I guess he's just pretending to like me.

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Joined: 29 Sep 2010
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05 Dec 2010, 4:33 pm

i met this guy a few days ago and we've been on 2 dates now. we also went to a party last night, and i really started to sense that he wasn't genuinely interested in me. things just don't add up right. he acts like he really wants to date me, he tried to hold my hand at the movie we went to earlier this week, and he'll call me cutesy names in our text messages and be all gentlemanlike... but a few of the things he's said/done actually seem rude.

when we were walking to the party last night, i was telling him that i'm a lightweight and about how i've always been the first among my friends to puke and he was like "uhh, yeah, please don't"
later on that night we were sitting on someone's porch and he just up and left me in midsentence. i was telling him about a childhood memory or something (i don't remember too well now) but he interrupted me and was just like "i'm going inside" and walked away. when i walked inside a few minutes later he was like "why'd you come inside?"
it's just stuff like that. little things that offend me and make me even more paranoid than i already am about being taken advantage of.

i'm so hurt and confused /rant

Janissy
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05 Dec 2010, 4:46 pm

Saying "uh yea please don't" about puking would be forgiveable if he said it in a lighthearted joking tone of voice.

Walking away from you in mid-sentence to go inside and then wondering why you joined him is unforgiveable. That's a big red flag of his disinterest. He's probably holding out for sex and literally nothing else.

It should end here.

emlion
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05 Dec 2010, 4:50 pm

Are you young?
Because if you are sometimes young guys try and be all macho and cool - treat em mean, keep em keen mentality.

Wallourdes
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05 Dec 2010, 4:55 pm

Quote:

when we were walking to the party last night, i was telling him that i'm a lightweight and about how i've always been the first among my friends to puke and he was like "uhh, yeah, please don't"

Negative news, a real chance of you puking because of the alcohol while he hopes on a nice evening with I guess hope for getting second base (sorry, sexdrive is everpresent in guys - exceptions left out of the equation here).

Quote:

later on that night we were sitting on someone's porch and he just up and left me in midsentence. i was telling him about a childhood memory or something (i don't remember too well now) but he interrupted me and was just like "i'm going inside" and walked away. when i walked inside a few minutes later he was like "why'd you come inside?"

A few possibilities: Lack of social competence, heavy conversation subject and need to blow of the load by "getting a drink" or he thought it was boring.

I don't know enough to get a clear picture but as described here I am getting the idea that his balls are steering his brain at the moment, as how much of a gentleman he acts to be.

I can't blame a man for being a man, but he seems to be only out to get in your pants.

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Last edited by Wallourdes on 05 Dec 2010, 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chronos
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05 Dec 2010, 5:03 pm

madbirdgirl wrote:

That was rude to leave you in mid-sentence. I think I would take these two actions as a sign that you two are not compatible. He might like some aspects of your social dynamics are incompatible.

hale_bopp
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05 Dec 2010, 6:24 pm

How old are you? The puking thing is immature and stupid but that can be let go if you'e 16 or something.

Also I don't think he likes you. He was obviously annoyed you followed him inside. Get rid of him.

Lene
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05 Dec 2010, 7:22 pm

madbirdgirl wrote:

My guess is that you see this as something more than he does.

If you only met a few days ago, then telling him about your childhood memories is probably a little soon, although I guess after 2 dates you would run out of things to say.

How long were you chatting to him for? If it was longer than 20 mins, perhaps he'd been trying to cut into the conversation politely/send out visual clues and eventually just gave up. I'm not saying you're like that, just that that's the only situation that I would ever stand up and leave a person mid sentence; I'd probably also be annoyed if they followed me in. He may have wanted to chat to other people more during the party.

Either way, you've every right to be a bit a bit hurt, and I'd wait for an apology/explanation before going on another date with him.

Last edited by Lene on 05 Dec 2010, 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

superboyian
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05 Dec 2010, 7:39 pm

Oh oh... Jerk alert... get rid of him..... There is absolutely zero chances between the two of you, you both seem incompatible and it's clear that he is pretending to be interested.

