Am I Over reacting??

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I came out of the closet recently and have been coming to terms with being a triple minority (gay aspergers and jewish) and I'm wondering if I'm making a bigger deal out of it then it needs to be. In college I didn't care if people had a problem with my aspergers and since I wasn't out I wasn't looking to date either or care if people rejected me but since coming out I feel I have to analyze everyhting I do and where it fits into each minority culture. Do I have a right to get exhausted from all of the work it takes to do all of that or am I turning this into a lot more then it needs to be by analyzing all areas of it?

I don't mean to and I really don't want to but I don't see any other way. My straight friends have come to accept my aspergers but grasping gay too is a lot for them and so they continue forward in their straight life and I feel pushed into gay culture even though I don't agree with the partying aspects of it. Or the feeling of being so marginalized.

Just because you're attracted to guys doesn't mean you have to ditch your old life & not hang aout with your friends. If you're happy doing what they're doing, then stick with them & carry on as before. So what if some of them have a hard time? that's their hang ups, not yours, and as long as you don't hit on them or creep them out, they really should just grow up.

To preface my comment, I'm not quite sure what you are dealing with as I typically don't worry about culture, minority or otherwise.

However, your comment about them continuing their straight lives sounded as if you expected them to change. If they have not changed around you, I would take that as a sign of acceptance.

Also, if you disagree with the partying aspects of a culture, they are easily avoided by not going to parties. I have used this strategy with great success in college.

I can see why you'd feel overwhelmed. But if you have good friends who are generally accepting they should be fine. The only thing I think would change is if you find another gay guy you like you have the option of openly dating them.