I feel hopless

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Been on maybe 2 or 3 dates or semi-dates in my life.

Kissed a few girls. All times were drunk times for both

thats it really. I never leave my house. I force myself out to get groceries to go on errands, and to go to work. Occasionally I will force myself out to just try to "do nothing" take the bus and go somewhere see if I can make anything of it.

Sometimes I do force myself to make light conversations with people.

But I feel out of it and depressed. I had a good thing going for a while at my old job and I had a chance to meet alot of girls, but it was a very public place, and it was very difficult to keep up a friendly social persona.

When I come on here and I read about the advice or the advice elsewhere, I realise how inexperienced not just with interacting with girls, but with life in general. I just feel so far away.

When I actually do meet a girl once in a full moon by acting casual and cool, eventually once the possibility of something more envelops, my insecurities and neediness show, and it kills it. The worst is the silent "Never hear from them again" after nothing happened.

Its just all of the things I know I need to improve myself to finally feel confident with myself seem to be quite life-changing and drastic. And when I try to initiate them, I always revert.

I know people here are going to say that you should not have to change yourself and you should be happy with the way you are. But I am not happy with myself, I am not confident and I feel like a million strides away and that nothing else besides accomplishing that will bring my confidence out. I am so disappointed in myself from all of my missed encounters and failings.

When I think about where I need to go to get where I want to be, I just feel so hopeless considering it feels like light years from where I have been my whole life.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPeer1IMsg8[/youtube]

Dare yourself, push yourself, one step at a time and make small progress.

If you want you can provide up to 3 short things you want to achieve that are small and I can make suggestions.

(resists temptation of lame rabbit related joke)

The chances are that the best way to help with a lot of this is to get out more. It will help with your depression as you'll be distracted from it (build yourself a busy enough life and you won't have time to feel depressed ), it'll help you meet girls, and it will help with your social skills. Going out just to "do nothing" isn't going to help much, but joining some sort of society will. Personally I joined a latin and ballroom society a couple months back and so spend about five hours a week dancing (a lot more than that when there is a competition on, plus they have socials some of which I make myself go to). I wasn't expecting to enjoy it but started with a fairly open mind and I actually find it incredibly fun, and being in an evironment which not so much encourages as outright enforces social mixing (via talking to all the girls you end up dancing with) has both vastly increased my ability to speak to them (which still ain't great, but is so much better than it was) and also has resulted in me meeting loads of girls (in particular because it is a hobby in which girls outnumber guys).

Good luck

How's your read of people, ie. can you separate what you want from the crowd?

lightening020,

Try Internet dating sites. Seriously. There are many nice girls who are in the same position you are in.

If you walk into some "pick up bar" you are going to be crushed.

Do you really think that the sort of girl who might like you is going to be hanging out in a bar or a nightclub?