yours, generally?
Or what are the ways you think I could? because I really wanna!
Hope you guys are all well..

Hi!

If you haven't read it, please look at Gavin Bollard's essay on love and Aspergers.
Click here to read

The key things that make me feel loved are:

physical contact-- hand holding, cuddling, hugging

direct statements of love and affection

praise

doing nice things for me

acceptance of my love-- when I do something to show that I care, and it's appreciated, that makes me feel loved.

Hello here too NcNbl

I agree with Vector and ToadOfSteel. I would be careful with the hugs and touching to start with tho, make sure your friend likes that because not all do.

When I think back about some people in my life, I realise that everything they said is true for me, for example I was very attached to my grandmother, and I was sad when she died, she was the one who gave me the most of all the things they mentioned. And you know what? it is probably the same for NTs, at least some of them. Everyone is different tho, whether they are AS or NTs, therefore I would pay attention to your friend's reaction when you do something for him to make sure whether he likes or dislikes it. As I mentioned in your other thread some people are nurturing, some prefer to be nurtured, some don't need constant display of affection, and some do, it just depends.

Personally I don't need constant hugs and display of affection (by touching), I don't hate it tho, but too much can annoy me, but that's just me. Anyway same goes for anything else, it will be "try and error" with your friend, and you may have to be very patient.

I wish you good luck, I think you're a good guy

Shadi

I think it is a great challenge for someone with AS to really iron out a concept of what love means to them-- as lack of a deep understanding in the subject is a commonly cited reason for the DX.

If they're young and new to the situation they may not know. My advice would be to just be patient and honest. I know I would have a lot more time to consider what I am feeling (and yes it does require thought process) if I wasn't spending all my time trying to intercept/parry/maneuver socially all the time, because I don't trust the person.

I hope this helps, good luck with that

Actions speak louder than words. Show you love him in a way he'll appreciate. I can't tell you any more than that because I don't know him.

Saying "I love you" is also important, though. IMO anyway. But showing it is more important.

Hey Shadiii!! !! ! *Imagine me screaming as i say that lol! Hey Asp-Z! Hey Eldanesh!
Thank you for those input, I'll keep that in mind.. So basically what you guys are saying is, it's trial and error which might possibly be the catastrophic end of the world for me and good luck.. hehehe.. No, just kidding, but yeah.. Okay.. I really appreciate your well wishes because i do need em.. and those you said would really be helpful when i get to that situation.. So thank you.. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.. I wish I know all you guys in person but you might hate me then, because I'm a one man crowd, well not all the time but I could be.. Hehe.. I really consider this site with all you guys in it as my friend.. And I appreciate my friends a lot, and value them..

Anyway, I would like to tell you guys what and how THIS! is all about.. But its so public or exposed here, and I'm quite shy.. So how do you guys think I can do that? It will be very nice if Shadi2, Katzefrau, Vector and JojoBean are included to those I could tell it to, if you could give me a little of your time and probably mental effort.. So please let me know.. Thank you..

_________________
"If being in a wrong planet; I think I like your's."
NT, knighted Honorary Aspie for my love for an aspie..