Not worth risking into a true relationship, you are what is important and you need to be with someone who would treat you just right.

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madbirdgirl
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05 Dec 2010, 9:04 pm

Alright, thanks for the replies guys. I'm definitely going to talk to him about it before i see him again (if that happens)

astaut
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05 Dec 2010, 9:50 pm

emlion wrote:

Are you young?
Because if you are sometimes young guys try and be all macho and cool - treat em mean, keep em keen mentality.

Yeah.
It sounds like he was trying to look cool in front of his friends, but he sounds sort of douchey about it.

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hale_bopp
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05 Dec 2010, 10:17 pm

astaut wrote:

emlion wrote:

Are you young?
Because if you are sometimes young guys try and be all macho and cool - treat em mean, keep em keen mentality.

Yeah.
It sounds like he was trying to look cool in front of his friends, but he sounds sort of douchey about it.

This seems like the case to me, DEPENDING on how old this boy/man is.

If he is infact an adult, not a teenager, I would reccommend getting rid of him ASAP. If you're only good enough for him when he's alone, the truth is he is not good enough for you. Period. I would be more flexible if this is a teenage boy because they are immature and peer pressure is real. If this is the case, hes got a lot of growing up to and I would leave him anyway, maybe he will then realise what he's lost.

Wombat
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06 Dec 2010, 7:51 am

madbirdgirl,

I would also like to know how old you are.

You sound like a nice girl who would love to have a nice boyfriend.

But these days so many guys just want to "score" and if you don't "come across" in the first few dates they will dump you.

DON'T DO IT.

You deserve a better class of guy. Believe me, they are out there but they are just as shy as you. Wait for them.

You deserve a good male who will love you forever. That man is worth waiting for.

ToadOfSteel
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06 Dec 2010, 8:46 am

hale_bopp wrote:

If he is infact an adult, not a teenager, I would reccommend getting rid of him ASAP. If you're only good enough for him when he's alone, the truth is he is not good enough for you. Period. I would be more flexible if this is a teenage boy because they are immature and peer pressure is real. If this is the case, hes got a lot of growing up to and I would leave him anyway, maybe he will then realise what he's lost.

That's a hard-line stance to take isn't it? I had to maintain some distance from my ex when I was with her because my mother didn't approve of the relationship (no idea why, my ex was good friends with my mother long before i ever met her), which meant that I could really only be with her in private, no matter how much I wished I could be with her in public. Also, there's the fact that I've spent years sneering at couples (tacitly so, i'm not one to cause issues) that display affection in public (and I resumed after the breakup), and so to do such myself would make me a giant hypocrite.

RightGalaxy
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06 Dec 2010, 9:43 am

He was attracted to you physically and already made up a stereoptype on how you must be based upon your appearance. Now, he's getting to know your personality and doesn't like you.
This doesn't make you bad. It's just incompatibility. Guys want to have sex anyhow even if they are incompatible with you. Break it off now and save yourself from pain later on. He might think that the things he doesn't like about your personality are superficial because he wants a companion and wants especially to have an orgasm. He probably thinks,"Huh, I got a nice women here and I have a chance to get laid. Maybe I'll just overlook those things that are getting on my nerves." If you stay with this guy, I promise you it will turn abusive. You'll get used for sex until he finds what he's really looking for then you'll get dumped or he'll keep you on the string just in case he gets dumped. Either way, you will waste years waiting for this person to change and start loving you when they just simply don't and never did. You are you and you're not going to change. If he doesn't like you now, he's not going to like you later. AGAIN!! This doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's just not going to work.
Look at it this way: Suppose you're really hungry but never eat fast food. You only eat healthy food. Now, you're practically starving and there is nothing around except a Mcdonalds. Aren't you going to go and eat there? This guy will satisfy his needs with you or anybody else until what he really wants comes along. You're not hamburger. You're heart and soul. Get out of this now. Give yourself a big ego boost. Decide to stop seeing him. Tell him,"You're a nice guy but this just isn't going to work." Do this before you get attached to an illusion that will hurt you in the end.

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